I made plans about a week ago for my husband and I to spend the day out at the lake on Memorial Day. I thought it would be a good chance for us to spend some time together, because he’s going to be working a lot of overtime the next several weeks. He agreed and I’ve been looking forward to this. Today his mom called and wants us to come to her house tomorrow for a cookout. I’m upset because we’ve had our other plans for a week, and she thinks she can call the day before for a cookout? Of course he wants to go, but I want to stick with our original plan. (We can’t do both as his mom lives a few hours away.) My husband knows I don’t want to go to his mom’s and now he’s acting mad at me. Who is in the wrong here? Should I give in and just go to his mom’s even though I’ve been looking forward to going to the lake?
As a guy I can say that most of us usually think about events and everything in our every day life as a money sign $$$$. With that said, I can tell you that if given the option to go the lake and spend money buying all the food and supplies or going over to mom’s and not have to spend a penny, not to mention the fact that there’s no labor involved, I would definitely take the second option.
Another thing you must take in consideration is that most of us guys usually consciously or unconsciously have what we call “plan A” “plan B” etc. So in this case he may have just agreed to go to the lake because there were no other better options available at the time. So the minute something better came up he took it, that simple. In all reality is a no-brainer and if you think about it, going over to his mom’s also saves you the hassle to have to buy everything that you need and have to cook it too. On top of things, if you were planning on making your husband cook everything, then it’s no surprise that he wants to go over to moms. You mention that he has been or will be working a lot of overtime which might one more reason why he wants to just relax this Memorial Day weekend and do as little work as possible.
Really, what you need to do is sit down and have a conversation with your husband and really find out why he wants to go over to his mom’s instead of the lake. Now, keep in mind the possible reasons I just gave you and know that if you guys are not very well financially or have big expenses coming up, then it might be a smarter choice to go over to the in-laws and eat for free. With that said, if he has already given in to your demands and called it off with the in-laws, then at least be kind and don’t expect him to do much work when he comes along to the lake against his wishes. He has already told you what he wants to do and now everything he’s doing is to please you and avoid a fight. In the future just know that we always look at things from a financial perspective and that’s usually the basis of our decisions. We rarely want to throw away money when is not necessary.
I’m a woman of 48 who thankfully looks and feels about 33. This is due to keeping active and eating well. I’ve had a good career and lots of lovely friends. My only heartache is that is seems so difficult to have a relationship which works and lasts. Sure I’ve had two serious boyfriends, one for a year and a half who wanted to marry but I wasn’t into him enough to settle. The second was 14 years younger and ended the relationship after 4 years as he couldn’t commit for a life. I am a good person and would love to meet someone with whom it works. I’ve tried dance classes, traveling and even internet dating clubs all to no avail. I usually go about my day without focusing on this as I tend to take it in my stride. This helped by the fact that I often get asked out and do feel attractive. The problem is that I’m only really attracted to much younger guys. I don’t want a guy who has children. However, after the most recent breakup with a guy of 24 (we dated for 2 months) I feel that it is so hopeless. This hurt me a bit as I liked him so much even though he had a serious drink problem and knew it couldn’t continue. I started saying to myself ‘am I a lesbian?’, it was that bad! I know I’m not a lesbian of course but why is it so difficult? Thanks for any advice.
First of all let me just say that this is the Honest opinion of a Guy from a guy’s perspective. Being a woman of 48, you should not be looking for guys that are much younger than you. Let me explain, A guy who is younger than you is more likely to have a different prospective in life than you. In other words, you guys have different interests. He might want to drink and have fun and not settle down. Hint: the 24 year old guy. I would say that a guy who is 35 and up, is more likely to want to settle down only if he doesn’t have kids or has never been married before. If this has happened and he’s now single, than he’s probably the kind that started too young and this is his second chance at life and is definitely not looking to settle down again.
Also look at the current trends in our society and look at yourself. Right now it is “cool” to hook up with older ladies, especially if they look hot and younger than their own age, i.e. you. You are referred to as a “cougar” or a “MILF” (look it up), which is the reason why younger guys might try to hit on you. All they really want is to “hit it and quit it” That’s all! In reality you should know that those are the intensions of any guy that is much younger than you.
In my opinion it seems that you really like the attention of young guys because it makes you feel young too and because obviously a younger guy looks physically better than a guy your age. The problem here is that there is a difference in the stages of life you are both in. Mainly the fact that you want to settle down and they don’t. That also includes a lot of other differences that are only normal for their age group.
My advice would be to look for guys that are closer to your age because chances are that both of you might have the same priorities in life. Now a day, there are a lot of 40-50 year old guys that also look a lot younger than their age and have a healthy life style as well. One good place to start looking is the gym. If a matured age guy is at the gym and looks good, chances are that he’s into a healthy life style already, which seems to be one of the major requirements for you in a partner. At this point in your life you might also need to compromise some of the things you need in a guy. For example, chances are that a mature guy that looks good probably has kids, and that’s normal. Think about it, he was probably even better looking when he was younger and therefore had a lot of available options, so chances are that he’s already divorced or has kids. What I’m trying to say is that you need to pick your priorities of what you want in a guy and separate them between the “must have” and “should have”. Be realistic or be very patient. Those are you two options.
I really like my best friend’s ex and I think he might like me too. So if I try to get together with him I’m not sure how she would feel about it and I’m afraid I might lose my best friend. What do I do?
Let’s just start by saying that if you think that your friend’s ex likes you, you are WRONG! He only wants to have sex with you. So snap out of it and stop thinking that he cares about you because he doesn’t. If you are somewhat good looking or at least better looking than his Ex-girlfriend, of course, he wants you, but not as a girlfriend. Let me just tell you how the mind of a guy works, if you are good looking, we want to hit it. That’s it! So stop being delusional into thinking that there’s something more than that. And yes, he might say that he really likes you, or that the whole time he was with his Ex he really wanted to be with you and now that he’s not with her, he feels is right to pursue you. But that is just a line to make you fall for it. Bottom line is that he only wants to get in your panties and that’s it.
With that said, we guys have a saying that goes; Bro’s before Ho’s. I think you should take this concept and apply it to yourself. Don’t ever trade a quick moment of lust for a friendship, especially if you value that friendship. There are plenty of guys out there and there’s no excuse for betraying your friend like that. After all, if she didn’t want him in the first place, it was probably for a good reason. So what makes you think you’ll be able to start something with him and make it work? Now, if you don’t really care about losing your friend then go ahead and do whatever you need to do. Just don’t be surprised if it turns out to be he just wanted to “hit it and quit it” because chances are, that’s the only thing he wants. Trust me.
Let us know what you think in the comments though! In the meantime, we’ll get right back on track to posting these at the rhythm we were doing before. I have to apologize, as I’m the reason we slowed down. I have a good excuse though! I got very sick. I had to buy oxycodone online and take it for a few days, I was bedridden for a few days, and not feeling great for a few more after that. We’re back on track though, don’t you guys worry.
So this guy at work and I have messed around a little after the store closed in the break room. We only kissed for a bit and massaged each other, but never had sex. Well after that he texted me asking if I was okay with everything that went down. I said I was. Well after a while a few weeks passed and he wanted us to do it again. I said that I had a problem with it because I thought and felt like that’s all he wanted from me. He said he didn’t mean for me to feel that way about it. Then a few weeks later he said “I care about you” I jokingly said “no you don’t” he got really upset and I guess took it personal. He changed for a while and was very distant toward me. Well recently he said he “cared about me again but he knows that I don’t believe him” I then told him that I thought about it and I do believe him. Ever since then he changed and is sweeter and compliments me more than before. He says things like “I can’t stop looking at you sometimes” that I “distract him in a good way” and he is also talking about the times we had, after close when we messed around. And I guess wants it again. He seems really sweet. Does he really care about me or does he just want action?