Mixed

Hi, I’ve known this guy for years, and recently we’ve started talking a lot more. We’ve both liked each other at different times in the past, but the timing was never right. Now, it feels different, but I can’t tell if he’s just being friendly or if he wants more, especially given our ten-year friendship. He recently bought me flowers, and last night he called me gorgeous, saying he’s always thought so. But he hasn’t asked me out, and I’m unsure of his intentions. It’s been a while since I dated anyone, and I’ve never dated a friend, so I’m confused. Any advice? Thanks!

The ten-year friendship?

Forget about it for a second. If a guy is buying you flowers and calling you “gorgeous,” trust me—he’s not just trying to be friendly. Guys don’t pull out the compliments and flowers routine for someone they only see as a buddy. He’s trying to make it clear he’s into you, but he’s playing it cautious because he has been in the friend zone for so long. He’s testing the waters here, giving you these big signals without diving in headfirst, hoping you’ll pick up what he’s putting down.

He hasn’t made a move because he’s probably worried about wrecking what you two have if it doesn’t go his way. But here’s the reality: if he liked you back then, he likes you now. Guys don’t just drop those feelings, especially when they’ve been low-key carrying a torch for you all these years. So if you’re even a little bit interested, start giving him a sign. Lean into the flirting, make it obvious you’re open to more than just friendship. That way, he knows it’s safe to ask you out without thinking he’s about to nuke a decade of friendship.

Bottom line?

Stop overthinking it. If you’re into him, show it. And if you’re not, then put it out there so he doesn’t waste his time. But don’t sit there confused when he’s all but waving a neon sign saying he’s interested. Make a move or give him the green light to make his.

Canadian

I’m in a relationship that’s become completely sexless, and I’m at my breaking point. My boyfriend and I have been together since April 2022, and while things started off with mutual attraction, our sex life quickly fizzled out. After our first amazing time together, we went six weeks without intimacy. When I brought it up, he brushed it off as just ‘the way he is.’ But the gaps kept growing. We went seven months without sex, and despite my telling him I need more frequency, nothing’s changed.

I’ve tried everything he suggested to spark his interest, but nothing works, and he keeps finding excuses. It feels like he’s just staying with me for a place to live. I’ve even offered to let him stay as friends, but he insists he loves me. I’m frustrated and exhausted by the mixed signals. What should I do?

Alright, here’s the hard truth:

you’re in a relationship with a guy who just doesn’t prioritize sex, and for someone with a high sex drive like yours, that’s a problem. You’ve done the work here—you’ve communicated, tried his suggestions, and made it clear what you need to be happy. He’s given you nothing but more of the same empty promises and excuses. This pattern—promising change but delivering nothing—speaks louder than any words.

Here’s the deal:

relationships are a two-way street, and both partners need to have their needs met. It’s pretty clear he’s not willing (or able) to meet yours in this department, and it’s causing you real frustration and resentment. You’ve already offered him a fair solution—staying friends and letting him keep his place, so you’re not forcing him out on the street. He’s holding onto the relationship because it’s convenient, not because he’s putting in the work to keep you fulfilled.

Now, let’s address the elephant in the room. There’s a real possibility that he could be gay. Sometimes, men of a certain age have made a quiet decision to never come out and might not ever admit it, even to themselves. If you’re curious and want to know for sure, try fishing for hints. One way to test it? Suggest a threesome. If he’s open to the idea of two guys and you, that’s a big sign. Most straight guys would be more interested in two women than the other way around.

Bottom line?

You deserve someone who’s as into you as you are into them—someone who shows up for the relationship in all ways. If he’s not giving you what you need, it’s time to decide if you’re willing to keep waiting or if you’re ready to move on and find someone who matches your energy and desires. Don’t settle for excuses when you deserve effort.