by The Last Honest Guy
When a man says the words “I’m confused” after being caught red-handed, he’s basically trying to say “I don’t want to be with you anymore.” He just wants to test you and see if you are willing to put up with his infidelities. Of course most man that cheats wishes they never get caught and when they do they try to talk their way out of it. Saying “I’m confused” is basically saying “let me think about this, because I really don’t want to be with you anymore but let me grow the balls to just say it.” (more…)
by The Last Honest Guy
I am in my mid-40s and have been married for four years. On top of all the marital difficulties we’re having, my husband insists that I have dinner with his parents every Sunday, as well as every anniversary, birthday and holiday. The truth is, I don’t really like his family, and I can only take them in small doses. They are loud, argumentative and mean.
I make it a point to accompany my husband every few weeks or so, and we spend every holiday with them. Today, my husband announced that his parents’ anniversary and his father’s birthday are coming up and that if I don’t attend “we’re through.”
I was shocked by this ultimatum. I feel it is a complete betrayal of our marriage that he would back me into a corner like this. Spending time with his parents is very hard on me. They are very abrasive and critical, and I always leave feeling sad. My own parents are both deceased. This makes it even more difficult for me. We did things so differently in my family. Getting together was pleasurable and not something one “had to do.” What can I do? (more…)
by The Last Honest Guy
Hi, I really need help on my marriage; a week ago my husband told me that he wasn’t sexually attractive to me and the next week, he said he didn’t love me any more. I asked why, and he said that he was tired of all the put downs and all. I told him that I was sorry if I put him down so many times, but we have been having trouble with my mom and my self stressing and I do take it out on him when I’m mad, I know that being mad make you say or do things you don’t want.
We’ve been together 2 year and 8 months, and 3 nights ago, I had something planned for both of us, maybe something it could of help our marriage. But while on the way, a co-worker from us called and said that another co-worker wanted to hang out with us, but not me included.
I was hoping that my husband would say “no if she isn’t going then I wont either, besides we have something special to do tonight.” instead he said “are you going to give me money for gas, if you are then I’ll be there.” I got mad, and I just ignore it and said ok…fine. Later on I started to tell him why he was going to hang out with them and not with me. He just told me straight forward that he didn’t love me any more, and he doesn’t even care about me. That broke my heart, so much. We’ve been through allot when we started dating, we did what ever we could so we can keep seeing each other because my mother didn’t allow me to see him.
Now after all that effort, I can’t believe he is saying this. I told him I’ll give him time to him self, a week, a month, but to try to think about our marriage. But he said, “You already know my answer, so just give up.”
please, what should I do? He doesn’t want to try to give me a chance or anything and I really love him. Please let me know what I should do. Thanks. (more…)
by The Last Honest Guy
We got married 3 1/2 years ago and 3 years ago I got braces and my husband hasn’t kissed me since I got braces… (Before I met him I knew he was a clean freak but I didn’t think it was this bad…)… So, as a result I suffer from very low self esteem… He also never wants to be with me sexually unless I ask him and I don’t ask him anymore because I used to get rejected and I felt embarrassed. When it does happen I feel shy around him, I’m not sure why I think it’s because I’m not used to having sex… I am hurt and I am afraid I’m going to have to live like this 4 the rest of my life… I feel like I have fallen out of love with him because of this… I feel like I want to get divorced but I’m scared. I married my first boyfriend. Advice please…. thx
P.S.
My husband says that he doesn’t want to kiss me because he says I can’t brush my teeth thoroughly with braces on. He is grossed out by them and he says if he kisses me he will mess up his teeth. He does have perfect teeth… (more…)
by The Last Honest Guy
“Very controlling, obsessive, delusional and insecure due to lack of education.”
Let me start by saying that you may have a controlling, obsessive, delusional and insecure spouse but it doesn’t necessarily means it’s because of lack of education. How did you come up with that? I’ve known a lot of people with a high school or lower levels of education and they’re not all controlling, obsessive, delusional and insecure like you say. I think you have just come up with your own conclusion based on what you feel is a good reason for their behavior. In my opinion this is the wrong thing to do because it blocks the possibility of finding out the real reason that’s causing this behavior. I also noticed that you’ve labeled your spouse as “mentally ill” which is completely out of line because someone that’s controlling doesn’t necessarily mean they’re mentally ill, that’s a strong term to use. Now, creating all these negative labels about your spouse might be creating more problems in your relationship than you think specially if you actually use them towards them when you have arguments, and something tells me that you do. (more…)
by The Last Honest Guy
I made plans about a week ago for my husband and I to spend the day out at the lake on Memorial Day. I thought it would be a good chance for us to spend some time together, because he’s going to be working a lot of overtime the next several weeks. He agreed and I’ve been looking forward to this. Today his mom called and wants us to come to her house tomorrow for a cookout. I’m upset because we’ve had our other plans for a week, and she thinks she can call the day before for a cookout? Of course he wants to go, but I want to stick with our original plan. (We can’t do both as his mom lives a few hours away.) My husband knows I don’t want to go to his mom’s and now he’s acting mad at me. Who is in the wrong here? Should I give in and just go to his mom’s even though I’ve been looking forward to going to the lake?
As a guy I can say that most of us usually think about events and everything in our every day life as a money sign $$$$. With that said, I can tell you that if given the option to go the lake and spend money buying all the food and supplies or going over to mom’s and not have to spend a penny, not to mention the fact that there’s no labor involved, I would definitely take the second option.
Another thing you must take in consideration is that most of us guys usually consciously or unconsciously have what we call “plan A” “plan B” etc. So in this case he may have just agreed to go to the lake because there were no other better options available at the time. So the minute something better came up he took it, that simple. In all reality is a no-brainer and if you think about it, going over to his mom’s also saves you the hassle to have to buy everything that you need and have to cook it too. On top of things, if you were planning on making your husband cook everything, then it’s no surprise that he wants to go over to moms. You mention that he has been or will be working a lot of overtime which might one more reason why he wants to just relax this Memorial Day weekend and do as little work as possible.
Really, what you need to do is sit down and have a conversation with your husband and really find out why he wants to go over to his mom’s instead of the lake. Now, keep in mind the possible reasons I just gave you and know that if you guys are not very well financially or have big expenses coming up, then it might be a smarter choice to go over to the in-laws and eat for free. With that said, if he has already given in to your demands and called it off with the in-laws, then at least be kind and don’t expect him to do much work when he comes along to the lake against his wishes. He has already told you what he wants to do and now everything he’s doing is to please you and avoid a fight. In the future just know that we always look at things from a financial perspective and that’s usually the basis of our decisions. We rarely want to throw away money when is not necessary.
