by The Last Honest Guy
Hello:)
I really need advise on a decision I recently made to break up with my bf after 6 months(knew each other for 1yr) we are both mainly Caucasian and I’m 24 and he’s turning 24 in a few months. When we first met he was so excited to be with me. We broke up a few months ago due to a minor misunderstanding as he has health issues and I was getting on him about it cuz I care and he thought I was criticizing him but I wasn’t…
He begged me to go back out with him and 3 or 4 months later it was our anniversary and I dumped him this time. My reasoning being is the relationship was making me upset. He didn’t show any interest anymore to me of wanting us to last. The romance kinda went out the window. We were at a party and he totally forgot to introduce me around and he blew me off. Another guy came up in front of me and asked my name and made a comment to him about how its his duty and that he should be a better bf. The kid offered me food but I was just so hurt from the embarrassment :'(.
Its just things like that, that makes his words “I love u” seem just like that…words. He doesn’t go out of his way to try and please me like I do him. Then when I dumped him he got upset and said he hasn’t been himself and he’s been stressed out but he never tells me what’s going on. When we were together it got to a point where I had to look at his fb page to see what was up with him. Now that I’ve dumped him I’ve been having a lot of guys leaving stuff on my page about how beautiful I am and wanting me to go out. But I do miss my ex its just I feel so left out and not cherished or loved and I tried multiple times to talk to him about it before I made my decision and it was like talking to a wall. I miss the way things used to be before he was acting all funky. I miss the guy I fell for. He texts me how sorry he is and that he’s a fuck up n he knows it.
When I talked to him on the phone explaining how I feel and telling him what I want he got emotional but my ? Is will he ever wake up? And did I make the right decision letting him go? Did he really want to be with me cuz he loved me or after awhile was it about convenience??? I need to know whether I should forget about him totally and delete him off my friends or what. This whole thing has really put a hurting on me but I’ve been hurt in my past and I refuse to be taken for granted anymore and that’s what I feel like he was doing. Please help :'( (more…)
by The Last Honest Guy
So here’s a brief overview: I was hanging out with this guy for a few months about once a week every week. I say hanging out and not even calling it dating because even though friends asked and everyone else assumed we were dating, it never FELT like dating to me. Long story short, guy can’t figure out what he wants, confuses the hell out of me, and while I knew it wasn’t going anywhere, pulled the whole “I’m going to act vague” bit and refused to just come out and say it wasn’t working out for him. That in turn made me make the choice of choosing friendship.
I don’t hate the guy. Things just don’t work out sometimes, and that’s fine. It wasn’t serious and I didn’t feel deeply invested in him, so I felt fine just being friends. Of course, when I tried to tell him I was choosing friendship regardless of whatever was going on in his head because that was what I needed to do for myself, he didn’t really listen and treated it like I needed things to be re-explained from his point of view (NO I did not), but afterward acted like everything was OK so I just left it alone and went on my merry way and we continued to be friends.
Then all of a sudden right after New Year’s he stopped talking to me entirely. No texts, no e-mails, no calls, nothing. Now, I’m the kind of person where if I get a glimmer that someone doesn’t want anything to do with me, or acts uninterested in anything I have to say, I will back off immediately. I don’t believe in chasing or forcing my company on people. When I suggested maybe hanging out, he didn’t really respond, and that’s when I immediately just let it go. I didn’t tell him it bothered me, I just was like OK never mind and that was that.
In the two-three weeks that followed after he’d ignored my suggestion, he didn’t talk to me at all. And I was like what the hell? It pissed me off for several reasons. Mainly, I was still mad that he could never come out and say things weren’t working with him, so for him to drop all contact without a word just amplified my annoyance. A mutual friend who has known him for years, after listening to me freak out about OMG he hates me blah blah blah, advised that he probably finally decided for himself long after I already had done so that it wasn’t going to work, that he was taking a step back and letting all possibility of a relationship die (um, it was already dead!), and that I should just leave him alone (I’d been tempted to confront him and ask what the deal was). So I did just that. I left him alone.
This past week nearly every day he started talking to me again. Very casual, nothing deep. Mostly a “hey, how are you doing” less-than-2-minute encounter, all via text. Why does he even bother? Do you think my friend’s assessment of his behavior was accurate? And if so, why bother bugging me with small talk after nearly an entire month of not having any communication with me at all? (more…)
by The Last Honest Guy
Today I present you a guest post from a good friend of mine, Chrystal Rose from http://www.xtalrose.com. Together we tackle this question and present you the point of view of both a female and a male.
Female:
Well that’s an easy question: A surprise? No. This is men we‘re talking about here.
Sex is a barometer for a relationship. If you aren’t having any then you have problems bigger than sex. Creating sexual warfare by using it as a weapon is a surefire way to drive a wedge and resentment between you and your partner. Or if you fuck him 5 ways til Sunday only to change your tune when you get what you want– like engaged or married. As a woman you need to understand that what you’re not willing to do—some other woman will be. (more…)
by The Last Honest Guy
I recently started talking to a 30 year old Hispanic guy that is going through a divorce and has two young daughters . He seems very nice and hasn’t said anything bad about his ex other than it sounds like she cheated on him since he mentioned trust issues. She is giving him full custody and the house. I’m keeping an open mind, but I don’t want to be stupid either. I’m worried about several things 1. That the divorce isn’t final, so I’m dating a married man. 2. What if they reconcile. 3. The impact of everything on his children. 4. Being the rebound chick. Some background information about me: I’m single, never married, and no children. I was in a LTR (5 years) with a man in the past that had a child, but was never married. That basically ended b/c he didn’t want to get married or have more children and I realized I do. (more…)
by The Last Honest Guy
Hi,
So I am born and raised in the Philippines and I met this 38 year old guy who is born and raised in Iran. He has been in the US for 9 years during which he has been away from his parents and siblings. We have been dating for 3 weeks now and on the first week, everything was great. His parents arrived from Iran and he even introduced me to them. Then he became busy though we maintain communication each day and we still see each other twice a week. Two nights ago, we had an argument and he said I am childish and immature and that I don’t listen to what he’s saying. After that he completely ignored me and didn’t want to talk. Being the childish person I am, I even asked if he was already breaking up with me and he said “No.” But he stopped texting and calling since then. I messaged him last night on ym just to say hi and good night and he just replied with the same things.
My question is, what do I do now? Are we still dating or is it time to move on like nothing happened? I am so clueless.
Thanks (more…)
by The Last Honest Guy
Hi,
So I’m a 29 female student in professional school and I met a guy through mutual friends 4 months ago. He is 28 and I am 29. We are both American/Caucasian, with graduate degrees, active lifestyles. He lives 400 miles away and was just in town by chance visiting these mutual friends. We really hit it off and he came and visited me again several weeks later when he was in the area (but still a several hours drive away) and then when I was on his side of the state we spent a couple nights together. We have not had sex (but did have some intimate contact). There seemed to be a very strong connection mentally and physically- he called me beautiful, amazing, smart… on multiple occasions, talked about things he loved about me, was super kind to some of my friends I introduced him to.
He also did not pressure me at all for sex—even checked in multiple times to make sure I was ok with the “stuff” we had done previously and told me not to apologize when I said I wasn’t ready to go further- he even said I should not be sorry, he was just happy to be near me. I felt really comfortable and at ease yet hugely attracted to him in a very short period of time (actually he said this exact same thing, and it’s exactly how I felt but I held back on being as expressive about my feelings).
The last night we spent together HE initiated “the talk” and said that he was not ready for a relationship, after I told him I liked him enough to try to make something work. He listed things like just graduating law school, getting a new job, ending a previous long-term relationship a few months before… all true. I think he just wants to date and have fun at the moment- but I was still really sad when he didn’t contact me much after I left- just a few text messages- I did however most of the contacting so I think he figured he didn’t have to do much and I would stay interested. Also I know starting a relationship long distance is not really a great idea- everything just felt so “right” with him. So I decided to try to let it go and stopped contacting him for 2 months- during that time he has begun to contact me more… Can anything be salvaged in the future? I will be in his city for several months this coming summer- under what circumstances should I let him
know I’m in town? (also there is a high probability that we will be living in the same city in a couple years)
I think there was something really special between us, but timing/life circumstances were against us, am I nuts for thinking there could still be something special … Or was I just a failed booty call? Being kept on the back burner? He really liked me but it’s not practical? Do guys forget about a girl they really like? Ok sorry, that’s a lot of questions!
Thanks! (more…)
