by The Last Honest Guy
My boyfriend and I are in college and have been dating a while now. Last January on New Years he told me he loved me for the first time. Then 3 days later, he broke up with me for no reason out of the blue. He then got back together with his ex girlfriend a month later. They were broken up within another month and after weeks of playing hard to get I gave in and we are now together again.
Over the past couple months things have been changing. When we used to have little arguments and I would get upset or cry he would completely drop the argument and apologize for making me upset. Now he just yells and tells me he doesn’t want to talk to me. He used to send me the sweetest text messages saying how much he loved me and how much I meant to him. Our texts now usually read “hey what are you doing, oh ok, haha, yeah, just boring stuff). A month ago we got in a huge fight because his ex girlfriend won’t stop texting him despite the fact that he has told her to leave him alone. I got really upset and mad, which made him mad and he ended up yelling at me and telling me to get out of his apartment and go home. The next day before I left to go on a girls vacation trip for the weekend I went to tell him bye. We were fine, sweet, smiley, and in love. As soon as I got out of town, things changed. He started ignoring me and told me that he was confused right now because we had been arguing so much. He said he didn’t know if he still wanted to date me or not and he needed time to think about it. He wouldn’t tell me he loved me, call, text, or anything the entire time I was on my trip. The second I got home, everything was fine and he didn’t even want to talk about it he just wanted to act like it never happened.
Last night it was his birthday and my first time meeting a lot of his friends from home. We were PERFECT. all lovey dovey and he kept telling me how in love he was with me. Later on in the night I ended up getting a little too drunk. I used the word “cunt” to describe one of my sorority sisters and yelled his name really loud at 3am because I could not find him. Then I got sick. He took care of me and was so helpful. This morning, he texts me and says “is it just me or does it feel like were not even dating” …We haven’t seen each other in a couple weeks because we have been home on Christmas break. We usually see each other every day. Of course I freaked out as he told me he was confused about us right now and needed time to think. He said that he saw a “redneck” side of me he’s never seen before and didn’t like. He said it was giving him second thoughts about dating me and was very unattractive. He also uninvited me to his birthday dinner with his family. Just like when I was on my girls trip, he’s once again saying he’s confused about us and needs time to clear his head.
How in the world am I supposed to handle this? This is the second time he’s been “confused” and I don’t think its fair that he changes his mind every other weekend. What should I do? What should I say to him? We haven’t broken up and he tells me all the time he could never break up with me because he’s so deeply in love with me, but why is he doing this? I’m so in the dark and I can’t stop crying. I’m not 100% sure we will break up and judging by last time I doubt we will but why does he keep doing this? Please help me I need real advice not what I want to hear. (more…)
by The Last Honest Guy
Dear the last honest guy,
I dated my ex for almost a year and everything seemed great. Then out of the blue he phones me and dumps me. He didn’t even have a reason prepared! Then later he texts me and blames everything on me. Then he insults me by saying ” I should’ve dumped you a long time ago”. Callous much? I was a good girlfriend and never cheated, even though I had plenty of opportunity. How could someone who used to love me be so heartless? How cruel can you get? Kind of wish I cheated now. (more…)
by The Last Honest Guy
A couple of weeks into the school year, a boy 2 years older than me and in my study hall asked around and found out my name and then contacted me on Facebook saying he was trying to get to know more Freshman. Right away he started telling me how pretty I was and how he thought he’d really like me a lot if he got to know me better, but asked me to keep quiet about what he was saying (he has a girlfriend of 2 years).
About a month later he broke up with his girlfriend and offered me his cell phone number and told me to call him if I wanted to so I gave him mine too. Over the next few weeks, he texted me for 2-3 hours almost every day continuing to say how pretty I am, how I seem cool, asking me to come to his football games, etc.
That went on for a few weeks and one Friday night when we were texting he told me he wanted to hang out with me some weekend, but we both had a lot going on for a few weeks so no plans were made. The following Monday he updated his Facebook status to in a relationship with his ex again.
Before they got back together he was staring at me constantly and smiling and wouldn’t look away when I would catch him. Once he got back with his ex, all contact stopped and he started looking away when I would catch him looking at me at school.
The no contact lasted for about 2.5 weeks. I texted him one night last week because a friend of mine wanted his cell number to ask him a question about a class they have together and I wanted to make sure it was ok with him to give it to her. He replied back yes and then started texting me like crazy because he found out that I like him, which makes me think he didn’t think I liked him and that’s why he went back with his ex. He was going crazy in his texts saying how he hated himself for going back to his ex because he could have been dating me the whole time and telling me I was beautiful and even texting me at midnight to say sweet dreams.
That went on for 2 days. He left school early the 2nd day and texted me as soon as school let out to say “Hi” and tell me he wished he could have seen me that day. He kept repeating how much he wants to date me so I told him that he needed to make a decision between me and his girlfriend and that I wasn’t going to wait around long for him. He told me he knew and that he was sorry and that he would make a decision soon, but he never came right out and said he’d break up with her and even said he didn’t know when I asked him right out. He then changed the subject and we continued to text for another hour.
I have not heard from him again since. He still stares at me constantly and does things to try and get my attention and then stares and smiles at me, but he has yet to actually speak to me in person. Part of him not talking to me in person might be because I’ve heard that his girlfriend gets really jealous whenever he talks to any other girl and they get into a big fight.
Is there any chance that this guy is going to break up with his girlfriend again and give us a chance? I don’t plan on waiting around for him and won’t date him or make initial contact while he’s still with her, but I have no interest in anyone else right now either so it makes it difficult to forget about him.
Thanks! (more…)
by The Last Honest Guy
Okay I have read your advice and I know you say to look for someone with the qualities that you want not make someone into what you want. Also you say to look for someone who likes doing the things you want (I assume like bringing flowers, saying compliments) instead of trying to force that on someone. What I can’t help but feel is, when a guy automatically does these things (typical nice guy) he would just do them for any girl and it makes us feel less special. I’m actually seeing a really nice guy right now but I just don’t feel special to him. I just feel like he’s overly nice and would be overly nice to
anyone he dates. Is it wrong to feel this way? Is it right to believe that we’re not really special to the nice guys?
Deep inside I guess I want a guy who doesn’t just do these things by nature for every girl he dates, he specifically does them for me. How do I date him and still feel special? Or how do I know that he does think I am special? (more…)
by The Last Honest Guy
Dear Last Honest Guy,
So I met this guy at a friend’s party on a Friday night. Never really noticed him as I was mingling with everybody. The following Tuesday he added me on facebook. When I accepted his friend request, he initiated a conversation on Facebook. Then he asked me out. Went out with him coz we had such an interesting conversation. We had a nice time. He asked me several times after that but I had other things to do. Then he left for Boston for a few days but he kept in touch with me. He asked me out again for when he gets back. We met at another friend’s party and we were supposed to go out that night but at the party he said he lost his phone. Anyway, I went back to my apartment since I really wasn’t sure if we were going out or what. He caught me again on facebook and said he waited for me but because there was no definite arrangement he knew he had to get online. He had to weather the cold to do so and I think wow, he must be into me to go through all that. (We can’t leave the party together.. as we both agreed it would not be in our best interest if our friends know that we are going out. There are a lot of things — race, religion, etc that complicates the whole set up. But this isn’t really what I want to ask about). (more…)
