by The Last Honest Guy
I feel like since birth I’ve been raised with all of these preconceived notions about men, love and relationships in general. I really wish there was some way to either prove or debunk a lot of these, because I feel like it’s these preconceived ideas that really get in the way of a lot of us and our search/path/journey/whatever to finding that one compatible person, where it’s not only their desirable characteristics and things in common that make them so right for us, but also how their flaws fit together with our own.
What I don’t understand is, while I try not to place too much stock in those preconceived notions of the opposite sex, I find myself getting really frustrated when playing the dating game. It feels like it’s practically impossible these days to grab a guy’s attention without being overly flirtatious and getting all up on him physically. I am somewhat shy and reserved, but I do like engaging new people in conversation. I don’t want to hang all over a guy I just met 5 minutes ago, because A) it makes me uncomfortable being touched a lot by people I don’t know, so I tend to assume others feel the same way and B) I’m not confident enough to assume someone I barely know even wants to be touched by me anyway. Are men really as simple as all my guy friends claim to be: “We’re only concerned with three things: food, sex and sleep. It’s YOU women that worry about everything else!”
My question ultimately is this: what is it that truly attracts men? I’ve always been told to be myself and be confident, but sometimes I feel like it’s not enough. Do men in general like it when women hang all over them, or flirt heavily with them? Do guys ever notice that shy one hanging back a little? Or if you ARE shy, do men just tend to perceive you as being frigid? To me, being shy doesn’t necessarily equate to lacking confidence. Some people are just more reserved than others. I just get frustrated when I feel like in order to get someone’s attention these days, I have to throw myself at them or risk being overlooked. (more…)
by The Last Honest Guy
Well, Valentine’s Day is around the corner and you don’t know what to buy your boyfriend, husband, guy you like or significant other, right?
Luckily it doesn’t have to be such a hard decision this year because I’ve taken the time to make a list of 10 pretty unique Valentine’s Gifts for Him. In this list you will find gift ideas that range from just a few dollars to some that cost a couple of hundred. Only you can make the decision on what fits for your specific relationship.
I will also give you a current price, a short description of the item and an explanation of why this is a good choice of a gift for a guy. This will certainly cut down your research time and the headache of taking the time of doing it yourself. I know, you can thank me later.
So, lets start! (more…)
by The Last Honest Guy
So I’ve met this guy on an online dating site. He’s 2 years older than me (I’m 18). We started texting this year September, we met up a month later but he left me waiting outside in the cold for an hour and we did it in the back of his car for 10 minutes before he left back to work. Know that I traveled 45 minutes to get to where he was. So I told him I never wanted to see him again (I told him that losing my virginity might have been better than that encounter), he retorts that my head wasn’t even that great. Anyhow just before New Years he starts texting me again, I really did think at first that it was just all an attempt for him to get laid despite his comments of just wanting me for himself. How he wants me to be his wifey/shorty. I got to meet him on New Years Eve and we had sex. It was amazing and afterward he texted me saying that hes my boyfriend now or wtv. Later on the week he wanted me to go all the way to his house or back to my friend’s apartment which I couldn’t do because I was really busy. He got really mad at me and just said forget it. Then my phone suffered liquid damage so I emailed him about it and he didn’t say anything. I called him up and asked to meet up and he was like I’ll IM you instead.
1) He never did
2) I’m feeling like a sadist right now, it seems like I need a hard phone call from reality
Honest guy, if I did knew this guy was sketchy (he barely wanted to tell me his last name), why would I do something like this? What is this guy’s deal? Is he messed in the head or he’s just a player? I just want to know for the future so I can move away from the losers. Or did I just play my cards wrong? Was I emotionally slutty? (more…)
by The Last Honest Guy
Let’s get the easy stuff out of the way: I’m 22; the male in question is 21. We’re both ultra boring white kids who grew up in (insert laugh here) Catholic school, although not the same one.
So, I’m not really into clingy – something I’m sure to note to anyone with whom I speak, be it friend, foe, or significant other. Not so into the last one, as I don’t typically date.
I also have pre-defined relationship views and decisions (already made and ready to go) should I ever idiotically enter into one. They’re simple things, mostly…like telling the guy how often I am comfortable being contacted and how I get really easily annoyed if certain lines are crossed.
I make sure to tell whatever unfortunate male thinks dating me is a good idea in advance, and usually it works out rather well. (An example is my saying, “Hey, I’m perfectly okay with kissing…but not so into the sex thing, so don’t get too excited.” Insert a wink and a smile, and they’re usually already laughing. AND they respect the boundaries.)
Maybe I’ve just gotten lucky.
Whatever.
The male in question is respectful of those boundaries, although I feel they may have made him insecure, as he asks a lot of, “Do you think this is too clingy?” type questions. Or perhaps he’s just open to lines of communication. I was hoping for the latter, but…
Probably not the case in point. He’s um. You know. 21.
Anyway, lost my virginity to this kid about…oh, two days ago, and yesterday he called me and asked me to come over and stay the night. 1.) The dog is sick. 2.) Had been up since 5am, and was entirely too exhausted to drive two hours to see him. It was 6pm. 3.) Those two combined formed this sentence to him: Not tonight. Don’t get me wrong. I’m heartless, but I did explain the former two reasons as well.
So. 21. Yes. Must mention that again.
This morning, he calls with a “You know how I make rash decisions…?” and you can probably guess the rest from there, but he found another girl with whom to share his bed.
He sounded…apologetic on the phone.
I just said, “Well, best of luck in your new relationship.”
So that’s most of the situation. (Also, one of my pre-planned things. I don’t think it’s worth it to get mad over something like that. If he wants to be with someone else or, say, become upset enough to do it out of…whatever reason he did it… he’s more than welcome. I also don’t think it’s worth it to try and work it out when it happened so early on in the first place. Really, thank high heavens. Later in the relationship may have led to my being less rational about it.)
Okay, so what I’m failing to understand is WHY OH WHY he’s being ridiculously clingy right now. I was assuming that I had done something (other than the not-coming-over thing) to prompt all of that. I’d assume that sleeping with someone else is one of those, “I don’t want to be with you anymore” things, or maybe he just thinks that’s okay and we can move on. Or even better yet, a way of saying, “I’m not that into you.”
I am so failing to understand this. My guess would be something along the lines of immaturity mixed with a strange understanding of how the world works (ie: that his behavior is okay because of whatever rationale he formed in his head to explain it away,) because he’s not giving me, “GO AWAY” signals. He’s giving me the exact opposite.
If I had said, “Yes, I am angry,” when he asked me if I was mad, would that have helped? Not really into lying, but still…Seriously.
WHAT is going on??? (more…)
