by The Last Honest Guy
My boyfriend (45, white, cop) and I (together 5+ years) live together (1+ year) and I’m discovering that he is resistant to my suggestions when it comes to training our dogs.
I hired a trainer when they were younger and go for refresher training every now and then (he doesn’t participate) and it’s really helpful. Our dogs are strong and since I do most of their care and walks alone, I need all the help I can get.
When we walk the dogs together, I’ll make suggestions on how he can better control one of them and he gets tense with me. I’ve started asking “would you like to see what the trainer taught me that works?” so that he has a choice and doesn’t feel like I’m telling him what to do, but he resents that too.
I’ve explained that it’s really helpful for us to walk the dogs in the same manner (using the same training), because I’m not strong enough to control them on my own the way he can and he seemed to understand, but still seems to resent me speaking up and critiques my methods all the time. When explain my methods, he does the “hey don’t jump all over me,” but I don’t think I’m jumping.
What is this all about? (more…)
by The Last Honest Guy
I was married for 10 years and about 6 months after leaving my husband I met someone else who I care very, very much for. We dated for a while and things were absolutely perfect. I have 3 kids and he has 1. I am 31 and he is 41. When we were comfortable enough to bring our kids into the picture we did. He unfortunately is not much of a kid person and I have 3. Kids don’t bother me at all so it never bothered me to have his child around me even if my kids were with their father. Anyway, after 4 or 5 months of dating we broke up for a few weeks, then got back together for a couple months then broke up again. All the while staying “friends”. We never officially got back together but he is the first person I talk to everyday and the last person I talk to every night and most of the time all day in between. Our conversations never get old, we always laugh and I can honestly say that he is my best friend and he says the same of me. When my kids are not with me (which is rarely) I spend my free time with him. Even when they are with me and we don’t actually spend time together we are usually always on the phone. weeknights, weekends, late into the night. I know he’s not seeing anyone else but I really just don’t know what to do about the situation. We’re not “together” but we are. It’s very confusing. He has helped me so much in so many ways. I had nothing after my divorce and he helped me to get my first vehicle and pushed me to go back to school and is always there for me when I need him. We are sleeping together and that is always absolutely amazing as well. I just feel that sometimes I’m wasting my time and things will never work out. I’m not getting any younger and if I let myself stay attached to him I will never move on and find someone who is willing to love me and everything about me including my kids. I love him unconditionally and I will love him unconditionally even if things don’t work out. I want the best for him. He will always be part of my life, he’s become family to me and has been a better support for me through everything than my own blood family has been. I just don’t know where to go from here. What do I need to do??? HELP!!! (more…)
by The Last Honest Guy
I’m 25, my boyfriend is 32; we’re both Puerto Rican. We’ve been together about 4 years. Overall we have a great relationship. He works very hard in his business to be able to provide for his son and to make sure that we have a nice lifestyle in the future. Over the last several weeks, he has had little to no sex drive. To add to that, I’ve lost weight and he doesn’t find me sexually attractive because I’m too skinny. I understand that stress from working can make him not as into sex and I’ve tried to be patient. We spoke about it today and it turned into an argument. Finally I said “I shouldn’t have to twist your arm into being intimate with me, “look at me” and he said, “you know I’m not into super skinny chicks so what is there for me to look at that’s supposed to get me aroused?” My feelings are very hurt by this whole situation because I would think that genuine feelings and love would supersede physical appearance. It’s also messing with my psyche as a woman to know that the man I love that claims to love me so much isn’t sexually attracted to me and has no desire to be intimate with me. We’ve been intimate lately about every week and a half. It used to be several times per week. I feel like I have no control here. Please advise.
Thanks! (more…)
by The Last Honest Guy
I need help! I have met an amazing guy online. We talked for about 2 weeks then, since we live in the same town, we decided to do lunch. We had a great time. For weeks we would spend a good part of the day chatting online. We eventually went out a second time and had a great time. However, he is going through divorce. He has said they are not getting back together.. But the last time we went out he poured his heart out to me over his frustration over her behavior. After that date, he has been distant. We haven’t really chatted online any more. We are friends on facebook so he does respond to some of my emails. I asked if he wanted to hang out and his response has been “I have been busy and a lot on my mind”. On Fridays on facebook he posts that he needs friends to hang with for the nite. I totally understand that. He needs personal time… but some of those friends are girls. He never includes me in “friend” time. It makes me wonder if he still views me as possible more than another gal pal. While we don’t chat (still occasionally sends message on facebook) or hang out anymore, no matter what I post as my facebook status, he “likes” it (not every single one, but I would say about 60-75% of the time. it has also been brought to my attention by a buddy of mine that I have been too clingy toward everyone here lately… even this guy I like…. so I sent him a message explaining how I have realized my clinginess and I didn’t mean to be that way. I need advice on how to know what this guy is thinking, where I stand with him, how to get home comfy enough with me to hang out again because he is the sweetest guy I have ever met and he is a true gentleman. A dream come true…help!!! (more…)
by The Last Honest Guy
I met this guy at school a few weeks ago. He is in a fraternity. He text me that same day, he was so sweet. He told me he is interested in me. We met up at school a few day later. We were flirting. I walked him to his car. In the parking lot, we were making out. It went a little too far. He would text me everyday. On Saturday, he invited me to hang out with his friends. I invited my friend to come along. He later told me we were going to play beer bong. He text me, that his friends doesn’t believe he has two hot girls. My friend didn’t want to go. We went to the movies instead. My friends think he now views me as slut. I wasn’t suppose to kiss him right away. He just wants sex. They tell me frat guys only want one thing. He stopped texting me. I text me. We always hang out in his car. We would make out. We hold hands. He tells me, he likes me. I text him a few days later, he didn’t respond. I am wondering, does he really like me? is he just using me? Should I continue to see him? (more…)
by The Last Honest Guy
Hi, there’s a guy I’ve been dating for almost 5 months now. We have a lot of background, ever since the day we met (almost 3 years now) he’s been interested in me. I was not interested at the time, he ask me to be his girlfriend a couple of times and I said no, in a gentle way. We kept talking, on and off for a period of time. During one of those offs he had a girlfriend with whom he was for only 2 months before she left him to go back to her ex. Months after that we started talking again, we got to know each other in a deeper lever and I decided to date him.
He told me one time, over the phone, he loved me, and asked me to go out for a family dinner. I felt we were moving really fast and said no, (and didn’t reply to his ‘I feel I love you’) after that he got a bit cold. I understood he probably felt I was going to leave him again, thing I didn’t planned on doing.
He started being really cold at times, and extremely interested in others. He was literally driving me nuts so we started getting into a lot of troubles, he told me he was no longer looking for a girlfriend. I figured out I had it deserved for acting like such a bitch sometimes. He continue dating, I knew he had feelings for me because I knew he had told his family and closest friend about us. We started to get intimate, and even though we kept talking like always (every day, all day) he no longer took me on dates or had details with me. I figured out that since he had what all guys are looking for he stopped caring about making a good impression. So I started acting like a bitch again. He had fights and since it did hurt me to feel like he didn’t care I said many times I wanted to end what he had. He always stayed calmed and said he did care, and that I needed to think things clearly. So we kept moving on. He at times acted extremely jealous, he even cried in front of me one time during a fight he thought I was seeing someone else… problem is, yesterday he said he was probably going on a date. I thought he was joking, I still don’t know for sure, he started getting into a fight and I told him I was not going to let that pass, and that it was not fair that he could see other people, he said I could do the same… That night I went out with some of our friends and a picture was taken of me and another guy, by the time I woke up I had many msgs saying that it was obvious that I cared, and that I was all lies and good bye.. he erased me before I had a chance to reply. I don’t know what is going on, if he had just one of those moments I tend to have so many times where I just want to end things because of jealousy, I don’t know if he only used it as an excuse to go out with someone else and not feel bad about it… btw, when we are good, we are great. and I always try to understand also the fact that his two girlfriends have cheated on him, and let go of the fact he may not want a girlfriend because he might have trust issues. I don’t know what to do anymore, I sent him two messages 1 explaining the night/picture, and another one saying I didn’t understand what was going on. Should I give him space or should I just move on already? I do care deeply for him. (more…)
