When a man says the words “I’m confused” after being caught red-handed, he’s basically trying to say “I don’t want to be with you anymore.” He just wants to test you and see if you are willing to put up with his infidelities. Of course most man that cheats wishes they never get caught and when they do they try to talk their way out of it. Saying “I’m confused” is basically saying “let me think about this, because I really don’t want to be with you anymore but let me grow the balls to just say it.”

I’m a firm believer that everything that happens in a relationship or in a marriage is a reflection of the history between the two of them. A lot of the times there’s couples that work through infidelities which is good when the relationship actually has some value that is worth fighting for. At the same time these relationships tend to have a lot of trust issues and with that, a lot of jealousies and constant interrogations. From the outside, someone that doesn’t know the history between the couple may label the jealous person as a “jealous freak” or just simply a “drama queen” but what they don’t know is that all past infidelities are the ones driving these trust issues and the other person has all the rights to be inquisitive about anything they may think is suspicious. The truth is that this is something that takes a really long time to work through and it takes equal cooperation from both parties in order to be successful. I guess what I’m trying to say is that in a long term relationship almost every issue is a reflection of the past and perhaps problems that never got fully resolved and continue to emerge time after time.

If there are ever any reoccurring problems between a couple that never get resolved, chances are that the real reason for it is not being addressed and the odds of fixing it are slim. You can’t find the answer to an issue without knowing the cause of it first.

Now when a man tells you he’s confused about the relationship, you can pretty much kiss your relationship goodbye because it’s OVER. When a man has made the conscious decision to go and be unfaithful and have a relationship with another woman, he is testing the waters elsewhere before calling it quits. Keep in mind that having a one-time affair is different than having a girlfriend on the side. Even though they are both the same act, one involves emotion and the other one doesn’t.

When it comes to men, that is a HUGE difference and it should be the deciding factor for you between fighting for the relationship and just simply moving on. What I’m saying is that if it is a one-time thing, there’s hope but if you find out that he’s emotionally involved with the other woman, there’s nothing you can do at this point but accept it and move on. In most cases there was something missing in the relationship and some of the needs or expectations were not being met. The best thing to do is look back at what you have done right and what you have done wrong and learn from it. Instead of thinking about the loses think about the gains and the experiences you’ve lived that will teach you to make better decisions in the future and find someone who’s a better fit for you.


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