Okay so here is the deal, I’m 17 and I have been in love with the same guy for 3 years… He is my best friend and I can’t go a day without thinking about him, even when I try to put space between us. How do I get over him?


Let’s start by making two things clear, you can’t be best friends and be secretly in love with someone at the same time. However, you can be best friends and be in love with a person only when that person feels the same way about you. Ideally your best friend should ultimately be your spouse. Given that you’re only 17, you shouldn’t be thinking about marriage yet.

I also get the feeling that the only reason why you want to get over this guy is because you think he doesn’t feel the same way about you as you do about him. So, the first step is to make a decision whether you’re willing to lose his friendship in order to get a chance to be with him. As I said before, you can’t have both. Besides, even if he likes you too and you guys get together but later break up, chances are you will lose his friendship then.

What you should do is come clean and reveal your true feelings to him and just see if maybe he feels the same way. By doing this you will let out your feelings and at least have a chance to start dating him if he feels the same way. If he rejects you, then your relationship will change completely and you will start to get over him no matter what.

If you’re determined to save the friendship but still want to get over him you will need to accept the idea that you’re relationship will have to change completely simply because your friendship is only based on the love you have for him.

He’s really not your best friend, that’s just what you want to call him.

The key to getting over someone is to distant yourself from this person and shift your attention to someone or to something else. It’s a good idea to start a new activity and try to keep yourself busy and your mind occupied. The way guys do it is to start banging everything that moves. You as a girl can simply try to date someone else. It really doesn’t matter who but as long as you find some interest in this other person should be enough. It will allow you to keep your mind active and at the same time you’ll get to know someone else who you might even start to like.

Either way if you truly want to get over this guy, you’re relationship will have to change. My recommendation is just to come clean and tell him. Honesty is always the best way to go and this way he won’t be wondering why you have distant yourself from him all of a sudden.


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