I am happy that I found this site, you seem to be very helpful in giving relationship advices so I thought I should also ask you one myself since I also have a interpersonal relationship problem with guys that has been bothering me for quite a long time. I noticed that a same pattern repeats in every relationship I have with guys, whether they are just casual or a bit more serious one.
At first it’s always fine just like other people might have, but I end up sleeping with them and after that the spark is gone, well for them but on the other hand I become more emotionally attached to them. So whenever I think things will move on to the next level, they are gone. A lot of them just disappear without any explanation. I see this quite rude, I mean it is quite natural and normal for a person to suddenly lose interest or just don’t feel it anymore toward the other person without any reason, because I get that too sometimes, but at least I tell them in a nice, non-hurting way so they understand, I really hate, and a bit disturbing to some degree whenever those moments come where I notice they left and I get all paranoid, even to the point I get physical reactions like cold hands and I’m trembling in fear, just like a child thinking her mom may have disappeared and crying for her.
Maybe this has something to do with my attachment anxiety or something, but I also thought since a lot of them were who I met online so I thought I was just being too naive for believing what they only said too quick and being credulous, that I shouldn’t have taken it too seriously myself,.
Recently this guy I’ve known from elementary school through high school suddenly confessed that he liked me and we met and watched movies, but I made a mistake and slept with him on the first date, which I regret very much because I promised myself not to do this, and take things slow.
I also know now that guys kind of lose interest or in a way get disgusted by women who they quickly have sex with. I feel like I’m in a way tamed to be this way, like I don’t know how to be seen as a relationship material. I know at 23 years old, I am still young but I want to break this pattern and get the type of relationship I deserve. But I know I have to have self-respect first, but it is hard, I am thinking I should take some time alone for a while and just remain as good friends with the guy as well as other guys I might meet in the future.
But please, I want the real reason why guys think they can just get away with it, just leaving without a single word even when we didn’t have a fight, when we actually had a good time the last time we met, one guy would just stop talking to me after he last said he’ll call me few hours later, I am so confused, Thank you for reading this long message, I hope I get a reply from you. Thank you.
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