So, my partner (30) and I recently got engaged after being together just over a year. Over the last few months he has been messaging his ex quite a bit. If I walk near him while he’s messaging her he shuts off his phone quickly. I took him overseas recently and he spent a full night texting her while we were over there, just prior to leaving he was laying in bed with me – messaging her. I also know that he hasn’t told her about our engagement. In a few months he will be on course for work for about 5 months – in the same location as her, and she has invited him over for drinks and to stay the night – which I read over his shoulder while in bed and he said he couldn’t wait. I hate being the jealous girlfriend type but at the same time, I don’t trust her because I don’t know her. I also fear that something will happen because they had quite the adventurous sex life (as the photos on his computer tell me) while ours is much quieter. Do I have a right to be angry and say something or should I just be smothering any of these thoughts and pretend not to care?
Look, that kind of disrespect is something I would never tolerate from anyone. Have some self-respect and put a stop to it. At this point I really think you should dump him and just learn from this bad experience.
If he’s going to be near his ex without you to stop him from doing anything with her, you should consider it a fact that he will go over and sleep with her. There’s no doubt in mind he will do it.
Yes, you have the right to question him about all the texting but you’re only really going to force him to be more careful and find other ways to hide his conversations from you if you do it.
If you want to just put him to the test and let him go on this trip just to later find concrete evidence of his infidelity you can but you will just be hurting yourself more.
Hope this helps,
The Last Honest Guy