Should You Make the First Move or Wait For Him? The Truth About Mixed Signals and French Romance

Should You Make the First Move or Wait For Him? The Truth About Mixed Signals and French Romance

Gender

Female

Age

24 years old

Race

French

Question:

Hi,
Thank you for taking the time to read my question!

I’m from Europe and right now I’m living in France, in Bordeaux.
I don’t want to brag, but I’m quite good-looking (I think it’s important for the story :/), and as you may know, in France, sleeping around is a normal thing.

So there was a guy. He first texted me on Instagram in January last year. He found me from Tinder. Sure, he was hot, but as we continued texting, I realized I didn’t want to have sex with him because he was quite pushy, and I don’t really like “pretty boys.” At that moment, I was also having “dates” with a very cool Spanish guy.
So I told him to delete me from his chat.

Then one time in March, I decided to see the guy again after a couple more messages from him (let’s call him T). He wanted to come directly to my place (or for me to go to his), but I asked to meet at a bar first because I wanted to talk. Honestly, I was sure I wouldn’t like him — I just wanted something to do that night.

But sweet Jesus… he wasn’t just eye candy; he was ultra sweet. After a while, he even got shy, started speaking quietly, and couldn’t look me in the eyes. He said he likes Sansa a lot (from Game of Thrones) and that I look like her. We went to my place and, yes, we had sex. It was cool. Afterward, he grabbed me and put my head on his chest. We stayed like that. He asked when he should leave and I said “now.” I can be stone-hearted sometimes.
For context, in messages I had already told him I wouldn’t stay the night at his place if we ever had sex.

Then I drew a flower on his nipple, and when he left he hugged me.

Two days later, he texted asking if I wanted to see him again.

But because of really bad timing, we didn’t see each other for a whole month. Then one evening we finally met. I came to his place, the sex was really good, and afterward we just cuddled. I was probably a bit sad though, because a week later he texted me asking if everything was okay — maybe he hurt me (he was talking about the sex).

Then we met again another month later. I know… the time gaps are bad, but we really couldn’t meet. I was in the hospital, and he’s a little motherf***er busy too.
I came to his hometown (I didn’t tell him I came for him). We had sex in his childhood home without a condom and it was awesome. We kissed during sex, he touched me a lot, and while he was driving me to his place, he kept saying “Look what you make me do.” He held my hand when we entered the house. It was very late and we needed to be quiet because of his family (teenagers haha).

After that, I left for Corsica for two months. He kissed me goodbye, and it kind of felt like we would meet again after the summer.

We didn’t really keep in touch, but he wrote to me halfway through the summer. He said he liked me, but he felt like he didn’t have the right to. I replied that I hadn’t decided yet.
I wouldn’t have been so cold, but he’s not exactly soft either. We could’ve met more often…

Then one week before I came back, he started writing to me a lot and seemed really excited. When I came back, I saw him and it went very well. He texted me after.

But the problem is, after seeing each other, he didn’t ask to see me again. When I finally did ask, he said that if I had asked him 20 minutes earlier, he would’ve said yes — and I got very angry. I didn’t say anything, but for me it was over. Too much back-and-forth. Even though it feels so real to me and I’ve never liked someone this much, it’s so frustrating. It feels like he’s the one, and I know he likes me too — but probably not enough.

After three weeks, I replied to him again, but we didn’t meet because he didn’t confirm. I know it sounds bad… He found me on Snapchat but I didn’t accept his request.

And then after one week (it’s holidays so he’s not in the city), he wrote to me very late (he’s not a late-night person), asking if I was still in Bordeaux. I said I didn’t fly to the moon yet — it was funny. Then he asked if I had a boyfriend and why I don’t want one. Seriously??? My heart was beating so fast.
I asked him why he’s single, and after a while he replied that he hasn’t found someone yet and he doesn’t really want to.

So that was the end of my beating heart. How am I supposed to understand this?

You’re probably going to say I should respect myself more or something, but I do. I always have. It’s just that I like him so much, and for me that’s rare. I can’t just let it go. And I know he likes me too. Who kisses a girl after sex just for fun? Well, maybe French people do… but he seems so natural, always looking me in the eyes, and he seems a bit shy.

So be honest: should I make a move so he understands how I feel, or should I wait for him to figure it out?

Thank you so much, I’ll be waiting!

Answer:

All right — you wrote a whole movie script, so let me break this down in the simplest, most honest way possible.

First, I can tell exactly the type of woman you are.
You’re beautiful, you get a lot of attention, you know you’re desirable, and you’re used to men orbiting around you. Nothing wrong with that — it’s just the reality. You even mentioned it yourself. And because of that, you’ve gotten comfortable giving mixed signals and assuming the guy you like will just… wait.

But here’s what you’re forgetting:

Beautiful women have options.
Handsome men do too.
And he sounds like one of those men.

You’re dealing with a guy who’s good-looking, has attention from other women, and isn’t sitting at home crying because you disappeared for a month. Just like you have admirers on standby, he probably has the same. It’s an even playing field.

Now let’s talk about the pattern you’ve created:

You sleep with him…
Then you disappear for a month.
He reaches out…
You don’t put effort.
You both vanish for weeks at a time…
And then when you reconnect, it feels magical again.

That’s not love.
That’s chemistry mixed with inconsistency.

And here’s the important part:

If you really liked him the way you say you do, you would NOT go one month without sending a single message.

Not in 2025.
Not with Instagram, texting, Snapchat, memes, voice notes…
You could’ve sent ONE tiny sign of life.

But you didn’t.
Not once — multiple times.

You call yourself “stone-hearted.”
He calls himself “shy.”
That’s a very bad combination.

A shy guy won’t chase a woman who keeps going missing.
He’ll simply assume you don’t care.

Meanwhile, you’re over here thinking,
“Why doesn’t he make more effort?”

Because your mixed signals have him completely confused.

You tell him to delete you.
Then you say yes to seeing him.
Then you ghost.
Then you show up at his hometown.
Then you vanish for months.
Then you get mad when he doesn’t ask to see you faster.

You’re not dealing with an idiot — he’s reacting exactly how any reasonable man would react:

He likes you…
But not enough to fight for someone who keeps disappearing.

So to answer your question:

YES. You should’ve made a move months ago.
You should’ve been straightforward.
You should’ve stopped hiding behind “bad timing” and actually shown interest.

In today’s world, women say they want equality — good. That also means being direct when you like a guy. That means sending the first message sometimes. That means giving him clearer signs, especially if he’s shy.

You don’t have to throw yourself at him.
You just need to stop acting like he can read your mind.

Because here’s the truth you’re avoiding:
You like him more than he likes you right now — not because he doesn’t feel anything, but because your inconsistency made him stop trusting it.

If you want something with him, stop waiting.
Stop guessing.
Stop expecting him to do all the work while you disappear for weeks.

Message him.
Be clear.
Make the move.

Just understand this:

If you keep doing the disappearing act,
you won’t just lose him —
you’ll push him straight into the arms of a woman who actually shows interest.

Good luck.

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Why He’s Not Talking to You After an Argument (And What It Really Means)

Why He’s Not Talking to You After an Argument (And What It Really Means)

Gender

Female

Age

35 years old

Race

African

Question:

What does it mean when a guy stops talking to you after an argument, even when I try to reach out to him?

Answer:

All right, let’s not overcomplicate something that’s actually very simple.

If a guy gets mad during an argument and then completely stops talking to you — even when you’re trying to reach out — it means one thing:

You pushed him too far.

Somewhere along the way, you took him for granted.
You thought he would always be there, no matter what you said, how you talked to him, or how you treated him.
And now you’re shocked that he finally hit his limit.

Here’s the truth:
A man doesn’t go silent unless he’s done.

You hurt him in a way he didn’t expect from you.
You disrespected him on a level that made him lose interest, lose respect, and lose the desire to fix things.

You thought you had more power in this relationship than you actually did.
You thought you could argue, blow up, say whatever you wanted, and then just call or text later and everything would magically go back to normal.

But guess what?

Not this time.

When a man completely shuts down, stops responding, and doesn’t care to hear your apologies, it means he’s checked out emotionally.
He’s not waiting for you.
He’s not thinking about how to fix things.
He’s not replaying the fight in his head.

He’s done.

And here’s the part you don’t want to hear:
If you don’t even understand what you did to cause this, that says a lot.

It means you’ve been so focused on your own feelings that you never stopped to think about his.
You didn’t pay attention to how your words hit him.
You didn’t consider how your behavior affected him.
You didn’t bother to understand him.

So now you’re confused… because you never took the time to understand who he really is.

The bottom line is simple:
You crossed a line.
He reached his breaking point.
And now he’s acting like someone who no longer wants to be part of your life — because that’s exactly how he feels.

Hard to hear, but that’s the truth.

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Long Distance Relationship Tips & Advice: What You (And He) Really Need to Know

Long Distance Relationship Tips & Advice: What You (And He) Really Need to Know

Let’s start with the truth most people don’t want to hear.

If you can avoid a long-distance relationship, don’t be in one.

Yeah, I said it.

You can trust him, love him, pray over him, manifest him, whatever…
A long-distance relationship with a man is still a terrible idea.

Relationships are hard enough when you’re in the same city.
Now add three states, two time zones, and zero physical connection?
Congratulations — you just signed up for the hardest version of something that’s already difficult for most people to handle.

And before you tell me “But my situation is different,” let me stop you right there.

A man is only as faithful as his options.
That’s not an insult. That’s biology, opportunity, and reality all holding hands.

And if he’s young?
The likelihood of him staying faithful drops even more. Not because he’s a bad guy — because temptation is everywhere and self-control isn’t exactly a strong suit for most men in their early 20s.

And listen…
Women get cheated on every day in normal relationships where they can pull up to his house in 10 minutes.
Now imagine trying to keep a guy faithful when he knows you can’t show up — even if you wanted to.

So yeah, the number one piece of advice?

Don’t get into a long-distance relationship on purpose. Ever.
It’s not romantic. It’s not cute. It’s not destiny.
It’s a headache wrapped in a heartbreak waiting to happen.


When You End Up Long Distance But Didn’t Choose It

Now let’s talk about the other type of long-distance relationship — the only one that gets a pass.

Sometimes life happens.
Maybe your relationship started normally and then suddenly he had to move for work.
Or a family emergency.
Or school.
Or something unexpected that neither of you planned for.

When that happens?
That’s different.
You didn’t sign up for the chaos — it landed on your doorstep.

If that’s your situation, here’s the first rule:


Make the Distance Temporary

Long distance without a deadline is torture.

There has to be a plan.
A timeline.
A clear end point.

If the distance lasts forever, the relationship won’t.

A couple months? Fine.
A year with no end in sight? That’s emotional limbo.

If you want help figuring out whether this relationship even has a future, read How to Know If Your Long Distance Relationship Will Last.


Don’t Confuse Vacation Chemistry With Real Compatibility

If you fell for a guy on a trip — Cancun, Vegas, Miami, wherever — and now you’re thinking about doing long distance?

Stop.

Vacation energy makes everyone seem perfect.
Don’t turn a week of good vibes into a two-year long-distance delusion.
Be smarter than that.


The Must-Have Foundation If You’re Forced Into Long Distance

If long distance wasn’t your choice, here’s what actually keeps it alive — not the Pinterest version, the real “from a man” version.


Communication Is the Relationship

When physical presence disappears, communication becomes everything.

Your texts, your calls, your updates, your FaceTimes — these aren’t “extra effort.”
They’re oxygen.

If you stop talking, you stop existing in each other’s daily world.
It really is that simple.

If you’re confused about how often you should talk, read How Often Should You Talk in a Long Distance Relationship?
It will save you from overthinking.


If He Won’t Let You Visit, Something’s Wrong

If he’s gone for more than 30 days, you should visit.

If he refuses?
If every explanation is vague?
If there are always excuses?

That’s not logistics.
That’s avoidance.

A man who cares makes space for you.
A man who doesn’t will hide behind “bad timing.”


Keep Intimacy Alive (Yes, Even the Spicy Kind)

We’re adults.
We’re not pretending physical attraction doesn’t matter.

Sending pictures, videos, or having those private FaceTime moments?
That’s part of a real long-distance relationship.

If you don’t do anything to keep that connection alive, and he’s asking for it, the relationship will feel disconnected fast.

That’s not being “too sexual.”
That’s being realistic.


Don’t Become Insecure or Start Fights Out of Boredom

Here’s something most women don’t realize:

When he’s away, his life changes dramatically.
Yours doesn’t.

He’s busy with work, family, responsibility — whatever pulled him away.
You’re home missing him.

And missing someone often creates insecurity.

But insecurity?
That’s gasoline in a long-distance relationship.

Blowing up his phone, accusing him, starting fights out of loneliness — all of that makes the distance worse and pushes him away.

If he is acting distant, don’t panic. Read Why Men Pull Away in Long Distance Relationships
You’ll understand exactly what’s going on in his head.

Stay confident.
Stay grounded.
Don’t become the reason the relationship falls apart.


10 Practical Tips To Make Long Distance Work

Here are the actual, real-world tips that keep long distance alive — straight talk, no fluff.


1. Set Real Date Nights

Pick a day.
Pick a time.
Stick to it.

Men commit better when things feel structured.
If you need inspiration, here are Virtual Date Ideas for Long Distance Relationships that actually feel natural.


2. Choose Video Over Text

Men bond visually.
Seeing your face keeps him connected in ways texting never will.


3. Send Small Surprises

A snack.
A handwritten note.
A hoodie with your perfume.

These hit harder than you think.


4. Build Your Own Life

Nothing is more attractive than a woman who isn’t sitting on her couch waiting for a phone call.


5. Visit Each Other, Even if It’s Rare

Real-life memories carry you through the dry stretches.


6. Be Honest Without Overloading Him

You can express your feelings.
Just don’t turn every call into an emotional dump.


7. Address Jealousy Early

Say it calmly, not aggressively.
Men shut down when they feel attacked.

If jealousy is coming from your gut and not your imagination, read Emotional Cheating in Long Distance Relationships
It explains the real signs to look for.


8. Respect Schedule Differences

If you know his work hours and time zone, don’t fight the reality of it.
Work around each other’s lives.


9. Use Technology to Stay Connected

Watch shows together.
Send voice notes.
Play games.
Share daily moments.

Digital bonding is still bonding.


10. Have a Real Plan for When the Distance Ends

If he never talks about the future, it’s because he doesn’t see one.
Believe what he shows you.


Conclusion

Long-distance relationships aren’t soft, magical, romantic fairytales. They’re hard work. They require communication, confidence, connection, and a realistic plan to eventually be in the same city again.

If you can avoid long distance, avoid it.
If life forces you into it, face it with clarity, confidence, and commitment — not insecurity and chaos.

And above all, remember this:
You deserve a relationship that brings you peace, not anxiety.

If you’re unsure about your own situation, drop it in the comments. I’ll tell you the truth — even if it stings a little.

Got questions or need advice about your relationship? Drop them below. Who knows, I might just answer them in my next post.

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15 Best Christmas Gifts for Your Boyfriend or Husband in 2025 (By Budget)

15 Best Christmas Gifts for Your Boyfriend or Husband in 2025 (By Budget)

Finding the perfect Christmas gift for your boyfriend or husband in 2025 doesn’t have to be stressful. Whether he loves tech, accessories, grooming, or everyday essentials, this curated list of Amazon gifts — divided by price — makes shopping simple. These are men’s best-selling gifts that women consistently search for, making them perfect for holiday shoppers who want something he’ll actually use and love.

Gifts for Him Under $100

1. Sony WH-CH520 Wireless Headphones

Lightweight, long battery life, and great sound quality at an affordable price. Perfect for commuting, workouts, or gaming.

2. PHILIPS Multi Groomer 8000 Series

A stainless steel grooming kit that every man appreciates — perfect for beard shaping, trimming, and detailing.

3. Sony SRS-XB100 Portable Bluetooth Speaker

Powerful bass, compact size, and waterproof — ideal for shower music, travel, or outdoor hangs.

4. Carhartt Men’s Knit Cuffed Plaited Beanie

A classic men’s winter essential — warm, stylish, and durable.

5. JBL Go 3 Portable Bluetooth Wireless Speaker

Small, rugged, and shockingly loud for its size. Great stocking stuffer for guys who love music on the go.

Gifts for Him Between $100 and $150

6. Sony WH-CH720N Noise-Cancelling Headphones

Great noise-cancelling at a mid-range price. Perfect for work, home, and travel.

7. JBL Charge 5 Portable Bluetooth Speaker

One of the best mid-range speakers — waterproof, loud, and perfect for beaches, road trips, and home use.

8. PROOF Wallet

PROOF wallets are what minimalist wallets always should have been.

9. Personalized Whiskey Decanter Set with Engraved Glasses

A personalized compass gift — sentimental and uncommon, perfect for a boyfriend or husband you want to wow.

10. opove M3 Pro 2 Massage Gun

A portable deep-tissue massage device ideal for gym lovers or men with tight muscles.

Gifts for Him Over $150

11. Apple Watch Ultra 3

Fitness tracking, notifications, sleep monitoring — the perfect mix of function and price.

12. Meta Ray-Ban Wayfarer (Gen 1) AI

Tap into timeless style and advanced technology designed to help you move effortlessly through life.

13. TIMEX Expedition North Tide-Temp-Compass Watch

A rugged, masculine field watch with extra features like compass and tide tracking.

14. Oura Ring 4 Ceramic

A modern expression of our revolutionary smart ring technology, blending refined elegance with everyday durability.

15. DEWALT 20V MAX Cordless Drill

This Cordless Brushless Combo Kit is ideal for most drilling and fastening applications. Both the drill/driver and impact driver in DEWALT tool kit are compact in design and excellent for hard to reach areas.

These Amazon picks are some of the best Christmas gift ideas for men in 2025 — practical, stylish, and perfect for boyfriends or husbands. Whether you’re shopping under $100 or going big with a luxury gift, each option here is something he’ll actually be excited to open.

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How to Write a Love Letter for Your Boyfriend in 6 Easy Steps

How to Write a Love Letter for Your Boyfriend in 6 Easy Steps

So, you’ve decided to write a love letter to your boyfriend. Good for you! But let’s be real—if you do this wrong, it’ll end up sounding like something from a bad rom-com, and we both know no guy wants to read that. A great love letter isn’t about being poetic or overly fancy. It’s about being authentic. So put down the Hallmark clichés and grab a pen, because I’m going to help you write something that actually means something.

 

Step 1: Don’t Overthink It—Start with Why

Why are you writing this letter? Are you feeling extra lovey-dovey because he fixed your leaky sink without you asking? Or are you just trying to remind him how much he means to you? Start with a clear purpose. You’re not Shakespeare; you’re just trying to put your feelings into words.

Example Opening:
“Hey Babe, I know I don’t say it enough, but I need you to know how much you mean to me. You’ve made my life better in ways I can’t even explain.”

Short, simple, and straight to the point. No guy is going to roll his eyes at that.

 

Step 2: Keep It Personal (And Skip the Sappy Quotes)

Nobody cares about that Pinterest quote you found. What your boyfriend wants to hear is your voice. Think about what makes your relationship unique. Is it the way he always steals your fries but somehow makes it cute? Or maybe how he gives the world’s worst backrubs but tries anyway? Use those moments.

Add a Personal Memory:
“Remember that time we got lost on the way to that concert, and you turned it into a mini road trip? That’s what I love about you—you make even the most frustrating situations fun.”

This shows that you’re paying attention to the little things. Trust me, guys love that.

 

Step 3: Get Real About Your Feelings (Without Sounding Desperate)

This isn’t the time to hold back, but let’s not go overboard, okay? Be honest, but don’t make it sound like your entire existence revolves around him. He wants a girlfriend, not a love-struck puppy.

Example Middle:
“You’ve shown me what it feels like to be truly cared for. You make me laugh when I want to cry, and you’ve been there for me even when I’m at my worst. I don’t know how you do it, but I’m so thankful you do.”

Boom. You just hit him in the feels without sounding like you’re about to propose.

 

Step 4: Add a Dash of Sexy (Because, Let’s Be Honest, He Loves That)

Let’s cut the crap—guys love to feel wanted, and nothing screams “I want you” like adding a little spice to your love letter. It doesn’t have to be X-rated (unless you’re into that), but a hint of your attraction can go a long way. Trust me, it’ll grab his attention faster than a cold beer and a pizza.

Think about a moment where the chemistry between you was electric. Maybe it’s the way he looks at you when you’re wearing his T-shirt, or how his touch gives you goosebumps. Write something that makes him feel irresistible.

Example:
“You have no idea how hard it is to keep my hands off you when you walk into the room. The way you kissed me last weekend—yeah, I’m still thinking about it, and it’s driving me crazy. Just so you know, you’re the best thing I’ve ever had, in every possible way.”

Pro Tip: If you’re comfortable, add a little teasing line at the end of this section, like: “If you play your cards right, there’s more where that came from.” It’s flirty without being over-the-top, and it’ll leave him counting down the minutes until he sees you again.

Now you’ve got his full attention, both emotionally and… otherwise. You’re welcome.

 

Step 5: Close Strong (And Avoid Corny Endings)

The closing is your last chance to leave an impression, so don’t blow it by writing something cringe like “Forever yours in love and light.” Yikes. Instead, keep it sweet and genuine.

Example Closing:
“I hope this letter reminds you how much you mean to me. You’re my favorite person, and I can’t wait to keep making memories with you.”

Done. No need for dramatic sign-offs. Just end with sincerity and a kiss on the cheek—or wherever you want to kiss him.

 

Step 6: Present It Like a Pro

Now that you’ve written your masterpiece, don’t just toss it at him like a grocery list. Put some thought into how you’ll give it to him. Maybe leave it somewhere he’ll find when he’s not expecting it, like his bag or under his pillow. Or better yet, read it to him if you’re feeling bold. Watching his reaction will be worth it.

 

What Not to Do:

  1. Don’t Copy and Paste from the Internet. He knows you didn’t write, “Your love is the wind beneath my wings.”
  2. Don’t Write a Novel. Keep it to one page. Anything longer, and he’ll skim it faster than Terms & Conditions.
  3. Don’t Overcomplicate It. It’s a love letter, not a college essay.

Final Thoughts: Just Be You

At the end of the day, writing a love letter is about being vulnerable and showing him how you really feel. You don’t need fancy words or a thesaurus to make it special. Just speak from the heart, keep it real, and he’ll appreciate it more than you know.

So get to it! And remember—no guy has ever dumped a girl for being honest about her feelings. Unless he’s a complete idiot, and in that case, he doesn’t deserve you anyway.

 

Got questions or need advice about your relationship? Drop them below. Who knows, I might just answer them in my next post.

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