Women sometimes wonder why men make certain assumptions about them when they first meet in person after hooking up via an online dating website.  Often the explanation has to do with very minor details (subtleties) contained in the woman’s online dating profile.  The tiniest details may seem insignificant to the woman writing the profile, yet can be interpreted quite differently by us men.

I’ve seen a ton of online dating profiles.  Some are well-written, others are not at all.  There are really four parts to pay keen attention to when a woman is writing her profile:

1)     Your Screen Name

2)     Your Catch Phrase

3)     The wording of the profile itself

4)     The photos you post of yourself

Your Screen Name or handle or login name or whatever you want to call it is critical – as it can easily make a statement.   For example, if you call yourself “Ms. Action” – that conveys a certain wild woman message.  Or if you call yourself “GoodGirl” – then you are projecting high moral values.  These are extreme examples, and I could give many more – but the idea here is for you to pick your screen name strategically … give it a lot of thought … and think “what could be the worst way someone could interpret this name?” before you pick it.   I used to use the screen name “Grrreg” which is “Greg” with a growl.  ha ha   Although I remember one woman read it differently, and asked if I had a stuttering problem!

Your Catch Phrase is typically the headline you have for your online dating profile.  Just like your screen name, you have to choose it carefully and strategically – and be sure that it cannot be misinterpreted.  Different online dating websites allow shorter or longer catch phrases – you typically want to create something short yet inviting … one that will make the reader want to know more about you.   Let’s say you are a good girl looking for a long-term relationship, you might initially think “Looking for Love in LA” would be good … but that could very easily be misinterpreted.   You could improve that by adding the word “True” to it … “Looking for True Love in LA”, or “Good Girl Seeks True Love in LA”.   Always keep everything in your online profile light and positive … you definitely want to avoid any exclusionary language, as it will make you sound like a bitch (sorry!).

The wording of the profile itself needs to also be carefully thought out.  Stay upbeat and positive – and try to convey at least three things about yourself to the reader.  Be very careful how you use certain words that can be misinterpreted … such as “fun” or “love”, etc.   After you’ve written your profile, re-read it with your pervert hat on … and think to yourself, what is worst possible way someone could interpret this?   If there is ANYTHING that could remotely be misinterpreted, then clean it up before you post it.

The photos you publish of yourself are also extremely critical.  You want to look good – but watch for messages your photos could convey.  For example, if you post photos of yourself holding a martini in a bar, then you could expect someone to think you are party girl who is ready for action.  Ditto if you are wearing a short skirt and high heels in your photo.  I’m not saying you should look Pentecostal … just be mindful of the subtle messages your online photos could convey to someone who doesn’t know you.

Remember – men and women typically see everything completely different.  Most of us men tend to think with our anatomy first and foremost … so keep that in mind with respect to everything you include in your online dating profile AND in your email exchanges with your potential suitors.  If you notice any incorrect assumptions from a guy who is interested in you, I suggest you set him straight immediately in a very nice way … but don’t give any second chances.  If you notice that different men repeatedly draw incorrect conclusions about you, it might be a good idea to revisit everything in your profile … maybe even get one of your male friends to help you go over it.  Good luck ladies!

Special Thanks to my friend Greg Smith for this great article: