by The Last Honest Guy
So I’ve met this guy on an online dating site. He’s 2 years older than me (I’m 18). We started texting this year September, we met up a month later but he left me waiting outside in the cold for an hour and we did it in the back of his car for 10 minutes before he left back to work. Know that I traveled 45 minutes to get to where he was. So I told him I never wanted to see him again (I told him that losing my virginity might have been better than that encounter), he retorts that my head wasn’t even that great. Anyhow just before New Years he starts texting me again, I really did think at first that it was just all an attempt for him to get laid despite his comments of just wanting me for himself. How he wants me to be his wifey/shorty. I got to meet him on New Years Eve and we had sex. It was amazing and afterward he texted me saying that hes my boyfriend now or wtv. Later on the week he wanted me to go all the way to his house or back to my friend’s apartment which I couldn’t do because I was really busy. He got really mad at me and just said forget it. Then my phone suffered liquid damage so I emailed him about it and he didn’t say anything. I called him up and asked to meet up and he was like I’ll IM you instead.
1) He never did
2) I’m feeling like a sadist right now, it seems like I need a hard phone call from reality
Honest guy, if I did knew this guy was sketchy (he barely wanted to tell me his last name), why would I do something like this? What is this guy’s deal? Is he messed in the head or he’s just a player? I just want to know for the future so I can move away from the losers. Or did I just play my cards wrong? Was I emotionally slutty? (more…)
by The Last Honest Guy
Let’s get the easy stuff out of the way: I’m 22; the male in question is 21. We’re both ultra boring white kids who grew up in (insert laugh here) Catholic school, although not the same one.
So, I’m not really into clingy – something I’m sure to note to anyone with whom I speak, be it friend, foe, or significant other. Not so into the last one, as I don’t typically date.
I also have pre-defined relationship views and decisions (already made and ready to go) should I ever idiotically enter into one. They’re simple things, mostly…like telling the guy how often I am comfortable being contacted and how I get really easily annoyed if certain lines are crossed.
I make sure to tell whatever unfortunate male thinks dating me is a good idea in advance, and usually it works out rather well. (An example is my saying, “Hey, I’m perfectly okay with kissing…but not so into the sex thing, so don’t get too excited.” Insert a wink and a smile, and they’re usually already laughing. AND they respect the boundaries.)
Maybe I’ve just gotten lucky.
Whatever.
The male in question is respectful of those boundaries, although I feel they may have made him insecure, as he asks a lot of, “Do you think this is too clingy?” type questions. Or perhaps he’s just open to lines of communication. I was hoping for the latter, but…
Probably not the case in point. He’s um. You know. 21.
Anyway, lost my virginity to this kid about…oh, two days ago, and yesterday he called me and asked me to come over and stay the night. 1.) The dog is sick. 2.) Had been up since 5am, and was entirely too exhausted to drive two hours to see him. It was 6pm. 3.) Those two combined formed this sentence to him: Not tonight. Don’t get me wrong. I’m heartless, but I did explain the former two reasons as well.
So. 21. Yes. Must mention that again.
This morning, he calls with a “You know how I make rash decisions…?” and you can probably guess the rest from there, but he found another girl with whom to share his bed.
He sounded…apologetic on the phone.
I just said, “Well, best of luck in your new relationship.”
So that’s most of the situation. (Also, one of my pre-planned things. I don’t think it’s worth it to get mad over something like that. If he wants to be with someone else or, say, become upset enough to do it out of…whatever reason he did it… he’s more than welcome. I also don’t think it’s worth it to try and work it out when it happened so early on in the first place. Really, thank high heavens. Later in the relationship may have led to my being less rational about it.)
Okay, so what I’m failing to understand is WHY OH WHY he’s being ridiculously clingy right now. I was assuming that I had done something (other than the not-coming-over thing) to prompt all of that. I’d assume that sleeping with someone else is one of those, “I don’t want to be with you anymore” things, or maybe he just thinks that’s okay and we can move on. Or even better yet, a way of saying, “I’m not that into you.”
I am so failing to understand this. My guess would be something along the lines of immaturity mixed with a strange understanding of how the world works (ie: that his behavior is okay because of whatever rationale he formed in his head to explain it away,) because he’s not giving me, “GO AWAY” signals. He’s giving me the exact opposite.
If I had said, “Yes, I am angry,” when he asked me if I was mad, would that have helped? Not really into lying, but still…Seriously.
WHAT is going on??? (more…)
by The Last Honest Guy
Ok… so I’ve been talking to and really enjoying this great guy I met through friends, my only issue is that he’s considerably larger than me, I’m 5’4, 105 lbs, he’s 6’0, 300+ (I’m bad a judging guy weight but he’s pretty huge), I don’t really know how any of the physical stuff would work….. HELP!! (more…)
by The Last Honest Guy
Hi Honest Guy,
This past year, I was in a nine month relationship with an older guy (he’s 26 now and white), and things were great in the beginning. This is our second time dating, by the way. We were just like any other happy couple, until my trust issues started to kick in. I don’t know why they’re so bad, but I do feel like I hurt his pride/feelings in the process. It got to the point where he wanted to take a “break.” I really didn’t like the idea, and begged him not to do it. We ended up going along with it anyway, because I was really wanting to make things work.
It was rocky the whole time, and I think the final straw-breaker was me checking his e-mail and seeing a message from a dating site. At first, I thought he was using it actively, but then I found out he never deleted it the first time around. He wanted to end things
completely at that point.
I don’t remember what was said or what we did to come to an agreement, but he said that we could be friends and try to build our way up to what we were. In the mean time, he wanted me to go to counseling to work on my problems. I felt like we should both go (we both have problems). He agreed.
I started to think about the whole situation, and I realized that going to couple’s counseling without being a couple is sort of a silly idea, so I told him so. He got upset and said, “If you want to just end things, just do it.”
That really upset me. I called/texted and called some more. Of course, he ignored me. That seriously hurt my feelings.
He told me he’d call me later. Instead of calming down, I ended up texting and calling him more that night.
No reply.
I sent him a text the next day asking if this was something we could work out, or should we go our separate ways.
No reply.
So I called three days later to tell him I had a solution to our problem, and if he wanted to hear it, he should call me. If not, I understood.
No reply again.
We hadn’t talked in two weeks. I made a mistake of texting him, and saying, “Thanks for the break up. Made me realize that I had some issues. I hope we can be friends in the future. Until then, I hope you’re doing well.”
Should I just accept that things are over, or does he just need a break from us? And should I not have sent that last text message? (more…)
by The Last Honest Guy
Hmmm OK where to start! So I met this amazing guy back in February and we were great together but he wanted children and I already have children of 12 and 13 and don’t feel that I want to start again so mutually we decided that it was better to end things before it really hurt! Obviously it did hurt but we got through it and we moved on and
then just seemed to gravitate towards each other but we were both attached elsewhere and decided to cut all contact. Last month he got back in touch after breaking up with the girl he was seeing and I’m single too now anyway one thing led to another and we’re back to seeing each other although both looking elsewhere and agreeing to end things if and when we meet that other person although on my part I’m honest enough to admit I’m not looking that hard! He’s gorgeous and if he didn’t want children I’d grab him with both hands and am even now thinking perhaps I should compromise on children and take the plunge but I’m scared that revealing too much will scare him off and that perhaps I’m reading too much into it all? Also the sex is amazing, we’re so in tune and he makes me feel like no other man I’ve known and often tells me the same and this makes me worry that it’s blurring things?
So we talk everyday he makes me go to his house just to cuddle him and is very loving and affectionate and if I was to believe actions speak louder than words I’d be in there but accompanied by the fact that he tells me he’s looking elsewhere I wonder if I’m just fooling myself? At the weekend whilst very drunk he told me I’m perfect and fit with him in every way? He claims to remember nothing from that night though? do I bring it up?
I’m so confused 🙁 So what do you think, do I stay or, do I go? (more…)
by The Last Honest Guy
My boyfriend and I are in college and have been dating a while now. Last January on New Years he told me he loved me for the first time. Then 3 days later, he broke up with me for no reason out of the blue. He then got back together with his ex girlfriend a month later. They were broken up within another month and after weeks of playing hard to get I gave in and we are now together again.
Over the past couple months things have been changing. When we used to have little arguments and I would get upset or cry he would completely drop the argument and apologize for making me upset. Now he just yells and tells me he doesn’t want to talk to me. He used to send me the sweetest text messages saying how much he loved me and how much I meant to him. Our texts now usually read “hey what are you doing, oh ok, haha, yeah, just boring stuff). A month ago we got in a huge fight because his ex girlfriend won’t stop texting him despite the fact that he has told her to leave him alone. I got really upset and mad, which made him mad and he ended up yelling at me and telling me to get out of his apartment and go home. The next day before I left to go on a girls vacation trip for the weekend I went to tell him bye. We were fine, sweet, smiley, and in love. As soon as I got out of town, things changed. He started ignoring me and told me that he was confused right now because we had been arguing so much. He said he didn’t know if he still wanted to date me or not and he needed time to think about it. He wouldn’t tell me he loved me, call, text, or anything the entire time I was on my trip. The second I got home, everything was fine and he didn’t even want to talk about it he just wanted to act like it never happened.
Last night it was his birthday and my first time meeting a lot of his friends from home. We were PERFECT. all lovey dovey and he kept telling me how in love he was with me. Later on in the night I ended up getting a little too drunk. I used the word “cunt” to describe one of my sorority sisters and yelled his name really loud at 3am because I could not find him. Then I got sick. He took care of me and was so helpful. This morning, he texts me and says “is it just me or does it feel like were not even dating” …We haven’t seen each other in a couple weeks because we have been home on Christmas break. We usually see each other every day. Of course I freaked out as he told me he was confused about us right now and needed time to think. He said that he saw a “redneck” side of me he’s never seen before and didn’t like. He said it was giving him second thoughts about dating me and was very unattractive. He also uninvited me to his birthday dinner with his family. Just like when I was on my girls trip, he’s once again saying he’s confused about us and needs time to clear his head.
How in the world am I supposed to handle this? This is the second time he’s been “confused” and I don’t think its fair that he changes his mind every other weekend. What should I do? What should I say to him? We haven’t broken up and he tells me all the time he could never break up with me because he’s so deeply in love with me, but why is he doing this? I’m so in the dark and I can’t stop crying. I’m not 100% sure we will break up and judging by last time I doubt we will but why does he keep doing this? Please help me I need real advice not what I want to hear. (more…)
