Q:

Hi, so there’s this guy that messages me and initiates most of our conversations. He is really nice to me, respectful, and a sweetheart. I’m just not sure if he wants to date or I’m not sure? I ask him to go out and have lunch and he’s always busy. I flirt with him too, and he continues our Snapchat or IG conversations. But he will ask me how am I? Or if I’m okay after my night out, to get home safe, Or how my day has been? He said that both our schedules are the opposite so then I tried to back off but he’ll just continue sending me snaps of just music playing… When I first talked to him he said he was shy, at this point I think he may just want to be friends or I’m not sure but I’m like… okay time to move on…. or should I? I like him, he’s great to message with and he’s a nice guy, I like his personality, he seems caring. I’ve never received an essay message from a guy telling me why I’m better than those people who tried to put me down but he did. What should I do? Move on or have patience? He’s been messaging since mid-February, and his first msg was about this karaoke place I love.

A:

First of all, if you guys have only been messaging through social media, then the length of this “relationship” is irrelevant because online relationships are much slower than when you meet someone IRL (IN Real Life).

Also, the fact that he only talks to you on a daily basis but hasn’t attempted to make a move, is a red flag. My gut feeling is that this guy is currently in an unhappy relationship and it’s just seeking companionship. He probably doesn’t want to tell you his truth because he’s afraid you might not want to talk to him or be as interested if he tells you he’s in a relationship with someone else. He probably knows that eventually he will be single again and wants to have a head start with the next potential relationship.

My advice is to be straightforward with him and really find out the truth. It’s ok to ask him about his relationship status and seek evidence. Don’t be afraid to put him on the spot when you get a chance.

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