by The Last Honest Guy
In love but feeling in a competition with porn
Q:
Hi, I realize there is a ton of questions like this but I still feel I need some help. 2 years ago I broke up with a high school boyfriend of 11 years. It was my choice, overtime we grew apart and I cared for him but was no longer physically attracted to him, which i started feeling about 2 years before we broke up, and felt I had to end it and try to be happy. Only a month after we split I started seeing a guy I work with, I knew it was very soon but I felt this physical attraction I was missing for so long and he made me feel so special. Things went fast, he asked me to move into his house which I did. About 3 months into the relationship I seen a message from a girl on his phone, not appropriate for someone not single. After this I found things in his email, which he leaves up at home and messages to random girls. Finally I had enough and left. A month later after a lot if talking he convinced me he would not do this again. He said as he was single for years before we met it was a habit for him and he knew it was wrong now that we were together, and told me over and over it was done with. Note, he is 38, I’m 31. Since I went back I have not seen anything or once felt like he was hiding anything. What is bothering me is how much time he spends on porn sites. Our sex life is OK, I initiate a lot but its still only about once a week. I play with myself a lot more now as I am a very sexual person and once a week does not cut it for me. When I’m not home all he does it download and look at porn vids/sites, hours and hours. I’ve brought this up once and he got very angry and told me what he looks at is his business, which is fair, as I enjoy it too when I play, and sometimes we watch it together, but I guess to me there’s a difference between a few videos to get off to hours and hours of looking at it. I feel almost like I have to compete against porn, which I know is both impossible and crazy! Is this normal? I don’t want to cause a fight, we get along very well, spend a lot of our free time together and I know most people look at porn and I’m not saying he shouldn’t, but why for hours? Every time I leave the house? I feel like I’m going crazy! Thanks do much in advance for your help!
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by The Last Honest Guy
Confused….does a he prefer to live alone?
Q:
I really need a man advice….so..as you are the last honest one..here I am. My name is Ad******, I am 49 and I have a relation with a man for about one and a half year. We are both singles,he is divorced ten years ago. In the early stage of our relation he explain to me that he is used to be single and don’t think to be available for emotional attachment. But I really liked him, felt good together, so I remain in this relation. Now,everything is good between us (from all points of view), somehow feel very close together and I’m pretty sure he feels good with me. But we are not really a couple;I mean, we don’t live together, don’t make plans for the future. So,I’m confused. It is possible that a man really prefer to live alone? or is just some fear of attachment? Can I do something to change this, if it is the case? I wish I could understand because I really love him (and is not just desire, but also appreciation and respect). So I wish that things go well for us. But I don’t want to “manipulate” him, because I think it must come from him to be worthwhile, no mater what. I will be grateful for your opinion.
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by The Last Honest Guy
Has a guy ever called you beautiful and now you’re wondering what that actually means? Does he like you? Is he flirting? Is he serious? Or is he just being nice?
Here’s the truth: men rarely use the word beautiful casually. Most guys don’t hand out that word the way women might.
And I’ll explain why.
Why It Means More Than You Think When a Guy Calls You Beautiful
Let’s start with something most women don’t know:
Men are not raised to talk about their emotions.
Growing up, guys are told things like:
“Man up.”
“Don’t be soft.”
“Men don’t cry.”
“Don’t act weak.”
So when a man uses a word like beautiful, he’s stepping out of the “be tough” box he was raised in.
That means:
He’s comfortable enough with you to be emotionally open.
That alone is a big deal.
Most guys would never call a girl beautiful unless they really meant it — or unless they feel safely connected to her in some way.
“Beautiful” Is Not the Same as “Pretty” or “Cute” (And Men Know the Difference)
Women sometimes think these words are interchangeable.
Men don’t.
Here’s how guys categorize compliments (even if they’ve never admitted it):
Cute = soft attraction
Pretty = he likes your face
Sexy = physical/sexual attraction
Hot = lust, desire
Gorgeous = strong physical attraction
Beautiful = emotional + physical admiration
When a guy calls you beautiful, he is combining all the above into one word.
That’s why it feels stronger — because it is.
For a full breakdown of how men use compliments, read
Guys Compliments Decoded
Does It Mean He Likes You? Almost Always.
Let me be blunt:
If a guy calls you beautiful, he’s attracted to you. Period.
Men do not use that word on women they see as “just friends.” Even shy or reserved men only use that word if:
If he calls you beautiful regularly, he is almost certainly interested in you romantically.
Does It Mean He Wants a Relationship? Here’s How You Know
The compliment alone isn’t enough to know. Look for these signs:
1. He calls you beautiful without expecting something
Not fishing for photos.
Not pushing anything sexual.
Just genuinely saying it.
2. He compliments your personality AND your looks
If he says things like:
“You’re beautiful and I love talking to you,”
that’s deeper interest.
3. His behavior matches his compliments
A guy who calls you beautiful AND makes effort → serious interest.
A guy who disappears and reappears randomly?
Read Why Men Pull Away — it explains exactly what’s going on.
4. He’s consistent
Men show interest through patterns, not one-time lines.
Is He Just Being Polite? Rarely.
Men don’t call women they’re not attracted to “beautiful.”
It’s too intimate, too vulnerable, too intentional.
If he just wanted to be polite, he’d say:
“You look nice.”
“Great picture.”
“You look pretty today.”
Beautiful is personal.
Polite compliments are generic.
What It Means When He Calls You Beautiful Over Text
Text compliments can mean different things depending on timing and tone.
If he randomly texts you “you’re beautiful”…
He’s thinking about you.
If he says it in the morning
He woke up thinking about you → very strong attraction.
If he says it late at night
Still meaningful, but could be flirty or lonely.
If he says it after seeing your photos
Obvious attraction.
If he says it without any context
That’s vulnerability. That means something.
If He Calls You Beautiful But Says He “Just Wants to Be Friends”
Please don’t fall for this.
If a man calls you beautiful AND claims he doesn’t want anything romantic, there are three possibilities:
He’s lying to himself
He’s keeping access to you
He’s afraid of commitment but still attracted
Men do not call their platonic female friends beautiful.
If You Tell Your Friends, Don’t Make It Public
You can tell one or two close girlfriends — that’s normal.
But don’t:
Men shut down when they feel embarrassed.
Protect the intimacy if you want him to open up again.
So What Does It Really Mean When a Guy Calls You Beautiful?
It means:
It’s a romantic compliment. Always.
Most men don’t use that word lightly.
Recommended Reading
These will help you understand male behavior even more:
by The Last Honest Guy
Valentines Epic Fail – Relationship Advice
Q:
I’ve been in what I thought was a great relationship for years. We are both older, raising three teenagers , and financially secure . For valentines day I planned a get a getaway ( close by ) with lodging , spa and dinner . I told my committed several weeks in advance that we had plans . The morning of v day I tell him we have plans and he’s mad! He wanted to work on His business taxes . He pouted all day , and we did not go after I paid close to $1,000 for the package . There was no point in going if he didn’t want to . What’s up!
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by The Last Honest Guy
High School Hook-Up – Does he like me?
Q:
There is this boy who i hooked up with a few times. I was with him the other day and we hooked up and I gave him a hickey. People know it was me but he told people that he thinks I’m ugly. But why would he say that if he hooked up with me many times before and never said I was ugly? He’s always all over me when we got to the same parties and he stares at me all the time. My friends think he likes me but trys to hide from his friends. I don’t know what to think because he obviously wouldn’t have come over if he thought I was ugly so why would he say all that stuff to others?
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by The Last Honest Guy
Lost, Confused but Willing to Love
Q:
Hi! I came across your site as I was looking for a bit of clarity in my own “relationship” with a guy friend of mine. He’s 29(almost 30 in two months,) I’m 28. We met on a dating site over a year ago and we became fast friends, Talking almost every day and staying up until the wee hours of morning just talking and texting each other. He’s a really amazing person and, over time, I ended up falling for him. However, about three months after we met, (around March of 2014), he started dating a woman who was 20 years older than he; she didn’t like that he and I were so close and I didn’t see or hear from him much during that time, and she didn’t want me to see him. The relationship fell through some months later and we were closer than ever. This time, I wasn’t going to lose him again: on July 9( my late father’s 55th birthday) I told him how I felt and that I wanted to be with him(it was the most nerve wracking and most worthwhile thing I have ever done!). While he was flattered that I did this, he said that he wasn’t looking for a relationship(due to his ex gf hurting him) and at that time, was concentrating on finding a new job and moving out on his own. I understood his choice and for the most part, I keep my feelings for him to myself.
He eventually got a better(albeit a tad stressful) job in Florida and moved there in October. We’ve managed to keep in touch as much as we can, but lately it feels like I am bugging him a little with wanting to talk to him and with checking up on him. Sometimes he responds to my texts, and sometimes he doesn’t, but I can’t help but feel like he’s holding back a little-he talks to his other friends a lot more than he does with me, and I think that it has a lot to do with how he thinks of me as a person. Bottom line- I care for him. A lot. I may even be so bold as to say that, in fact, I may even be in love with him. I think of him a lot at times (even when I’m very, very busy) and I dream of the day when I could tell him “I love you” and he can open up his heart to me.
So far, we’re still friends, but I feel that there’s so much confusion now. I never know how he thinks or feels(or what he thinks of me); I don’t know if he just can’t tell me or doesn’t want to tell me and I genuinely want to know. I understand that he has a life of his own and he has responsibilities now, but I don’t want to harm him or cause him pain. I only want to be apart of his life and give him love. I feel as though I’m in a way paying for the way his ex gf treated him, and I can’t seem to get closer to him. And I want to. So badly. I want to be with him and gladly be a gf he deserves but I just can’t get through to him. Sometimes I feel so stupid that I want to be with him so bad, that I take an interest in his life that I admit, I do overdo it with texting him and contacting him. He may think that it’s just easier to blow me off whenever and talk to his friends, but to me, it makes me feel as though I don’t matter to him anymore when he means everything to me.
Did I make a mistake to always be there for him, to try and love him and never abandon him? Am I wrong for wanting to be apart of his life and to be more closer to him, even though he is clearly treating me differently than he treats his friends. I wish I knew what was going on in his head, I wish I was let into his world and I had a chance to give him love. If I had just one chance to show him love, I would tell him that I love him every day and night, to be there to believe in him and support his dreams and to stand by him. There’s nothing that I wouldn’t do for him. Please tell me what do you think of this? I love him so much but I’m so confused. I feel like I’m not his friend, but I’m not his girlfriend, either(even though it would be a dream come true for me) so I’m stuck in the vast nothingness of the friend zone/relationship limbo. What’s your take on this? (Sorry for the long diatribe, by the way)
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