by The Last Honest Guy
I feel like since birth I’ve been raised with all of these preconceived notions about men, love and relationships in general. I really wish there was some way to either prove or debunk a lot of these, because I feel like it’s these preconceived ideas that really get in the way of a lot of us and our search/path/journey/whatever to finding that one compatible person, where it’s not only their desirable characteristics and things in common that make them so right for us, but also how their flaws fit together with our own.
What I don’t understand is, while I try not to place too much stock in those preconceived notions of the opposite sex, I find myself getting really frustrated when playing the dating game. It feels like it’s practically impossible these days to grab a guy’s attention without being overly flirtatious and getting all up on him physically. I am somewhat shy and reserved, but I do like engaging new people in conversation. I don’t want to hang all over a guy I just met 5 minutes ago, because A) it makes me uncomfortable being touched a lot by people I don’t know, so I tend to assume others feel the same way and B) I’m not confident enough to assume someone I barely know even wants to be touched by me anyway. Are men really as simple as all my guy friends claim to be: “We’re only concerned with three things: food, sex and sleep. It’s YOU women that worry about everything else!”
My question ultimately is this: what is it that truly attracts men? I’ve always been told to be myself and be confident, but sometimes I feel like it’s not enough. Do men in general like it when women hang all over them, or flirt heavily with them? Do guys ever notice that shy one hanging back a little? Or if you ARE shy, do men just tend to perceive you as being frigid? To me, being shy doesn’t necessarily equate to lacking confidence. Some people are just more reserved than others. I just get frustrated when I feel like in order to get someone’s attention these days, I have to throw myself at them or risk being overlooked. (more…)
by The Last Honest Guy
Hi I just started dating a gentleman who I met in June 2010 and just started to date in January 2011. He is 33years old African American. we were friends first and just started to date. So my question is.. I’m I or are we obligated to give gifts on valentines day? (more…)
by The Last Honest Guy
Dear last honest guy,
My husband and I have been married for three years and our each others firsts for many things and high school sweethearts. He joined the air force right out of high school in 2007 and we ended up stationed in Montana married at 18 & 19 years old. I joined also in January of 2010 but we are now going through a divorce because while I was away, he committed adultery with a 17 year old high school drop out and was actually discharged from the air force for it. He lied to me about the discharge reason but once I knew the truth, there was no turning back.
There’s more to it than that though… he has very bad anger issues since joining and landing in security forces which is what he wanted by the way. I’ve never seen him so angry until we moved to Montana and then he was just pessimistic about everything. He was a very spoiled husband. I took care of the finances and cooked… did all my wifely duties and had a career in the air force wanting to go for officer. He just kind of existed until I left for training and he had to fend for himself. He’s always had friends younger than him. And when I say younger I mean high school kids while he’s 22. I have my issues too… I got upset easily if he over drafted our accounts or ran up cards and such. But he always had this way of making me feel like a criminal for accidents. For instance, if I were to hurt myself I never received a “honey are you alright?” It was always “dammit. What did you do now.” I sometimes wonder if he really thought that when I woke up in the mornings I pondered about how I could piss him off that day.
Anyway…
It’s been a month and a half since our separation now and 3 months since his discharge. I’m still in Montana and he had his mother fly him home to Florida where he still has no job, no money and he is living with his parents. He was very resentful towards me when he left and for a while did not talk to me and would contact my supervision demanding that I send him money and my wedding rings back. He is also on several dating sites and has been portraying me as crazy and that he’s completely divorced and ready to find someone positive.
I’ve been pretty content with my new life so far and am awaiting a court date to make things final. But recently before our 3rd year anniversary on December 23rd, he began contacting me. He would act cute and lovey like how he did when we were together and if I told him to stop because it wasn’t normal, he would do it anyway. At one point I asked him if he still loved me or something but he told me he wasn’t sure and that he was battling his emotions. He did however still wish me happy anniversary and even asked to be my new years kiss over a phone call… A week later he was telling me he missed me and loved me and tried to get me to fly him back here which I refused to do. He has also expressed a great deal of desire towards my body and sex and whatnot. And honestly I think he’s just not getting laid in Florida and is trying to get with me when I visit family this July.
He tells me he wants to be friends but what he’s doing in regards to the old comforts of affection that we once shared with each other is not normal. And sorry… but I’m no security blanket to someone who wants to play single or guess the std. I’m now being told from mutual friends that he is telling people that even though we are getting divorced, he and I are staying boyfriend and girlfriend. I’m a little annoyed… and though I’ve expressed it time and time again he still acts delusional. I don’t understand why he is doing this. Because he still asks about how the divorce process is going.
I’m the type of person who takes marriage seriously. I was monogamous with this man for almost 5 years and he’s done more damage to our relationship than I care to share here… but to make it short, his adultery was not the first time therefore I wasn’t going to take it anymore. I have gone out on several non committed dates with a nice man here who is recently divorced and just wanting to talk. However, I’ve made it clear that once my divorce is final I am giving myself one full year free from dating and men so I can live for me for once. I don’t know what to do about my husband… I’ve told him that when
the divorce is final he will never have another chance with me and I will most certainly not humor the idea of friendship. I will drop off the face of the planet to him. But like always, he thinks he’s too irresistible for me to do this.
I’m just lost. The man I planned on sharing the rest of my life with has gone loopy on me. It went from rage to lovey in a month. And I have done my best to stay serious when he tries to act adorable but at the beginning I’m not going to lie I would also give in and act lovey to him. But I started putting two and two together and the what ifs started forming. I’m not on board with this second chance in the future he keeps babbling about. But I want to know- is he serious? Or am I really just the security blanket? I won’t be an enabler and I won’t be used for affection just because nobody finds him interesting. And those who do turn out to be just like all the other immature girls he’s so used to attracting. I want to know why he seems so interested in me… I think it’s a phase he will get over. But he assures me it isn’t. (more…)
by The Last Honest Guy
Well, Valentine’s Day is around the corner and you don’t know what to buy your boyfriend, husband, guy you like or significant other, right?
Luckily it doesn’t have to be such a hard decision this year because I’ve taken the time to make a list of 10 pretty unique Valentine’s Gifts for Him. In this list you will find gift ideas that range from just a few dollars to some that cost a couple of hundred. Only you can make the decision on what fits for your specific relationship.
I will also give you a current price, a short description of the item and an explanation of why this is a good choice of a gift for a guy. This will certainly cut down your research time and the headache of taking the time of doing it yourself. I know, you can thank me later.
So, lets start! (more…)
by The Last Honest Guy
So I’ve met this guy on an online dating site. He’s 2 years older than me (I’m 18). We started texting this year September, we met up a month later but he left me waiting outside in the cold for an hour and we did it in the back of his car for 10 minutes before he left back to work. Know that I traveled 45 minutes to get to where he was. So I told him I never wanted to see him again (I told him that losing my virginity might have been better than that encounter), he retorts that my head wasn’t even that great. Anyhow just before New Years he starts texting me again, I really did think at first that it was just all an attempt for him to get laid despite his comments of just wanting me for himself. How he wants me to be his wifey/shorty. I got to meet him on New Years Eve and we had sex. It was amazing and afterward he texted me saying that hes my boyfriend now or wtv. Later on the week he wanted me to go all the way to his house or back to my friend’s apartment which I couldn’t do because I was really busy. He got really mad at me and just said forget it. Then my phone suffered liquid damage so I emailed him about it and he didn’t say anything. I called him up and asked to meet up and he was like I’ll IM you instead.
1) He never did
2) I’m feeling like a sadist right now, it seems like I need a hard phone call from reality
Honest guy, if I did knew this guy was sketchy (he barely wanted to tell me his last name), why would I do something like this? What is this guy’s deal? Is he messed in the head or he’s just a player? I just want to know for the future so I can move away from the losers. Or did I just play my cards wrong? Was I emotionally slutty? (more…)
