Hi there. My question is simple. This afternoon, during a heated argument with the guy I was seeing, he boldly told me that here I was, at 32, with no accomplishments in life, and basically pointed out all my failures.
When I was about to break into tears (I must admit, he kinda hit a nerve), he started questioning me why I looked like I was about to cry. He then said that I shouldn’t be feeling sorry for myself, instead, I should be doing something about the situation.
Maybe what he said was true. But did I deserve to really hear that from him? It felt harsh. Your thoughts on the matter.
In short, yes. Even you admit that what he said was true. SO GET YOUR ASS UP AND DO SOMETHING WITH YOUR LIFE. You’re not old and even old people often decide to turn their life around.
On the other hand, I do believe that there are many ways of sending the same message to someone and some perhaps are more appropriate than others. Maybe he could have told you to do something with your life in a way that wouldn’t hurt your feelings.
Given that you guys were in the middle of a heated argument I wouldn’t expect him to say things in a nice way. Let’s be real here, not even you would stop to think twice about what you’re about to say if you’re angry at the time. It happens to almost everybody and it’s hard to watch what you say when you’re mad.
My advice to you is to make an assessment of the entire relationship and determine if the guy you’re with is worth staying with.
Things to consider:
Is he verbally abusive on a regular basis?
On a scale of 1-10, how well does he treat you?
Does he fit your idea of an ideal husband/partner?
Are you only with this person because you don’t think you can find someone better?
Are you only with this person because he used to be a lot nicer when you were first dating?
Do you honestly see a bright future with this person?
If the answer to all or most the questions above were NOT in his favor, then get the hell out of that relationship immediately. Stop wasting your time and move on. By the way, while you’re at it, do something with your life and show him that you’ve accomplished everything you wanted. There’s no better joy then to prove people who put you down wrong. Just do it.