I recently started talking to a 30 year old Hispanic guy that is going through a divorce and has two young daughters . He seems very nice and hasn’t said anything bad about his ex other than it sounds like she cheated on him since he mentioned trust issues. She is giving him full custody and the house. I’m keeping an open mind, but I don’t want to be stupid either. I’m worried about several things 1. That the divorce isn’t final, so I’m dating a married man. 2. What if they reconcile. 3. The impact of everything on his children. 4. Being the rebound chick. Some background information about me: I’m single, never married, and no children. I was in a LTR (5 years) with a man in the past that had a child, but was never married. That basically ended b/c he didn’t want to get married or have more children and I realized I do.
I would advice you to stay away from a relationship with a divorced man with kids. The main reason is because you don’t have children of your own. You have to keep in mind that having kids for the first time will be an incredible first experience for you as opposed to him just being a repetitive one. I really believe that those kind of experiences should be shared and enjoyed just as much by both people in the relationship.
You might also run the risk that he might not want anymore kids period and that might definitely be a deal breaker.
In the case he’s willing to have more kids, you will have to deal with your own kids and the kids of another women being together. As a stepmother your job will be to love those kids equally and not show any preferences between your real kids and your stepchildren. Are you sure you’ll be able to do that? It wouldn’t be fair for some innocent children to have to go through something like that.
In additions, you will have to deal with an ex-wife who will never go away, like it or not. She’s always going to be part of his life and there’s no two ways about it. Are you willing to deal with that?
Those are just some good points to keep in mind. I’m sure there’s a lot more other things to think about. For now, my advice is to not even get yourself in that situation and avoid it by all means. You’re still on time right now to turn around and not get involved, so please do the smart thing.