I’m 51 and I’ve been dating a newly divorced man. He’s only been divorced for 3 months and although been out on dates, I’m the first he’s dated for any length of time (about 6 weeks) We have spent nights together and done pretty much everything except have actual intercourse. He says he told himself he was not doing that for at least 3 months. I don’t get it because essentially we have been having other forms of sex. Any ideas as to what’s going on?
You didn’t mentioned the age of the man but i’m assuming that he’s close in age to you. With that said I think a man that has been out of “The Game” for this long can be a bit insecure and nervous about himself in the bedroom. I would say it’s probably a similar feeling to being a teenager and being with a woman for the first time. The best thing to do here is respect his wishes and wait another 6 weeks until he’s ready. In the event that you reach this point and he is still not wanting to go all the way with you, I would have a conversation with him about it and be prepare to leave him if he’s still doesn’t want any intercourse. That would be kind of weird.
I liked what honest guy had to say about the man being insecure so soon after his divorce. As an author on relationships, and a woman who divorced her first husband after 15 years of marriage, the last thing I wanted was a serious relationship. I needed time to understand what happened, why and how to correct the mistakes so I wouldn’t repeat them. I can’t imagine a man wanting a relationship with pressure so soon after his divorce. He may be looking for companionship or friendship, not an intimate relationship. Again, I agree with honest guy, be a friend, talk to each other and get to know each other as friends……..sex comes later and has nothing to do with love.
Thanks for sharing your personal experience on the subject.
As a newly divorced man, it sounds to me as though he wants to take this next step slow. He probably never cheated on his ex wife when they were married, so if you really care for this man, cut him some slack, don’t rush him, or he will begin to have some “mixed emotions” about you and his sex with you.That in itself would be a big problem in your new relationship…..He doesn’t want to be rushed, it is obvious, so take things slow..This is something new for this newly divorced man…The world isn’t ending tomorrow, sweetie, you both have TIME..Good luck to you both.
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