Hello, there… I’m 43 years old and I’m not so great in reading men. I’m so bad at it, I lost a male friend of 7 yrs. thinking we’re nothing more than friends. We always exchanged gifts for the holidays’ b’days, hung out… nothing fancy always a casual setting. He did say once I was a good woman… I don’t know what those terms mean when it comes from a Man. Such as the guy I’ve been dating for the last 3 yrs -who has said I’m sweet and he thinks the world of me… again what does that mean? And this kissing on the forehead (what am I 2 yrs old). You see, when a man flirts with me, I don’t take much value in what they say… sorry, I don’t.
Please tell me how to tell if a guy is being real or playing, I don’t want to hurt anyone I care about. I feel horrible I, lost this friend for life. I wish I knew how he really felt.
I’ve also been dating another guy, I would say on and off, and when I used those words to him, or say something on the lines he has lost interest in me, he’s says I’m wrong. However, I will say… if I ask him to do something with me other than sex… he does, it may not be right away, yet he does. So, what’s his deal, why is he staying around, for play or is there something more?
Thnx
One thing to understand here is that men in that age bracket are different than men that are younger. I’m guessing you’re dating men who are 40 and above years of age and this also usually means that these men are also on their second time around the block. These men think different and it all has to do with their past experiences.
Here’s the 3 reason why a mature man will not make a move on you:
1. Some men tend to think they’ve been “out of the game” for so long that they feel “rusty” per say.
They’re not quite sure how to act around a single women.
2. Other men actually feel similar to the way women feel after they turn 30. They start feeling like they’re past their prime and start to doubt themselves.
Their physical appearance doesn’t look the way it used to. And sometimes their body parts don’t function the same way they used to, if you know what I mean?
What this translates to is; insecurity
Yes, men do feel insecure. It seems to me that these men you’ve been dating are lacking confidence and that’s why you’re having a hard time understanding them. Traditionally, the older the guy is the more straight forward he is and the less he cares about what you’re going to think of him. But I’m talking about unmarried guys in their 30’s. These men you’ve been dating are coming from a failed marriage which is pretty depressing and at the same time contributes for their lack of confidence.
This explains why they say things like “you’re so sweet and I think the world of you” or “you’re a good women”. They’re pretty much trying to compliment you but at the same time saying it in a way where you won’t think they only want to get laid.
If these men you are dating are not coming from a failed marriage and just haven’t ever been married before than they have some other kind of problem and you should definitely stay away from these kind of men.
3. Lastly, the final reason might be because you’re a smoking hot 43 year old.
In this case, you just intimidate these men and make them feel even more insecure and cause them to not know how to act around you.
What I suggest you do is become the one that makes the moves and basically guide these men to do whatever you want them to do. You have to be straight forward and direct because it’s obvious that they’re not doing it on their own. I know this isn’t something women like to do but at this point this is your only bet. These men are confused and they need your help.
If you start to give them these hints at first, later you might not have to do this anymore because they will feel more comfortable around you and more importantly it will be clear to them what you’re looking for.
So, instead of a kiss on the forehead you might get a kiss on the lips…
If anyone out there has had a similar situation please share with us your experiences.
Okay, you got me. No, they’ve never been married & I won’t date men w/ children either,,, ben there done that, won’t go down that road again. Too much baby momma drama. I’ve been told I come across intimidating, which I disagree with. LOL.. I get kissed on the lips. Men 30 – 40… hmm the guys an Actor, so he better grow some balls then lack of confidence won’t get him an far. Thank you for responding to my question, I love your blog.
P.S. I’m one of the few females who actually cooks.
If you know how to cook, then you’re my kind of girl! That’s a big PLUS and something I can honestly say 99.999999999% of guys adore (there’s always some kind of weirdo out there, lol).
And like I said before, if a guy is in their 40’s or close to it and never been married, you should consider that a red flag. There might be some kind of commitment issue there or something seriously wrong with that guy. Just something to be aware of… 🙂
If you know how to cook, then you’re my kind of girl! That’s a big PLUS and something I can honestly say 99.999999999% of guys adore (there’s always some kind of weirdo out there, lol).
And like I said before, if a guy is in their 40’s or close to it and never been married, you should consider that a red flag. There might be some kind of commitment issue there or something seriously wrong with that guy. Just something to be aware of… 🙂
ok well i have a question..what if a younger guy is acting like this? I’ve been seeing a guy who is 26 and he does the same things. Just lastnight i finally mentioned that i was a bit confused on if he actually liked me or not and he called me a “wonderful gal”. what the heck is that? He was with the same girl for a very long time and he took the break up pretty hard..it’s been a couple years since and he hasn’t had much luck with women..so is he just the young version of the same type of guy?
If he was raised by a single mother then he might just be too respectful to women and don’t know how men are supposed to act around a woman. If he wasn’t, then I think this guy might not be really be into you and he’s just being nice.
“You’re a wonderful gal” It’s not something a man who really likes you responds.
I kind of agree with this, but not all.
My boyfriend broke up with me 2 1/2 months ago saying he thought our relationship was more like a friendship and something was missing, but I didn’t see it coming. In fact the week before he was saying he felt pressured (he’s just about to finalise a nasty divorce) but that he wanted things to get deeper between us. We’ve spoken a few times since and he’s contacted me more than I have him and asks how I am and what I’m up to. He came over nearly 2 weeks ago and we had a laugh and seemed to flirt a little but I’ve not heard from him since. Should I give him space to sort his life and feelings out and wait til he calls, or should I contact him? I’m fairly sure he knows how I feel about him. We went out for a year and a half and we were close and best friends as well as lovers. Please could you give me some advice.
So I’ve been hanging out with this guy whom I met online. We meet at least once or twice a month since around September, so We’ve known each other for about 6 months now. We text almost everyday, him usually reaching out to me. Talk about everyday things, occasionally we flirt. But it’s never escalated to anything more than that. He’s 35, I’m 23. He’s been single for almost a year. I’m having a hard time reading him. Sometimes it seems like he wants more, but yet has never made a move. I don’t consider what we’re doing is dating. My friends say we are. Please, give me your opinion. I just want to get some kind of idea to where this is going.