We have been together 3 1/2 yrs. We have a 2 yr old daughter. After we had been together and were moving in together. I found out that his x was actually still his wife. He talks about getting a divorce. There are no children or financial ties with them. He has given me a ring but he makes absolutely no effort to divorce and make our commitment permanent. Part of me wants to kick him out the other part admits I total love him. I just don’t know if I should be more patient or loss and get off the pot.
Essentially the solution to your problem is to determine how important this is to you. If you really don’t want him to be married to someone else (who does?) you should at least first listen to his reasons for not doing so. I really can’t imagine any legitimate reason for not doing so. I meant if he really doesn’t have anything to do with his ex anymore then I can’t really explain any other good reasons.
It’s possible that this could just be one of those things that just thinking about it becomes a drag. Not only does it cost money to get a divorce but it could also be a lengthy process. Like I stated before, I really don’t see a fair justification for not getting a divorce for once and for all.
What I recommend you do is to be firm and tell him how important a divorce is to you and how much it’s really bothering you. Get him to commit to an exact dates if he promises again to get a divorce soon. You can’t settle for promises at this point, you must get him to commit NOW and hold him to it. Make sure you follow through when that date comes and don’t let him come up with any excuses.
The problem you have is that you haven’t been firm enough on your request and have let it go for way too long. So it’s time to change that now. Prepare yourself and decide what you will do in the case he doesn’t keep his word and be ready to do what you have to do at that point. It’s really important that you actually do what you say you’ll do because other wise you’ll never be taken seriously by him.
I hope that helps and keep me updated on the situation. Cheers!