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Why does he only call me CUTE?
Q:
After dating my BF (who is a year older than I) for about 3 years, I took a job 350 miles away.
As a bit of background, I was married for about 11 years and left my ex-husband in a very messy divorce.
My BF and I had ups and downs when I first left but decided to let the relationship be what it is. We see each other occasionally (he travels to me, I travel to him). He takes care of his elderly mother (admirable.. the kind of guy you want!) and I know he loves me a lot.
I am a very busy independent person who has a professional career and a son in high school so I don’t sit around waiting.
The problem is, despite the way I feel about him, I wonder if I should give up on this relationship? I enjoy my time with him and he has told me if it weren’t for his mother he would have made the move with me.
We are not getting any younger… am I just being impatient?
I have a pretty good idea of what I am looking for in a relationship and just about all of it exists with him. As I said, this isn’t some internet thing, we basically lived together when we were in the same town. As for me moving back, that isn’t an option at this point either…
A:
It’s clear to me that your career is way more important than your relationship with this guy. You already made the decision to move 350 miles away and that tells me that you’re only with him because you’re too afraid to just ends things. I understand that there’s nothing “wrong” with him and that makes it harder, but deep down I know that if he was a lot more important than anything else in your life, you would’ve declined the job and looked for something a lot closer.
My advice is to open up your options and perhaps ask him if he’s willing to be in an “open relationship”. This type of relationship allows both of you guys to meet new people but at the same time enjoy each other’s company when its feasible.
If someone better and closer to you comes a long, then you’re straight forward with him and end the relationship permanently.
At the same time, if his situation changes and he’s able to move closer to you in the future, you would then be able to continue where you left off.
I hope that helps.
The Last Honest Guy
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I think I would have a problem if he’s referring to his ex as hot, gorgeous or beautiful in front of me and his friends, and only calling ME cute. I mean, if he’s dating down and he’s basically saying it in my face, I would get pissed off and I would say something about it. True, maybe I’m not as hot as his ex, but why in the world would he refer to his ex as beautiful in front of me, when he knows he’s never even near called me that? It’s stupid and this is the kind of stupidity that gets men in trouble. I know you have a need to stick to your “pack”, dude, but at least try to make sense.
I agree. Personally I think beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. The beauty measure is not the one on the beauty contest as to how perfect the face structure is or how fair you are or how artistic your eye brow is. My ex & literally all the other guys and girls & I believe I am beautiful but my boyfriend doesn’t say that at all but he called his ex beautiful plenty times. It does make me feel low & when I confronted him, he says he did not say that I am not beautiful and he does not judge people on beauty. But his answer didn’t even help.
You deserve to be called & told you are beautiful, especially by your boyfriend.
What if he’s being honest in his opinion of you? Why should he call you something if he doesn’t believe it himself?Would you rather he lied about what he thinks of you? If you don’t like it, find another boyfriend who sees you the way you want to be called, beautiful, etc. He may like that you’re cute, maybe that’s something unique for him to describe your personality and why he finds you attractive. Personally I prefer guys who are “cute” over all other descriptions, so maybe he is like that.
Excusing that kind of behavior is ridiculous, specially coming from a woman. Being a doormat is never something admirable. You start putting up with ish like that, 5 years later you’re wondering why you wasted precious time with the douchebag beside you. Have some dignity, if he considers his ex hot and you’re only merely “cute” to
him, time to leave the POS. I wouldn’t be subjected to that ish just to keep d*ck beside me.
Oh my God you are an a-hole. If the guy doesn’t think she is a 10 and she is honestly a “5” (like you are insinuating) why the F is he even with her? And what is he? Is he a 10? Just pick a new “beautiful” girl and set this one free. Don’t do us any favors. So thanks for answering my question. My guys says, “You are gorgeous you are cute” out of the blue the other day. We are engaged and together 4.5 years. Once the honeymoon is over the truth comes out and he just wasted years of my life. And yes, his gf before me who he supposedly hates, has Beautiful written on her fb page as do a few other of his exes and random women. “But I am with you honey”. Gee thanks.
Go date your ex; douchebag. And not saying he is not being honest. Obviously he is and I MUST be a 5. But why wait until now to tell me? Because yes I want to spend my life with a guy who doesn’t think I am pretty as his fat ex gf.
Most people lie about almost everything under the sun but this he is honest about??
The one time I might want him to lie to me he tells the truth. And I am supposed to feel sexy in the bedroom now? You all wonder why we lose our self esteems. However, luckily I disagree with him. I just need to find someone who does find me pretty. I have exes also who did. I just don’t play with them on FB.
Because Christina he shouldn’t be with her then if he feels the need to let her know his ex was beautiful but she is not. That’s why.