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Long Distance Relationship Dilema



After dating my BF (who is a year older than I) for about 3 years, I took a job 350 miles away. 

As a bit of background, I was married for about 11 years and left my ex-husband in a very messy divorce.

My BF and I had ups and downs when I first left but decided to let the relationship be what it is. We see each other occasionally (he travels to me, I travel to him). He takes care of his elderly mother (admirable.. the kind of guy you want!) and I know he loves me a lot.

I am a very busy independent person who has a professional career and a son in high school so I don’t sit around waiting.

The problem is, despite the way I feel about him, I wonder if I should give up on this relationship? I enjoy my time with him and he has told me if it weren’t for his mother he would have made the move with me.

We are not getting any younger… am I just being impatient?

I have a pretty good idea of what I am looking for in a relationship and just about all of it exists with him. As I said, this isn’t some internet thing, we basically lived together when we were in the same town. As for me moving back, that isn’t an option at this point either…

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Is the guy you like too shy relationship advice


So, this guy in my grade, Josh, used to be my best friend in elementary school. Like best friends. When high school hit, we kind of faded apart. We’ve always had this vibe (a good one) through high school. Even though he has a girlfriend, he always gives me these looks. I’m a junior in high school now, so is he, and he just broke up with his girlfriend, He contacted me, he said hey, and we talked a little. He invited me to his wrestling match. I went, it was awesome, we got a picture. How do I know if he’ll start something, or get it rolling, I like him, but I don’t know if I should ask him out, I’d like to save myself from embarrassment. Because this happens a lot to me, I try too hard, and it ends bad. I like this guy, he’s kinda shy. What do I do?!

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Hello, I’m 18 and I met this guy 2 months ago and I really like and he liked me back too. But last week he told me that “his heart likes me but he’s afraid and confused and doesn’t understan his feelings and he just needs time to think-” HELP ME PLEASE

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I am happy that I found this site, you seem to be very helpful in giving relationship advices so I thought I should also ask you one myself since I also have a interpersonal relationship problem with guys that has been bothering me for quite a long time. I noticed that a same pattern repeats in every relationship I have with guys, whether they are just casual or a bit more serious one.

At first it’s always fine just like other people might have, but I end up sleeping with them and after that the spark is gone, well for them but on the other hand I become more emotionally attached to them. So whenever I think things will move on to the next level, they are gone. A lot of them just disappear without any explanation. I see this quite rude, I mean it is quite natural and normal for a person to suddenly lose interest or just don’t feel it anymore toward the other person without any reason, because I get that too sometimes, but at least I tell them in a nice, non-hurting way so they understand, I really hate, and a bit disturbing to some degree whenever those moments come where I notice they left and I get all paranoid, even to the point I get physical reactions like cold hands and I’m trembling in fear, just like a child thinking her mom may have disappeared and crying for her.

Maybe this has something to do with my attachment anxiety or something, but I also thought since a lot of them were who I met online so I thought I was just being too naive for believing what they only said too quick and being credulous, that I shouldn’t have taken it too seriously myself,.

Recently this guy I’ve known from elementary school through high school suddenly confessed that he liked me and we met and watched movies, but I made a mistake and slept with him on the first date, which I regret very much because I promised myself not to do this, and take things slow.

I also know now that guys kind of lose interest or in a way get disgusted by women who they quickly have sex with. I feel like I’m in a way tamed to be this way, like I don’t know how to be seen as a relationship material. I know at 23 years old, I am still young but I want to break this pattern and get the type of relationship I deserve. But I know I have to have self-respect first, but it is hard, I am thinking I should take some time alone for a while and just remain as good friends with the guy as well as other guys I might meet in the future.

But please, I want the real reason why guys think they can just get away with it, just leaving without a single word even when we didn’t have a fight, when we actually had a good time the last time we met, one guy would just stop talking to me after he last said he’ll call me few hours later, I am so confused, Thank you for reading this long message, I hope I get a reply from you. Thank you.

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Hey honest guy, Hope you can help me. I’m 28 and I’ve been married before. I have 5y.o. boy., then happily divorced. Now I’m dating for over 16 months with a man, who is 10 years older then me. He has his own lifestyle, business and bugs as we all do. I love him with all this set, as is, and I understand that people at that age will never change. The thing is that after more then a year in relationships we still pretty much scheduling our dates like ones or twice a week and it seems like fine by him. He is introverted, so I understand that sometimes he needs some space. My concern that relationships isn’t growing. We don’t talk about moving in together or anything like that. At the same time I’m the FIRST woman that have been introduced to his family. He has never been married or lived with somebody. Do you think someday he will wake up one day, and say, now I’m ready for more. Cause I am ready, at list ready to start talking and planing. I want to have real family, and unfortunately can’t date with somebody till I get grey hair.

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