Canadian

I’m in a relationship that’s become completely sexless, and I’m at my breaking point. My boyfriend and I have been together since April 2022, and while things started off with mutual attraction, our sex life quickly fizzled out. After our first amazing time together, we went six weeks without intimacy. When I brought it up, he brushed it off as just ‘the way he is.’ But the gaps kept growing. We went seven months without sex, and despite my telling him I need more frequency, nothing’s changed.

I’ve tried everything he suggested to spark his interest, but nothing works, and he keeps finding excuses. It feels like he’s just staying with me for a place to live. I’ve even offered to let him stay as friends, but he insists he loves me. I’m frustrated and exhausted by the mixed signals. What should I do?

Alright, here’s the hard truth:

you’re in a relationship with a guy who just doesn’t prioritize sex, and for someone with a high sex drive like yours, that’s a problem. You’ve done the work here—you’ve communicated, tried his suggestions, and made it clear what you need to be happy. He’s given you nothing but more of the same empty promises and excuses. This pattern—promising change but delivering nothing—speaks louder than any words.

Here’s the deal:

relationships are a two-way street, and both partners need to have their needs met. It’s pretty clear he’s not willing (or able) to meet yours in this department, and it’s causing you real frustration and resentment. You’ve already offered him a fair solution—staying friends and letting him keep his place, so you’re not forcing him out on the street. He’s holding onto the relationship because it’s convenient, not because he’s putting in the work to keep you fulfilled.

Now, let’s address the elephant in the room. There’s a real possibility that he could be gay. Sometimes, men of a certain age have made a quiet decision to never come out and might not ever admit it, even to themselves. If you’re curious and want to know for sure, try fishing for hints. One way to test it? Suggest a threesome. If he’s open to the idea of two guys and you, that’s a big sign. Most straight guys would be more interested in two women than the other way around.

Bottom line?

You deserve someone who’s as into you as you are into them—someone who shows up for the relationship in all ways. If he’s not giving you what you need, it’s time to decide if you’re willing to keep waiting or if you’re ready to move on and find someone who matches your energy and desires. Don’t settle for excuses when you deserve effort.