by The Last Honest Guy
Dear Last Honest Guy,
I’ve taken your advice to move on to just casual dating (while focusing on my career/uni) and getting to know guys for who they are. I met the sweetest guy and I’ve been dating this guy for 2 months. We’re the same age, we’re doing our first year in university in the same city. He’s been in quite a few long term relationships, (one was with this girl Tania for a year and the other was with this girl Michelle for 3 years). There was this other girl Mary after Michelle but the whole point of that was that they ALL cheated on him. Now this guy probably has a knack for just choosing virgins who can’t deal with long distance relationship.
Apart from my boyfriend’s paranoia at the beginning and his depression (due to his schizo-affective disorder), I didn’t think there were any underlying problems between us. We enjoy each others company and hes my best friend in so many ways. At the beginning of our relationship we’ve told each other how many people we’ve slept with. He said 6 and I said 15 (including him). I understand its a large number and I swear to god I wish I was such a crazy nut last year. He didn’t initially say anything until he asked me how many people I’ve slept with since I’ve been to Canada (as I’ve lived in Hong Kong my whole life). I told him 9 because I thought it was the right thing to tell him. He didn’t really say much of it but it really hurt him and he kept on going about how he pictures me with 15 penises.
We’ve made up and everything. But for the sake of the future (if this relationship doesn’t work out) and I’m in a different relationship. Should I lie about how many people I’ve slept with? I understand I should choose a guy who accepts me for who I am including my stupid past history. I mean the fact that I’ve been with 16 people, its made me appreciate him for who he is so much more, and thats why hes “unique and special to me” Whereas he sees the opposite because I’ve done it with so many people, its not special anymore.
Whats more is that he says that having sex with so many people makes people disrespect you. I’ve always thought that girls having sex with many men because they can is a sign of female empowerment (too many sex and the city episodes?).
How many guys is “too many”? Is it considered better to have fallen in love with 16 people and slept with them or to have casual sex with 16 people? Why do some guys care so much and if they don’t care about it what does that mean? And should you really tell your partner your past sexual history? There just seems to be a lack of information about
this subject online. Except the “it’s just how society works” bull-crap.
Sincerely,
The girl in need of a third-person perspective (more…)
by The Last Honest Guy
Yes, I am just 13 years old, and I know that seems pretty young to want some guy advice, but I REALLY need help. You see, I’ve been trying to get over a guy I’ve been liking for like 9 months now, but I just can’t seem to prevail. I have NEVER liked a guy this much before, and I honestly don’t know why I do. We’re complete opposites, he’s the obnoxious troublemaker, and I’m the little miss goodie two shoes. He says he loves someone else, and I’m tired of crying over him. Please help me, I really don’t know what to do! (more…)
by The Last Honest Guy
I am a college student, and was recently at a party for St. Patrick’s Day. I was having fun hanging out with people, when this guy came over and started dancing with me. He seemed sweet, so I continued to dance. We kind of talked a little bit, but then I thought I was going to have to leave, so I gave him my number. After dealing with a friend who was sick, I went back to the party. For the rest of the night he would hold my hand, put his hand in my back pocket, and was constantly touching me. I knew he was fairly intoxicated, but I liked the attention. We ended up sitting on a couch cuddling for almost a half hour. He told me about how he was finishing up school after being in the marines, and we just talked until the party ended. A couple days later, I asked him to go bowling with me and some friends. He paid for two of my games without even asking, sat near me, and had fun poking me after figuring out that I was ticklish. We talked a little bit over the course of the next week, but it was mostly me starting the conversations. I invited him to come along to a party a week after we originally met. As soon as he got there, he was touching me and poking me. He was drunk again, and so I was concerned about his real feelings. After he continued to act like he was flirting with me, I took him away from the party and told him that I didn’t want to just be “a piece of ass” because I had never been kissed or anything like that and wasn’t about to start letting him play games with me. We tried to talk, but he kept rambling drunkenly, and I knew it wasn’t a good time to have a conversation. We went back to the party, and after more dancing and touching he asked me to help him change the song in the dj booth. He kissed me and gave me a hickey. The party ended a little while later, and as I was leaving he said he was coming with me. We walked through campus, and this was when I saw how drunk he truly was, stumbling and hiccuping. We stopped and he asked me where he wanted this to go, and I told him that he was nice and I wanted to talk to him more. I also mentioned something about wanting to be in a
relationship. We kissed again, and then he headed off towards his dorm. It’s been almost a week now, and I continue to try to get together with him, but he says that he wants to focus on his school work and he is busy all the time. I want to talk about what happened when he is actually sober. I think that I either scared him off or he has lost interest, but at the same time I still like him and want to give him a chance. I am very, very confused. (more…)
by The Last Honest Guy
Basically, I have a huge crush on this guy but he can be kinda shy at times. On the first day we ever saw each other, he walked in through the door and just stared at me. A friend of mine opened the door for him and when he walked through, he just looked at me with a nervous smile however, I think the nervous smile was due to my friend teasing him about something not related to this topic. He was looking at me while my friend was talking to him too. When i looked at him, he looked down (still smiling nervously lol). One day, I was handing out questionnaires and I noticed he was getting ready to take one from me and when I did give him one, he just said “thanks” and took it from my hand staring at the paper. When I let go of it, he blatantly acted disinterested by putting the paper down and just looking away from it and me while the other people were kindly reading it lol. That same day, he even looked back when he got to the far end of the sidewalk as he most probably thought I couldn’t see him and he saw me catch him. The following day, I had to ask him back for the paper I gave him and as I was standing waiting for him to come a bit nearer, he was staring at a building as he knew I was looking at him. When he finally realized that I wanted to talk to him, he looked at me and smiled while raising his eyebrows and he even said hello. He came to me instead of making me walk to him lol. While I was talking, he looked at me, listening to every word I said. But when I waited for his response, he took so long to answer but he answered with short words. Why? Another day, he saw me through the window and when I looked at him, he was looking at the floor and just blushing and smiling. And when he walked back, he glanced at me again when he got to the far end but he saw me catch him again lol. He doesn’t look back anymore though, nor does he look at me when I am there. However, one day he walked past me and looked at me with the corner of his eyes. Why did he do that? He was quite near me too and I caught him looking through the corner of his eyes.
So basically, i have seen him look at my direction but he quickly averts his eyes when i look his way. But I’ve also been receiving mixed signals from him. For example, I was saying hi to his little sister and he didn’t even look at me when I walked past greeting his sister. It was so obvious that he was ignoring me. All he was doing was sort of fidgeting about and trying to take hold of his sisters bag and hold it himself lol. He doesn’t always look at me when I am there and I don’t know why he does that. He is shy so maybe that’s why =S
The main mixed signals are basically that he looks like he’s ignoring me but at the same time starts forgetting about when he knows I’m looking. He doesn’t always look at me when Im just standing there lol. I don’t really know what’s up with him? I’d really like an answer please? 
(more…)
by The Last Honest Guy
I have some serious relationship issues and it seems my head and my heart can’t work together on this one. I am very inexperienced when it comes to relationships only having 2 serious ones in my life, and the man I’m with now is the father of my son and was my first “real” boyfriend. We met when i was 20 years old and were only dating for about 2 months when I found out I was pregnant. He left shortly thereafter to get back together with his ex. They broke up less than a year later, and a month after that he was with someone else. He has never been single for more than 6 months since he was 14. During the time we were separated, I had a 9 month relationship with another man, whom I ended up leaving to be with him.
We moved fast (again) and ended up moving in together after only about 2 months of dating. I moved 2 hours away from my family (whom helped me raise my son to that point) to be with him, and he already lives 5 hours away from his family.
We constantly fight about where our future is going to take us. He told me before I moved with him, that he would do anything to be with me and that if I came to live with him for a while he would do everything he could to keep me and that meant finding a job closer to my home so i can go back to school.
We both have no family where we are living now and I plan on attending Medical school to become an OBGYN. I want my son to be close to family like i was, but he feels that it’s not fair that he be close to my family and not his so he wants to stay where we are since it’s in the middle. I am very very close to my family and it hurts me to be this far away. He also doesn’t get along very well with my family. He doesn’t seem to want to make any attempt to get to know them or be close to them. Whenever I go home for a visit, he never comes with me or if he does he just complains. This is the biggest issue, besides the normal, he doesn’t tell me I’m beautiful, not affectionate enough blah blah blah.
But now, I did something I am completely ashamed of and swore to never do…I made a comment to my son about him. We were fighting on the phone and I was crying, and my son, who is almost 4, asked if I was crying and who I was talking to. I replied “yes I’m crying. I’m talking to your dad. He’s the only one that makes me cry.” Although the statement is completely true, I can admit my wrong doing that I should never bring my son into our arguments and I have always sworn that I wouldn’t but I did this time, and he became furious and hung up on me, and giving me the silent treatment for 3 days. I apologized for saying what I did when we finally talked and he said that he was so angry he didn’t know if he wanted to be with me anymore. He started bringing up other things basically trying to point fingers at me about our relationship not working out, and I shot back with things he’s done and reasons why I may have done what I did and so on and so forth.
In the end, I told him I would leave if he was questioning our love. You either love someone or you don’t right? And I figure if he didn’t know whether he loved me, there was no sense in staying. So I made the decision to leave, once I was finished my current schooling. That night, we talked and he said things he had NEVER said before. He wooed me for the first time in months and looked me in my eyes and told me he was tired of “trying” to make our relationship work and that he was gonna DO it this time. He held me like he hadn’t in a long time and told me I was beautiful and how much he loved me and he didn’t want to lose me or our son. I won’t lie, I melted. I told him I can’t make promises but I would stay. I was still skeptical, only because I feel like he had said similar things before. So now my real dilemma, the day after we made up, I went through his phone and found that he had messaged a girl that we both knew and was making sexual comments towards her. She had invited him to a going away party and he responded by saying “I have to work that day, so I’ll have to please you another time” and that she “was gonna get it.” When I confronted him, he tried to play it like he was joking at first, but when I made it clear that it was inappropriate, and how would he feel if I was saying things like that to another man, he went on saying, that he didn’t know what was going on with us and that it was no big deal and it wasn’t her fault (which I totally agree with) and that he was just trying to get revenge on me for saying what I did to our son and trying to hurt me. I have never been so angry. I wanted to physically hurt him and I am not an angry person. I couldn’t believe that he had done this just because we weren’t getting along. So needless to say, I slept on the couch that night feeling disgusted and he barely showed any remorse for the fact that I was crying for hours by myself. The next day he kept apologizing saying he didn’t know why he did it (yet he told me why he did). Since then we haven’t talked. He has apologized a couple of times but I just feel so horrible and every time I think about him talking to this other woman like that, I just get knots in my stomach and think I’m the biggest idiot in the world for even thinking about staying, but at the same time, I want to believe him but I know I won’t trust him the same. I don’t know what to do or if our relationship is worth saving. Please help me! (more…)
by The Last Honest Guy
I just met guy a few weeks ago. Hes 12 yrs older then me by the way. We both seem pretty similar. Were looking for the same qualities and traits in a partner. He’s old fashion as far as how a relationship should operate. He believes the man should where the pants in the relationship and have the last say so and a woman should know her place. Cant say I disagree with him. I’m pretty much submissive and like a man who takes charge. Now the only thing I have found disturbing is he said if woman cheats on him or lays a finger on him he ll put his hands on her. I asked if he was serious and he said yes. That he wanted to be upfront about because he didn’t want to be called a liar. He said she doesn’t get mad easily. And little things don’t set him off. Now do I respect his honesty and keep pursuing him or run for the hills? (more…)
