by The Last Honest Guy
I have some serious relationship issues and it seems my head and my heart can’t work together on this one. I am very inexperienced when it comes to relationships only having 2 serious ones in my life, and the man I’m with now is the father of my son and was my first “real” boyfriend. We met when i was 20 years old and were only dating for about 2 months when I found out I was pregnant. He left shortly thereafter to get back together with his ex. They broke up less than a year later, and a month after that he was with someone else. He has never been single for more than 6 months since he was 14. During the time we were separated, I had a 9 month relationship with another man, whom I ended up leaving to be with him.
We moved fast (again) and ended up moving in together after only about 2 months of dating. I moved 2 hours away from my family (whom helped me raise my son to that point) to be with him, and he already lives 5 hours away from his family.
We constantly fight about where our future is going to take us. He told me before I moved with him, that he would do anything to be with me and that if I came to live with him for a while he would do everything he could to keep me and that meant finding a job closer to my home so i can go back to school.
We both have no family where we are living now and I plan on attending Medical school to become an OBGYN. I want my son to be close to family like i was, but he feels that it’s not fair that he be close to my family and not his so he wants to stay where we are since it’s in the middle. I am very very close to my family and it hurts me to be this far away. He also doesn’t get along very well with my family. He doesn’t seem to want to make any attempt to get to know them or be close to them. Whenever I go home for a visit, he never comes with me or if he does he just complains. This is the biggest issue, besides the normal, he doesn’t tell me I’m beautiful, not affectionate enough blah blah blah.
But now, I did something I am completely ashamed of and swore to never do…I made a comment to my son about him. We were fighting on the phone and I was crying, and my son, who is almost 4, asked if I was crying and who I was talking to. I replied “yes I’m crying. I’m talking to your dad. He’s the only one that makes me cry.” Although the statement is completely true, I can admit my wrong doing that I should never bring my son into our arguments and I have always sworn that I wouldn’t but I did this time, and he became furious and hung up on me, and giving me the silent treatment for 3 days. I apologized for saying what I did when we finally talked and he said that he was so angry he didn’t know if he wanted to be with me anymore. He started bringing up other things basically trying to point fingers at me about our relationship not working out, and I shot back with things he’s done and reasons why I may have done what I did and so on and so forth.
In the end, I told him I would leave if he was questioning our love. You either love someone or you don’t right? And I figure if he didn’t know whether he loved me, there was no sense in staying. So I made the decision to leave, once I was finished my current schooling. That night, we talked and he said things he had NEVER said before. He wooed me for the first time in months and looked me in my eyes and told me he was tired of “trying” to make our relationship work and that he was gonna DO it this time. He held me like he hadn’t in a long time and told me I was beautiful and how much he loved me and he didn’t want to lose me or our son. I won’t lie, I melted. I told him I can’t make promises but I would stay. I was still skeptical, only because I feel like he had said similar things before. So now my real dilemma, the day after we made up, I went through his phone and found that he had messaged a girl that we both knew and was making sexual comments towards her. She had invited him to a going away party and he responded by saying “I have to work that day, so I’ll have to please you another time” and that she “was gonna get it.” When I confronted him, he tried to play it like he was joking at first, but when I made it clear that it was inappropriate, and how would he feel if I was saying things like that to another man, he went on saying, that he didn’t know what was going on with us and that it was no big deal and it wasn’t her fault (which I totally agree with) and that he was just trying to get revenge on me for saying what I did to our son and trying to hurt me. I have never been so angry. I wanted to physically hurt him and I am not an angry person. I couldn’t believe that he had done this just because we weren’t getting along. So needless to say, I slept on the couch that night feeling disgusted and he barely showed any remorse for the fact that I was crying for hours by myself. The next day he kept apologizing saying he didn’t know why he did it (yet he told me why he did). Since then we haven’t talked. He has apologized a couple of times but I just feel so horrible and every time I think about him talking to this other woman like that, I just get knots in my stomach and think I’m the biggest idiot in the world for even thinking about staying, but at the same time, I want to believe him but I know I won’t trust him the same. I don’t know what to do or if our relationship is worth saving. Please help me! (more…)
by The Last Honest Guy
I just met guy a few weeks ago. Hes 12 yrs older then me by the way. We both seem pretty similar. Were looking for the same qualities and traits in a partner. He’s old fashion as far as how a relationship should operate. He believes the man should where the pants in the relationship and have the last say so and a woman should know her place. Cant say I disagree with him. I’m pretty much submissive and like a man who takes charge. Now the only thing I have found disturbing is he said if woman cheats on him or lays a finger on him he ll put his hands on her. I asked if he was serious and he said yes. That he wanted to be upfront about because he didn’t want to be called a liar. He said she doesn’t get mad easily. And little things don’t set him off. Now do I respect his honesty and keep pursuing him or run for the hills? (more…)
by The Last Honest Guy
I am 13yrs old, and a Caucasian female.
He is 13yrs old, a Caucasian male.
My best guy friend and I have known each other forever. We dated 7 months ago, but it didn’t last long. It has never been awkward between us.
We talk about everything, and tell each other everything. We have pretty much no secrets. He has told me he likes another girl, but he doesn’t act like it.
He always puts his arm around me and hugs me and holds my hand in class, even though we are not dating. We’re always staring at each other in class. All our classmates and even our teachers think we are dating, but we aren’t.
He only acts this way with me, not with the girl he likes. With the girl he says he likes, he barely talks to her or looks at her. He is NOT a shy person at all.
He recently sent me a marriage request on facebook, and I accepted. He is always telling me about how he always wants to be with me, watch movies together, and he wants to see me right in the morning and right before I go to bed, without makeup on and looking like a mess.
I like him more than a friend, and he knows that, but he has been acting this way for quite some time.
Does he like me back? (more…)
by The Last Honest Guy
Why does he only call me CUTE?
Q:
After dating my BF (who is a year older than I) for about 3 years, I took a job 350 miles away.
As a bit of background, I was married for about 11 years and left my ex-husband in a very messy divorce.
My BF and I had ups and downs when I first left but decided to let the relationship be what it is. We see each other occasionally (he travels to me, I travel to him). He takes care of his elderly mother (admirable.. the kind of guy you want!) and I know he loves me a lot.
I am a very busy independent person who has a professional career and a son in high school so I don’t sit around waiting.
The problem is, despite the way I feel about him, I wonder if I should give up on this relationship? I enjoy my time with him and he has told me if it weren’t for his mother he would have made the move with me.
We are not getting any younger… am I just being impatient?
I have a pretty good idea of what I am looking for in a relationship and just about all of it exists with him. As I said, this isn’t some internet thing, we basically lived together when we were in the same town. As for me moving back, that isn’t an option at this point either…
(more…)
by The Last Honest Guy
Ok here’s what happened. I dated this guy who’s 39 for about 5 months since last November and he’s an expat who’s been around for 3 years and wouldn’t leave for another 1.5 year. So we met, we got besotted (he more than I did), we got together and things were going fine except for a couple of glitches which I’ll talk more later. I met him online from a dating site and after we decided to be serious, we both suspended the account and things were good. We have loads in common, enjoys the same stuff in life, had really healthy relationship with good sex, good space apart, good communication (talk once a day). Things are so mature and healthy that all my friends think it might be it. Then a couple of weeks ago, we had a fight of sort. He was having a really hard time at work for weeks and I was playing the whole supporting gf thing, bringing him food for dinner when we meet up during week days (he didn’t like hanging out at mine so I went to his every single time) and all the nice stuff like getting him little small gifts to perk up his day. He had always been nice too so it wasn’t like a one way thing where I keep doing all the nice things. But the couple of weeks of doing things for him made me quite tired and I wasn’t too happy that I was always bringing food over and traveling to his place etc.
So one Saturday, I, again, brought food over and he was in a good mood that day cos the busy period was kinda over. And when I got to his place, I was feeling kinda neglected like he took things for granted so I was rather grumpy. And looking at me grumpy, he said to me that if I wasn’t up for dinner with him and his friends that night, I didn’t have to go. And I kinda went a bit upset and said “What? So what do you want me to do? Go home?” and he SNAPPED! Started saying how I should just leave and go home cos I was passing him the bad vibes cos he was in a good mood before and I came and got grumpy and upset him.
I was shocked! Cos I totally didn’t expect that from him and it was the first time I actually got asked to leave a place aka got kicked out. So I was in tears cos I was upset but I told him that I’ve been feeling that I wasn’t appreciated and I said it nicely despite the tears and even apologized for being grumpy etc. But no, he said I must grab my stuff and leave cos I’m not welcomed. So yes, I got shoved out of the house while I was crying. He said to talk when we’re both calm and send him an email or something. I did and even a text but he didn’t even reply me the next day. Not even to acknowledge that he got my mail or text. So when I called him, he said he’s not angry anymore but he’s thinking through things and will call me in the week later.
So I waited for 4 days and no sound from him and I texted him to say if he’s still mad. He replied he wasn’t and if I wanna go meet him over dinner. I felt odd and said if he’s gonna call it quits, he didn’t have to meet me to do it. And he said actually it was about him deciding to leave the country and move elsewhere. So I called him and we spoke and he said he’s decided to leave the country so we both agreed it’s silly to carry on and we split.
Now I’m puzzled cos just the night before, he said he wouldn’t leave for another year and a half despite not being very happy here. And then one fight later, he said he’s leaving??? And his angry outburst?
I mean I can understand if I ruined his mood when things were finally ok at work but it was a bit harsh to shove me out of the door no? And to actually not reply me that he got my email or text? And then suddenly, he’s leaving?
And despite the fact that I said I could still be his friends and we can email and text, I probably shouldn’t see him for a bit. But you know what? I just didn’t hear back from him since. Like WTF?
So I have no idea what the hell happened cos it’s all a bit shocking (the shoving me out of the door thing) and sudden (the oh I’m leaving the country thing). And things were all picture perfect before and I was meeting all his friends, being part of his everything. and yes, we had an awesome sex life. So what happened????
Here’s a bit of detail I promised: when we got together, I said we should both get off the internet dating and suspend our profile. But he didn’t for the longest of time yet he said he would. And it became a bit of an issue cos he said he would but he kept dragging it and we had a fight over it. But he did in the end and we were ok after. And I went online to see if he’s back on now but he isn’t, so it’s not like he’s back online looking for fresh meat. So I have no freaking idea what happened.
Sounds complicated right? Pleeeaase enlighten me!!!! I feel as if I’ve died an unknown death! Argh 🙁 and I really like him, like a LOT (more…)
