I have been dating my boyfriend for a year and 3 months. Lately…I have been suspicious that maybe he wants to cheat. One day he left his Facebook on my laptop and I thought it was mine so I checked my messages whose were really his. I found him asking an old neighborhood friend of his to grab a coffee one day and catch up. He would get so mad at me if I was thinking about doing that.
I know I shouldn’t be doing this but I went through his phone. I have read many girls from his work calling him “babe” and he replied to one calling her “sweetie”. I also caught this message by someone awhile ago and Im not sure if he read it yet cause he never replied it said: “Hey babes, I assume you’re sleeping but I really need to talk for a sec so text me when you wake up its kind of a funny story xox”
That was def within the time of our dating. I am just really worried because he broke up with his crazy girlfriend who was over weight, for me. I notice myself gaining weight since we started dating and therefore i am getting more self conscience everyday. He is a gorgeous 19 year old young man. He’s a charmer, he’s friendly and I don’t know how to confront him because i don’t want him thinking I am jealous or I don’t want him to ignore his faults…..I just need help?! (more…)
I have been dating a guy for the past 6 years. We started dating in high school, and then went away to separate colleges. Even though it hasn’t been very serious for the past 5 years, we’ve stayed really close and haven’t dated other people. He is my best friend. We thought that after graduating college we could figure things out, but I was offered a great job in Atlanta, and he was offered a great job in Minnesota.
So, here we are, still in a long distance relationship 5 years later. For some reason, since graduation, this has been even more difficult. We’re both very practical people, and we realize that at 23, we’re just too young to start making sacrifices for each other. Neither of us is situated in a place we want to be long-term, and we’re both probably going to get promoted and/or have to move within this year, 2012. With the past year getting tougher and tougher on us because of the distance, we’re growing apart. Its not anyone’s fault, it’s just difficult to really be a part of each other’s lives when we see each other only once every 1-2 months.
The problem right now for me isn’t exactly the distance. For me it has been hard to get over his lack of commitment to a plan. I am 100% ok with where we are now as young adults, as long as we have a long term plan that doesn’t involve distance. We need to have an end-point. I proposed that sometime during the year 2013 (we will both be 24 at that point) that I move to wherever he is (after I find a job). I don’t want to move in with him or anything, I just want to be able to have a normal relationship with him. For me, its frustrating to be dating someone for 6 years, and not be further along in our relationship. For him, the problem IS the distance and on top of the distance, he is really not in the mindset to be in a committed serious relationship right now.
He told me that he loves me, and he’s only in this relationship right now because he sees us being together in the future, but mentally right now he feels he shouldn’t be in a serious relationship because he can’t give it the time commitment and consideration it deserves. But, he knows that if we break up, we probably won’t get back together, and he doesn’t want to lose me. He just feels like he’s not mature enough to be settling down, and there are a lot of things he wants to do as a young adult that he knows he won’t be able to do if he has to make sacrifices right now. I actually get it. I’m not upset with him for how he feels. I respect the fact that he is being honest with me.
The problem is, neither of us wants to break up. I’m not sure if I should:
A: wait it out, hope its not years before he feels ready for the commitment; or
B: break up with him and try to move on.
He is a really good person, and he honestly is a great boyfriend right now. He works extremely long weeks but he still calls and texts me every day when he has free time. I’m scared to let things go on like this knowing how he feels right now, but I’m also scared to let him go. I don’t want to settle down right now either, I just want more security in our relationship, and I know he can’t give that to me right now. (more…)
So, my partner (30) and I recently got engaged after being together just over a year. Over the last few months he has been messaging his ex quite a bit. If I walk near him while he’s messaging her he shuts off his phone quickly. I took him overseas recently and he spent a full night texting her while we were over there, just prior to leaving he was laying in bed with me – messaging her. I also know that he hasn’t told her about our engagement. In a few months he will be on course for work for about 5 months – in the same location as her, and she has invited him over for drinks and to stay the night – which I read over his shoulder while in bed and he said he couldn’t wait. I hate being the jealous girlfriend type but at the same time, I don’t trust her because I don’t know her. I also fear that something will happen because they had quite the adventurous sex life (as the photos on his computer tell me) while ours is much quieter. Do I have a right to be angry and say something or should I just be smothering any of these thoughts and pretend not to care?
I recently reconnected with a male friend from college 20 yrs ago via linkedin. While never dated, we had a strong attraction to each other over those 4 yrs which did occasionally get physical. In his email back to me a month ago he told me to let him know if I was ever in phila. We could get together I wad there on business the past two days so i let him know 3 days in advance. He responded and asked me what time would be good I never heard from him the rest of the day I got an email from him at 11 pm saying he was sorry but the day got away from him. He asked if I would be around the next day so we could catch up I responded again with times and again never heard back. So my question is what message is he sending me? Why offer twice and not reply back to me? He could have apologized and left. It at that. Should I say anything to him or will that make it worse? We are both married with kids. (more…)
I’m at a loss, here. I’m trying not to be angry so I don’t push him away. The problem is, he looks at porn every time I’m away. I’m talking when I’m asleep, showering, walking the dog, getting dressed for work, cooking dinner, talking to the neighbor on the porch, running to the bank, at work, etc. He looks at hentai and, although not always, masturbates whenever he gets the chance. He’s done it while I nap on the sofa in the same room. Many times he does this only hours after turning down sex with me. He says he loves me and finds me attractive, but I feel like I must be revolting if he’d rather have his hand. We moved in together about 6 months ago and had sex up to 3 times a day until we got internet. Today is day 5 w/o sex. I came home from work and, even though I could barely keep my eyes open, made several attempts at intimacy. He shrugged off each try. We went to bed and I tried again. He pretended to be falling asleep, but got up as soon as I fell asleep and spent the next few hours looking at porn and, from the subtle evidence he failed to hide, I know he got off. I feel rejected and unattractive. I’ve tried asking him about fantasies, but how do I role play a gel girl? Help, please. (more…)
My husband and I have been married for over two years, and have been together for almost 7 years. I have always trusted my husband and we have been able to be honest about everything. Or so I had thought. Recently, I was loading digital pictures to the computer. When I was looking for the file to save them to, I came across a photo file labeled “stuff”. I clicked it and found several pornographic pictures. Now, this is not what I have the concern about. My husband has been honest about the fact that he looks at pornography. He even keeps his collection of Playboys on a bookshelf in our office. But, within this file was a file of non-pornographic pictures of women he knows. Some are co-workers of his, some are friends and there are even some pictures of his last serious ex girlfriend. Now, these are not old pictures. Some were saved as recently as last month ( I know this because they include pictures of a pregnant friend who just recently had her baby.) These are pictures that he has saved from their Facebook pages. I understand that some people often fantasize about people they know, but should I be concerned that he has a file of these photos? He has always told me that he was once cheated on by a girlfriend, so he would never cheat, but am I wrong to feel that this is a violation of trust, too? And how do I tell him that I know about this file. I have never felt the need to snoop through his stuff, but now I don’t know what to trust. I would love to hear your opinion of the situation. Thank you! (more…)