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Q:

This may be a silly question but after reading your response to ” how long should I wait” I felt more compelled to ask it.. My sexual history is somewhat colorful… I made a lot of very poor choices very early on, my very first boyfriend I only made wait a month, mostly because I was young and he was substantially older than me and I felt pressure, from that point on I continued to be frivolous with my body and never felt any real emotional connection to sex, I found it very impersonal actually… I never saw it as a very intimate act, it was something I did for fun… well I grew up… that all that ended a couple years ago, I’m now 29 and its been close to a year since I’ve had sex with anyone at all. This doesn’t bother me as I very rarely date, I’m taken a lot of time for myself. I recently started talking to a man… I’m very practical, I don’t believe in throwing all you have into someone right off the bat, I find that to be a recipe for disaster, so i try to remain reserved at first for the most part for my own protections, this may be flaw I’m honestly not sure. But he and I have spent time together about 6 times over the last two weeks, he did wait until the 6th time we spent time together to even kiss me, which I appreciate a great deal, I should also mention that we work together and have for a long period of time before ever beginning to see each other… now the first time he kissed me was slightly more hot in heavy than id have planned..it was like having one of those all out high school make out sessions and maybe its possible that my brain is trained to think this way…. but the entire time I was thinking… hes going to want this to go further, hes going to want to have sex… I’m not ready for that I don’t want to do that yet… in between kissing I finally just said ” i feel like I’m frustrating you” or “I don’t want you to get frustrated” i forget how I worded it… he told me he wasn’t frustrated at all and he wouldn’t have it any other way… you see here is my issue, because I’ve treated it so causally in the past I almost feel like I’m not entitled to change and want to wait… and I know you said in your previous answer to do other things like oral and hand jobs but I’m not really comfortable with that either…Id like to wait until there is a deep emotional connection, id like to experience that for the first time with someone I already had some pretty strong feelings for, to maybe try and experience the intimacy…but I’m no spring chicken I’m 29 and he is a few years older than me and I worry it will be found as childish or dumb, I’m not sure at all how to go about it, its very new territory for me, and I’ve spent so much time avoiding dating that I really don’t want mess this up, Id like to see it go somewhere.. I could use a little guidance, I apologize for the long question, I really hope to hear back from you.

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Stood-up-relationship-advice

Q:

Hi, I’m a 52 years old woman and would like to know if you confirmed plans the day before to meet but were stood up by a no show/ no call is this being disrespectful to the other person?

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Why is my ex bf so cruel & hurtful?

Relationship_advice_so_hurtful

Q:

My ex and I have known each other for 16 years. dated for 81/2 yrs. He left me a year ago. I went no contact for about the whole year. I was pretty devastated. He then started to get in touch with me. Fast forward to now. We recently slept together a few times. He has made it clear he still has feelings for me. I’ve been pretty casual about it because I don’t want to pressure him & he’s in school full time. Sunday I was at a concert by myself & he texted me asking to help him watch his dog. I told him where I was & he flipped out on me. He said I’m doing “gay ****” all the time.that all his friends are there for him & I haven’t been & that he’ll never ask me for help again. I was shocked cause I’m always there.Even after everything that’s happened between us.”You’re clearly moving on & doing stupid ****. I’ll do my thing,you do yours, whatever it is this time” Hes ignored me all month. His response was he’s busy with work & school & his bands. Then he says “I’d always be there for you if you asked, you have not been. I told him I’d help him & like an idiot left the concert. he stopped answering his phone & was like “I have **** to do bye my phones dyn” so I said “thanks for making me feel like a one night stand, the nights we spent together actually meant something to me. I’m not moving on I’m in love with you asshole” haven’t talked to him since.Whats his problem? All cause I went to a concert? Any men out there that can tell me why he’s so cruel. I feel like a sucker. Read Answer >

Dating the Lead Singer!

Relationship_advice_lead_singer

Q:

A couple of months ago I was joking around on Twitter with a guy I thought was cute, but he is also the lead singer of an up and coming band. When I say “up and coming” I mean, they are still the opener for the opener. Either way, they are gaining popularity so that’s good, but I am fully aware of what comes along with lead singers. So after a few brief direct messages on Twitter he gave me his number. During that time they were on tour and for the next 3 weeks we were texting all day, every day. Once he got home, both of our schedules filled up and communication went from daily to weekly. About 2 weeks ago he sent me the dates and venues for the next tour he is going on, and asked if he was coming close. I said he was about 3 hours away but said I would make it but I would just need a hotel. He said that he had to make some sleeping arrangements as well for a few more cities, including the one I will see him in. Jokingly I said he could stay with me, as we have been discussing a date from day 1. He agreed and when I asked about the other guys in the band he said he was tackling that next. I have travel points and can get hotels for pretty cheap so I told him I would take care of it to take the stress off. After that night though, communication has just halted. I know he is extremely busy, as am I, but why wont he text back? Also, I found his personal facebook this morning and am wondering if it would be creepy to friend request him? Help. Please. Read Answer >

Relationship_advice_indian_spirituality

Q:

Hi there. I met this guy who is 3 years younger than me. We met at a place that offers spiritual upliftment here in south Africa. I THINK he likes me…When we’ve spoken its only been neutral and related to the above and nothing else personal. I think he likes me because I noticed he dressed differently the 1 time,even looked jealous when another guy was speaking to me…I know this is all circumstantial, but when I said I would no longer be attending for the spiritual upliftment he called me and tried to give me alternative dates to suit me…like he didn’t want me to leave? I told him I would contact him if need be in a text message and he hasn’t responded to that.. Anyways I find myself thinking about him a lot. I thought about texting him as an excuse for when we will be celebrating a religious holiday. I just want to keep in touch with him. if he really likes me he should contact me anyways right? shall I text him or leave things as they are? Read Answer >

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