I need help! I have met an amazing guy online. We talked for about 2 weeks then, since we live in the same town, we decided to do lunch. We had a great time. For weeks we would spend a good part of the day chatting online. We eventually went out a second time and had a great time. However, he is going through divorce. He has said they are not getting back together.. But the last time we went out he poured his heart out to me over his frustration over her behavior. After that date, he has been distant. We haven’t really chatted online any more. We are friends on facebook so he does respond to some of my emails. I asked if he wanted to hang out and his response has been “I have been busy and a lot on my mind”. On Fridays on facebook he posts that he needs friends to hang with for the nite. I totally understand that. He needs personal time… but some of those friends are girls. He never includes me in “friend” time. It makes me wonder if he still views me as possible more than another gal pal. While we don’t chat (still occasionally sends message on facebook) or hang out anymore, no matter what I post as my facebook status, he “likes” it (not every single one, but I would say about 60-75% of the time. it has also been brought to my attention by a buddy of mine that I have been too clingy toward everyone here lately… even this guy I like…. so I sent him a message explaining how I have realized my clinginess and I didn’t mean to be that way. I need advice on how to know what this guy is thinking, where I stand with him, how to get home comfy enough with me to hang out again because he is the sweetest guy I have ever met and he is a true gentleman. A dream come true…help!!!
Quite honestly I have to break it to you and tell you that this guy is not interested in you at all. Look when a guy is interested in a women he does not turn down her invitation to hang out. That’s the biggest sign of his lack of interest.
You say he’s a complete gentleman and a nice guy and usually this type of male tends to try to turn down women they’re not attracted to in a nice way, i.e. saying things like “I have been busy and a lot on my mind”. What he’s really trying to tell you is:
NO, I don’t want to hang out with you!
I truly believe you’re really reading too much between the lines and the fact that he “likes” the things you write on Facebook doesn’t mean anything. In fact, generally people hit the “like” button on FB when they’re too lazy to write a comment or when they don’t really want to start a conversation with that person. So, that’s actually another sign that he doesn’t want anything to do with you.
You also know that he’s really not that “busy” as he claims to be since he’s constantly looking people other than you to hang out with.
My advice to you is to leave him alone and not make yourself seem so desperate for his attention. Who knows, maybe when he stops getting your attention it will suddenly spark an interest in you again. Stay around him, but in a normal way. Don’t push yourself on to him. Sometimes a man needs a challenge to be interested and you’re not a challenge at all at this point.
