Is he messed up in the head or he’s just a player?

by The Last Honest Guy

So I’ve met this guy on an online dating site. He’s 2 years older than me (I’m 18). We started texting this year September, we met up a month later but he left me waiting outside in the cold for an hour and we did it in the back of his car for 10 minutes before he left back to work. Know that I traveled 45 minutes to get to where he was. So I told him I never wanted to see him again (I told him that losing my virginity might have been better than that encounter), he retorts that my head wasn’t even that great. Anyhow just before New Years he starts texting me again, I really did think at first that it was just all an attempt for him to get laid despite his comments of just wanting me for himself. How he wants me to be his wifey/shorty. I got to meet him on New Years Eve and we had sex. It was amazing and afterward he texted me saying that hes my boyfriend now or wtv. Later on the week he wanted me to go all the way to his house or back to my friend’s apartment which I couldn’t do because I was really busy. He got really mad at me and just said forget it. Then my phone suffered liquid damage so I emailed him about it and he didn’t say anything. I called him up and asked to meet up and he was like I’ll IM you instead.

1) He never did
2) I’m feeling like a sadist right now, it seems like I need a hard phone call from reality

Honest guy, if I did knew this guy was sketchy (he barely wanted to tell me his last name), why would I do something like this? What is this guy’s deal? Is he messed in the head or he’s just a player? I just want to know for the future so I can move away from the losers. Or did I just play my cards wrong? Was I emotionally slutty? (more…)

So, I’m not really into clingy

by The Last Honest Guy

Let’s get the easy stuff out of the way: I’m 22; the male in question is 21. We’re both ultra boring white kids who grew up in (insert laugh here) Catholic school, although not the same one.

So, I’m not really into clingy – something I’m sure to note to anyone with whom I speak, be it friend, foe, or significant other. Not so into the last one, as I don’t typically date.

I also have pre-defined relationship views and decisions (already made and ready to go) should I ever idiotically enter into one. They’re simple things, mostly…like telling the guy how often I am comfortable being contacted and how I get really easily annoyed if certain lines are crossed.

I make sure to tell whatever unfortunate male thinks dating me is a good idea in advance, and usually it works out rather well. (An example is my saying, “Hey, I’m perfectly okay with kissing…but not so into the sex thing, so don’t get too excited.” Insert a wink and a smile, and they’re usually already laughing. AND they respect the boundaries.)

Maybe I’ve just gotten lucky.

Whatever.

The male in question is respectful of those boundaries, although I feel they may have made him insecure, as he asks a lot of, “Do you think this is too clingy?” type questions. Or perhaps he’s just open to lines of communication. I was hoping for the latter, but…

Probably not the case in point. He’s um. You know. 21.

Anyway, lost my virginity to this kid about…oh, two days ago, and yesterday he called me and asked me to come over and stay the night. 1.) The dog is sick. 2.) Had been up since 5am, and was entirely too exhausted to drive two hours to see him. It was 6pm. 3.) Those two combined formed this sentence to him: Not tonight. Don’t get me wrong. I’m heartless, but I did explain the former two reasons as well.

So. 21. Yes. Must mention that again.

This morning, he calls with a “You know how I make rash decisions…?” and you can probably guess the rest from there, but he found another girl with whom to share his bed.

He sounded…apologetic on the phone.

I just said, “Well, best of luck in your new relationship.”

So that’s most of the situation. (Also, one of my pre-planned things. I don’t think it’s worth it to get mad over something like that. If he wants to be with someone else or, say, become upset enough to do it out of…whatever reason he did it… he’s more than welcome. I also don’t think it’s worth it to try and work it out when it happened so early on in the first place. Really,  thank high heavens. Later in the relationship may have led to my being less rational about it.)

Okay, so what I’m failing to understand is WHY OH WHY he’s being ridiculously clingy right now. I was assuming that I had done something (other than the not-coming-over thing) to prompt all of that. I’d assume that sleeping with someone else is one of those, “I don’t want to be with you anymore” things, or maybe he just thinks that’s okay and we can move on. Or even better yet, a way of saying, “I’m not that into you.”

I am so failing to understand this. My guess would be something along the lines of immaturity mixed with a strange understanding of how the world works (ie: that his behavior is okay because of whatever rationale he formed in his head to explain it away,) because he’s not giving me, “GO AWAY” signals. He’s giving me the exact opposite.

If I had said, “Yes, I am angry,” when he asked me if I was mad, would that have helped? Not really into lying, but still…Seriously.

WHAT is going on??? (more…)

A female chubby chaser?

by The Last Honest Guy

Ok… so I’ve been talking to and really enjoying this great guy I met through friends, my only issue is that he’s considerably larger than me, I’m 5’4, 105 lbs, he’s 6’0, 300+ (I’m bad a judging guy weight but he’s pretty huge), I don’t really know how any of the physical stuff would work….. HELP!! (more…)