Do you hang up on your boyfriend?
Is It Disrespectful to Hang Up on Your Boyfriend? Here’s the Honest Truth
Hanging up on your boyfriend happens way more often than people admit.
One argument starts, tempers rise, and boom — someone hits that red button.
And just like that, the conversation ends… but the problem doesn’t.
Here’s the real truth from a man:
Hanging up is one of the most disrespectful things you can do during an argument.
It kills communication, it escalates conflict, and it makes both people feel unheard and disrespected.
Whether you do it or he does it, the meaning is the same.
Why Hanging Up Is a Big Deal (Even If You Think “It’s Not That Serious”)
A relationship is built on:
communication
trust
emotional maturity
the ability to work through problems
Hanging up destroys all of that instantly.
It sends the message:
“I don’t care what you’re saying.”
“Your feelings don’t matter right now.”
“I’d rather end the conversation than solve the problem.”
“You don’t deserve respect in this moment.”
Even if you didn’t mean it that way, that’s how it lands.
It’s the relationship version of slamming the door in someone’s face.
Would You Hang Up on Your Boss? Your Mom? Your Best Friend?
Of course not.
Why?
Because you respect them enough to control yourself.
So why is your boyfriend the one person you think it’s okay to disrespect like that?
Healthy relationships require MORE respect, not less.
What It Really Means When YOU Hang Up on Him
If you are the one hanging up, here’s what it tells him:
you’re overwhelmed
you’re avoiding the conversation
you don’t know how to express your emotions
you want to punish him
you’re being reactive instead of constructive
Even if your intention is:
“I just needed space,”
hanging up is the wrong way to create space.
There are better ways to say:
“I need a few minutes to calm down.”
“Let me call you back when I’m in a better headspace.”
“I don’t want to fight — let’s pause.”
Those are mature.
Hanging up is not.
What It Means When HE Hangs Up on You
Let’s flip it.
If your boyfriend hangs up on you, it is a red flag.
Not automatically a dealbreaker — but a sign of something unhealthy:
It means one or more of these things:
- He can’t regulate his emotions
- He shuts down when conversations get hard
- He avoids accountability
- He communicates like a child
- He has poor conflict-resolution skills
- For a deeper understanding of this behavior, read: Why Men Pull Away
- If He Hangs Up and Expects You to Chase Him
- Some men hang up on purpose as a power move.
- Example:
He hangs up
Waits to see if you call back
Treats your call-back as proof you care more
Repeats the cycle
- This is emotional manipulation.
- That’s when you need to rethink the relationship.
- Is Hanging Up Ever Justified?
- There is one exception:
- If the conversation becomes abusive.
- Verbal abuse, screaming, name-calling, degrading comments —
that is when ending the call is not disrespect.
It’s self-protection. - But even then, a mature way to do it is:
- “I’m not okay with how this conversation is going.
I’m hanging up now. We’ll talk later.” - Not slamming the phone down.
- Why Hanging Up Makes the Problem Worse
- Arguments have one purpose:
- Solve the problem.
- Hanging up does the opposite.
- After someone hangs up:
both people cool off but nothing gets resolved
resentment builds
the original issue grows
communication becomes worse next time
trust gets weaker
respect drops
- Problems don’t go away when you hang up.
They pile up.
- If You Want Him to Stop Hanging Up on You
- You have to set a boundary.
- A calm, firm one.
- Try this:
- “When you hang up on me, it makes me feel disrespected and dismissed. I want us to solve problems together, not avoid them. If you hang up again, I won’t continue the conversation later. We need to communicate like adults or take a break before we talk.”
- If he respects you, he will adjust.
- If he doesn’t, you know exactly where you stand.
- If YOU Want to Stop Hanging Up on Him
- You need a replacement behavior.
- Next time you feel the urge:
- Say this:
- “I care about this conversation and I want to solve it, but I’m too upset to talk right now. Let’s take ten minutes and come back.”
- Then actually come back.
- That’s emotional maturity.
- How to Break the Hanging-Up Cycle Permanently
- Talk about it when you’re both calm
- Agree together that hanging up is not acceptable
- Create a “pause phrase” you both respect
(“Give me five minutes,” “Let’s take a break,” etc.) - Use time-outs instead of hang-ups
- Reward maturity
(acknowledge when partner handles conflict well) - This turns fights into progress instead of chaos.
- The Bottom Line
- Hanging up is disrespectful.
It’s immature.
It solves nothing.
And it slowly kills the relationship. - If you do it, stop.
If he does it, address it.
If both of you do it, fix it now before the distance grows. - Healthy communication is the easiest way to turn a relationship around — and the fastest way to ruin one is hitting that red button.
- Recommended Reading (Internal Links)
- To better understand men’s behavior during conflict:
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Yep, I agree with this post completely. There’s no reason to disrespect someone who is not disrespecting you. I’m a woman and this guy I was dating recently did it to me. The first time he did it, it was because he wasn’t getting his way. He hung up on me, and I refused to call him back. Two days later, he apologized profusely and I gave him a chance. He did it again the other day — I was not disrespecting him in any way, all I was doing was making a point that he did not like or agree with. He hung up on me again. I decided to nip it in the bud immediately and end the cycle. I calmed myself down and called him back twenty minutes later. He picked up right away. I told him in no uncertain terms that I did not want to continue dating him or even be friends with him since he doesn’t respect me and that I do not appreciate being disrespected. There was nothing but silence on the phone and I thought he had hung up again. But then he said “Okay,” and then I hung up the phone. I meant every word I had said to him. Immature men and women who have no regard for anyone else’s thoughts, opinions or feelings but their own are the ones who are guilty of this behavior and it should not be tolerated.
I’m so glad to hear you put a stop to this annoying behavior and in fact actually dumped this immature person. Good for you.
The only reason I hang up is because I try and stay calm and explain to the person that calling me names and etc is wrong after telling them how it’s affecting me–when they continue to do so I hang up because it’s the only thing that gets through their skull.
The proper way to doing this is to simply say to the other person that at that moment the conversation is not going anywhere and that it’s best to talk some other time and then hang up. Absolutely unacceptable to hang up without any warnings and out of frustration. THAT”S RUDE!
I agree with post of last honest guy. However if that someone has already hung up the phone on you before, and that person is a total jerk you deserve to hung up the phone on that individual. I speak from experience. I was building a serious relationship with my ex significant other, of course I come to find out down the road that he’s married. Of course he tells me he is ‘separated’!. And of course I believe him. This is a long distance relationship, whenever I tried to prove a point of when he’s getting divorced, the guy is telling me soon and if he gets upset he hungs up the phone. Then I had asked him of the hung up, and he has the balls to tell me he didn’t hung up because he said ‘bye’! yeah right! what a lyer. He frames me for ugly stuff (I had to file a police report on that person) then comes here for Christmas to spend it with me and my parents, and promises promises promises! then goes back to New York, and changes personality telling me different stuff over the phone of what he had told me in person. I hung up on him! I tolerated enough crap from such a pathological lyer acting fake nice. He disrespected me from the begining making me believe that he’s ‘single’ and asking me to be his girlffriend! So yes some men deserve to be hunged up!
I hang up after multiple warnings, and then later get the complaint that warning someone is simply a threat and also not tolerable. I agree that hanging up because you don’t like what the other person is saying is wrong, but I don’t agree that this “no hangup” rule applies in all circumstances. I may not like what someone is saying because it’s demeaning or because they won’t allow me an equal opportunity to be heard. I may then get frustrated at my multiple failed attempts to change the subject or because I receive no opportunity to speak my perspective. In these cases I believe it’s okay to say, “I don’t want to talk anymore about this,” and after saying,”I’m going to hangup so that this conversation can be productive at some other time,” hangup!
I used to be absolutely against hanging up for ANY reason, but I had never had somebody keep talking about something at great length, even when I made it clear that I had limited time or that I’d rather talk about something different which was more important for both of us than whatever we had talked about for the last 10-60 minutes.
I usually hang up when I am embarrassed and I feel like I may have said something to hurt the person. Staying on the line makes me feel awkward but after reading this. I will not be doing it anymore.
Glad this helps!
If someone is screaming at me about something, I have no problems saying “I’ll talk to you tomorrow when you’ve calmed down, bye!” And then hang up. Screaming or yelling at someone bc they can’t calmly get their point across is equally as disrespectful if not more.
Two wrongs don’t make a right sweetheart.
My fiance ( which is a 38 year old man ) hangs up on me at least 4 or 5 times a week. Over anything and everything.And I mean anything. I won’t even say rude or mean things to him. He just doesn’t like something I say so he hangs up. Yes very immature and acts very much like a girl. How can I get him to see he is being very childish for doing this ?
Break up with him.
Heres whats crazy Im gonna describe the whole/exact situation… Literally me and my girl we’re on the phone and I asked her what kind of phone carrier did she have? She said “dont worry about it”, then it was quiet for a minute and she was about to tell me something.. Like “did you know” and I cut her off and said I don’t care, she hung up on me and told me goodnight.. I was like wtf?! Really?! In my head Im thinking are you serious! Over that… The thing is she’s never had a bf. I was her first.. I dont wanna say she’s immature but then again… But this girl is wife material as well.. She has everything from looks, to personality, intelligent, loyal, cant explain in words.. I dont want to lose her.
I love her, she loves me
The best thing to do is to put a stop to this kind of behavior from the beginning. Be mad at her, until she acknowledges that what she did was wrong and you’re not willing to tolerate that in the future. Make it clear that you’re upset and feel disrespected. If in the future she continues to do it again, that means she’s intentionally doing it and things must end if they have to at that point. A fundamental value in a relationship should be respect.
Well yes I’m the on who usually hangs up but its not when were arguing its when he says bye I have to go. Then other times he will complain he never gets to hang up so I wait for him to and he gets mad that the phone conversation didn’t end cuz he or I said bye. What does this mean I’m sooooooo confused!
You’re dumb. You expect to be treated well even if you’re not doing the same. Ridiculous.
I would’ve hung up and also dumped you. You were being a douchebag. What else do you expect.
You’re a moron.
help help i love this man so much to not loose him i accidentally hang up now he thinks that i have another husband / man in my life when i really don’t have another man when we were together i was single we both were he is the only man i want to marry someday we been together for 4 years 🙁
i’am happy with him i don’t want anyone else in my life this is really breaking my heart 🙁
Apparently Alex you clearly seem to be the Moron. Your uncalled for attack, insults obnoxious, rude, immature acknowledgment of towards The poster only proves that the content being spoken of truly exists. Thank God I’m not sharing this with you on the phone right now….
I know I’d end up realizing I’m talking to myself if I didn’t hear the click.
:0)
You’re a moron too. I can hang up on whoever i want if they’re being an asshole. I don’t have to baby the asshole like hes 5 years old.
I always hang up on my bf. All the time. Not because I want to, but because he puts me down. He starts calling me names and assuming the worst. I tell him to stop, and then I tell him if you can’t respect me I’m going to hang up. It’s not fair that I have to hear things in a verbal abusive way. I’m getting tired of it because I don’t like it anymore.. he thinks I’m immature because I always hung up well I think it’s immature for him to call his partner names when it doesn’t go his way. He starts raising his voice when I’m not even yelling.. I don’t even say bad words but he has the right? That’s not fair. I’m getting over it already as well.