Step 3- Choose people while doing activities you enjoy (from the 7 easy and simple steps to finding the right person to marry)
It’s important to choose people while doing activities you enjoy because that guarantees that you both will have something in common right from the beginning. To go a step further, let me specify that a better idea is to meet people that are doing activities that show traits you might be looking for in a mate and start thinking more long-term rather than short-term.
In order to begin looking for people that match your ideal spouse you have to really sit down and define what you’re looking for. This requires you to know exactly what you want in order to start looking for it. The best way I can explain this is to literally make a list of what you wish your ideal partner would be like. Keep in mind that this is when you get to be picky, it’s OK but keep it realistic. I do believe that anything you can think of is probably out there somewhere, but the more specific you are the harder it will be to find. But not impossible.
While making that list you should:
- Write down all the characteristics you want in a person. Write as many as you can and don’t be shy.
- In a separate sheet of paper (or new word document) make two columns and label one “Must Have” and the other one “Should Have”.
- This is the tricky steps, start separating all the characteristics you wrote down in the first page and determine which ones belong to each category. You must be realistic and know that most likely you won’t be able to find a person that has them all, unless you’re really lucky. If you’re determine to find the person that has all of them you might need to learn to be very patient.
When you separate the “must’s” from the “should’s” really be honest to yourself and think about it. Be realistic (I can’t stress that enough) and keep it simple. You should be thinking about things that are important to you and put them under the “must “ column. This might include; religious views, education and career goals, cultural background, and passions in life that are important to you.
In the “should” column you should list the things that would be nice if a person have them but you could live without. Remember that marriage is about compromising, learning to live together and doing things for one another. I’m sure if a person really loves you they would be happy to do things for you but you should be willing to do the same for them.
After doing this properly it should be fairly simple to try to only date people that have these traits in them naturally. By only dating people you meet while doing the things you love, you will put yourself one step ahead and will ensure they have potential of being a life-long partner.
Think of it as applying for a job.
When an employer wants to hire someone, they will list the minimum requirements to make you eligible to apply for the position other wise they won’t even look at the application. Then they’ll interview you and if that goes well, they’ll offer you a position. Usually there’s a probation period that last anywhere between 3-6 months before making you a permanent employee.
A serious relationship is no different. Making your “must have” list is essentially the minimum requirements in order to even think of dating someone. After you find someone who meets this requirements you date for a few months (interview). If you think this is still a potential candidate, you can become exclusive and be a couple for as long as you think is necessary until you feel you know him well enough to start thinking about marriage or a long-term commitment (probation period). Finally, once you’re 100% sure of this person, you can make a serious commitment or marry them (permanent employment). Of course don’t forget to follow the rest of my 7 steps which are also important in order to reach your ultimate goal.
See, there’s a reason why companies go through this process in order to hire people. The ultimate goal is to hire the best possible employee to work for them and this is a proven method that works. Of course it’s not a perfect method and there’s always bad employees that manage to sneak through but at least it gives them a better chance. The same goes to a relationship, sometimes it doesn’t matter what you do you can end up with a bad spouse but at least this gives you a better chance to be successful.
The last thing you want to do is ignore my 7 easy and simple steps to finding the right person to marry and end up with a loser that you’re constantly wishing was different. There’s nothing worse than being with someone who is constantly trying to change you and dragging you to places you don’t want to go and vise versus. It only creates problems and ruins the relationship. So why not just find someone who already share the same interests as you.