So you’ve sorted out your online dating profile on eHarmony.ca, you’ve got chatting to somebody interesting and you’re wondering how to go about this. Do you play it coy, do you show a lot of interest, what do you talk about? Here are some tips on how to communicate with your online date:

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Be honest about yourself

First off, don’t start the relationship by telling lies about yourself – this will not do you any favours.

Of course communicating through messaging is different to communicating face to face, and you might be tempted to add a few things or perhaps take some away (like a few pounds, or a few years), but if you want the relationship to go any further, they’ll soon find out and you’ll have some explaining to do.

You want the person to like you for who you are, and you deserve that – also just be honest.

Questions to avoid

It’s a good idea to avoid asking personal questions about religions or beliefs when you’re just getting to know somebody. This could spark off a disagreement, or worse, an argument, and you don’t want to go there. Nor should you start asking about past relationships or marriages just yet – this is the kind of thing to leave until you know the person better and they feel comfortable talking to you.

Questions to ask

Instead, ask rounded questions about what they do for a living, what their interests and aspirations are and where they see themselves in five or ten year’s time. Remember not do bombard them, though, this is not an interview – show interest but keep it relaxed.

Be positive

Something that will come across strongly in messages or Skype conversations is positivity. If you sound like a happy, well-balanced person, people will be attracted to you and will want to keep the conversation going.

Sometimes we can be inclined to be down on ourselves, out of modesty or perhaps a lack of confidence, but remember that this can make you sound negative. So avoid saying things like ‘I’m not very good at…’ or ‘I don’t really like…’ Just stick to positive statements about what you do like and what you are good at.

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The best thing to do is not to play games – if you act coy, you might come across as uninterested, and if you show a lot of interest, you might scare him away. So whether you’re chatting with singles in Calgary or Vancouver, remember to just be yourself, don’t think too much about it, and stick to light topics.

If you’re looking to get back into the dating game, visit eHarmony.ca and get chatting. Happy dating!

Post image for I’m dating a loser but I want to be with my bestfriend

Hi,

This might be kind of long. Okay so 5 years ago I ended up having an intimate relationship with my best guy friend. After a year, I wanted a commitment but he didn’t. He “treated” me like his girlfriend but never officially wanted to put a title on it. I eventually got upset then started dating another guy, this guy is completely different than type I go for. Within weeks we were officially in a relationship then my best friend started getting upset and telling me how much be loves me and tried to get back with me. I ended up staying in my relationship but now I’m thinking to go be with my best friend. I’ve been in my relationship for 2 years now but I feel like my boyfriend doesn’t have a plan for our future. My best friend on the other hand has a great career, nice income, his own condo and a car whereas my boyfriend has none of those things. He has changed a lot to be with me and says that all he wants is to make me happy. He stopped hanging out with his friends as much and pretty much became like a “yes man”. I feel bad that I’m not seeing a future with him anymore. I just want to know someone’s opinion if I’m wrong for wanting a man that can take care of me, I have feelings for my bestfriend and because he is so successful it just makes me want that lifestyle even more. Continue >>

Post image for There is just something about him that I can’t let go

My ex (27 year old) and I have been broken up for 7 months now. In this time, we have still been seeing each other, purely on a friends with benefits relationship. I was the first person to sleep with someone else, and I got called many names by him, as well as being asked never to contact him again. A short time afterwards we continued to see each other, and when he slept with someone else, it was the same deal. Afterwards, he told me we should stop seeing each other, yet sure enough a week later, we were once again sleeping together again. Lately, he has been really rude and disrespectful, trying to woo other girls on Facebook/text messages, and we have had numerous fights over this, all ending with one of us calling our arrangement off. After we had our first fight, a week later of completely NO CONTACT I got an apology. We had our last fight very recently and after two days, I once again received an apology. My question is, what is his problem? Is he literally sorry, or is he just being manipulative? Is his apologizing a way of keeping me in his life because he can’t let go? Or am I just being used until he finds something more with someone else? I know this is a bad place for me to be, both mentally and physically, but there is just something about him that I can’t let go, I need relationship advice. Continue >>

Post image for Seven Ways to Make Your Marriage Last

These days it seems like you’d be hard-pressed to find a marriage that truly lasts. Ten years in and people call it quits because they’re bored or no longer attracted to each other. They forget how hopeful there were, how in love they were and decide to throw in the towel rather than work it out. Granted, some people should get divorced because, perhaps, they should have never gotten married to begin with, but what about the rest? Are they lazy or just short-sighted? Just this past week I went to a beautiful 60 thousand dollar wedding only to have it bookended with the news of two fresh divorces, one to a newly married couple and one not so new.

Is there hope? Can our relationships last the test of time? Can we be like our grandparents who have made it 40+ years or are our times different?

With the advent of internet and social media, I think it does get harder to build and maintain a healthy and happy marriage, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. Prove to everyone else that you don’t have to be apart of the 50% divorce statistic. You can do so by using some of these relationship building tips whether you’re getting married, want to get married or already are.

Communication is single-handedly the most important aspect of your marriage. You are doomed to fail if you can’t communicate effectively with one another. Be open about your needs, emotions, fears and desires. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you need. Bottling up your emotions won’t get you anywhere and will ultimately cause you to be resentful. Talk through your issues, work on the disagreements and as the old adage goes, never go to bed angry.

Honesty and trust fall shortly behind communication. What’s the point in being together if you can’t trust each other? Jealousy can be the fast track to frustration and separation. Keep your fears in check by being honest with each other and being able to trust one another. Effectively communicating will in turn help you build up these two aspects.

Keeping your sex life interesting is also very important. You want the fire to burn, the desire to grow and still feel insatiable towards one another, because without sex, what do you have? A really great best friend. There will be times when you go through ruts, when you get bored and even when you’re not attracted to one another. You’re going to have to work on it. It will take attention, creativity and communication. And hey, sometimes even just a little dirty talk and Adam & Eve lingerie can go a long way.

You’ll also want to set goals with one another, as they give you something to both work towards and be apart of. Think of career aspirations, travels, and even personal hobbies that you would like to focus on and set goals to reach them together. Doing so will help you build a stronger bond and greater sense of personal satisfaction.

Money can become a major issue in marriages. You may even find that it becomes your biggest fight. Avoid yelling over the bills by setting a budget from the get go. Figure out what you make, what your bills are and how you can both feasibly leave within if not under your means. Discuss big purchases and remember that it isn’t just you and your own bank account anymore. The days of going out to buy expensive shoes on a whim just may be over. For now.

Make a commitment to each other that you will make time to talk to one another daily, spend time with one another and to actively work on your marriage. Recognize that there will be hard times physically, mentally and emotionally and commit to be there for one another during those moments. Marriage isn’t going to be easy, but it can be great and very rewarding. Get there by keeping each other in the present and reminding each other why you wanted to married in the first place.

Finally, have your own life. The key to a happy marriage starts within yourself. Your partner can’t be responsible for your happiness, you gotta get there on your own. So maintain your own friends, hobbies and interests. Do what makes you feel good and happy and in turn, your partner will be happy too.

Post image for Should I give up on him or keep fighting for him?

So, there is this guy and we were friends over the summer but slowly grew apart. One night I wasn’t myself and I freaked out at him because I felt like he didn’t care and didn’t even want to be my friend. The next couple weeks I ignored him when he came up to me in the halls and I would avoid him as much as I could cause I didn’t want to face him.

He soon started to leave me alone and I started slowly talking to him a little more but it was pretty awkward. Another night I was talking to my best friends ex boyfriend (they were still together at the time) and I was telling him that the guy wanted to steal my best friend from him because that’s what I had heard from some other people including his really good friend. The next day my friends ex told the other guy what I said and nothing has been the same, I am friends with some of his friends and they all tell me that he hates me and thinks I am annoying and he never talks to me in the halls. I have tried to apologize but he blocked my number (I think) and I can’t get up the courage to face him in person. He talks to my friends but never even gives me on glance. I get messages from his friends that i am not friends asking if I like him just to piss me off but, I don’t know if

there is an actual reason behind it other than that. I miss talking to him and I really still like him but there are soo many reasons why I shouldn’t like him and it hurts to see him and know that he pretty much hates my guts. I am usually really good at getting over guys but not with him. I feel like there is a reason why I can’t get over him and so I am waiting it out. Should I give up on him or keep fighting for him? If I should give him up then how do I move on? If keep fighting then how do I get him back? Please help! Continue >>