I will make this as short as I possible can… I will call the man I am speaking of “Tony” when referring to him. Before now, Tony and I knew each other on a “hi/bye” level for several years.. We have mutual friends so throughout the years we would run into each other from time to time… A few times he made comments to me like “If you were single, you’d be my girl” but I never paid much attention to it. In August 2012, I requested to be his friend on facebook and immediately I received a message from him. We exchanged phone numbers and have been “friends since.” He asked me out several times before I finally gave in one morning when he asked me to breakfast. He would send me good morning texts just about everyday as well as text me multiple times throughout the day. About two months into our “friendship” and 3 dates later, I slept by his house and I slept w/him…I never had a bad intuition about it or anything… He called the next day, and the next and things continued good… He attended my birthday party, he seemed interested in my life and my opinions on things, he remembers the little things, blah, blah, blah… And I strarted to grow feeling for him.. Through the months of us talking, we have gone to eat or have a drink several times and continued seeing each other… Not once did we talk about “us.” As time past, I could feel him fading away/losing interest… Instead of texting everyday, it would be maybe once every 2 or 3 days… but never did he go more than 4 or 5 days w/o being in contact. Sometimes if I didnt hear from him for a day or two I would contact him.. Everytime he came back around I would be right there and everytime he would ask me to do something I would say yes.. I finally decided to tell him that I have realized that I put myself in a position where I am going to get hurt and that if I was going to continue to “give myself” to someone, I expected to be worth their time and effort.. I did not give him an ultimatum nor was I demanding, I was just expressing how I felt..He responded by saying he is so glad that I am honest and he would want nothing less that for me to be honest but that he is just not ready for a relationship. He went on to say that he recently got out of a long relationship and he had a bad taste in his mouth for ladies and that I opened his eyes.. blah blah! I told him I understood and completely respected the way he felt and agreed to remain friends. Unfortunately, I did the stupidest thing ever and have slept with him twice since! He still keeps in touch but not nearly as much. I have pulled back within the last week and have not contacted him at all. I just need a mans opinion on a few things…. What should I do that would give me the best chance to potentially have something with him? or am I kidding myself? Is he playing me like a fiddle and laughing at me or is he emotionally unavailable ? What do you suggest I do that would result in him having respect for me but also realizing that I do care for him but wont be played for a fool? (or is it too late for all that?)
The number one way to get a guy’s attention is to make him feel like he’s losing what he thinks he has won already. What I mean, is that you need to stop “giving it up” every time he wants it. Also, I suggest you act like you’re not interested in him anymore and stop calling him. Once he gets your point he will start trying to get your attention again and you will once again have a chance to make him value you by making him earn his privileges with you again. If he doesn’t pursuit you anymore that means he is no longer interested in you as a girlfriend. Don’t get the fact that he’s willing to sleep with you for wanting to be your boyfriend. Every guy wishes he can find a friend with benefits. That’s what you are right now.