White

Hello, I have been engaged for about 3 months, and we’ve been together for almost 3 years. A few times a year, my fiancé goes out with his buddies, saying it’s a guys-only night. However, most of the time, someone brings girls along. While many of his friends are unfaithful to their wives, he claims that’s their issue and insists he isn’t like that. Recently, he went out, and once again, girls were there. He told me it wasn’t his fault and said he prefers being honest with me. I expressed that I don’t think it’s appropriate for an engaged man to go to bars where there are girls. When I asked how he would feel if I did the same, he said, ‘I don’t care, I know you come home to me.’ What should I do? I love him, but I’m not in my 20s, and I’m not sure he’ll ever change. Please help! Thank you.

Alright, here’s the deal. You’re 44, not 24, and you’re looking for stability, not excuses. Your fiancé going out with his boys isn’t the issue—it’s the fact that these “guys’ nights” always seem to end up with women joining, and he doesn’t see that as a problem. That’s a red flag, plain and simple. The fact that most of his friends cheat and he just brushes it off like it’s their issue? Come on, he’s putting himself in situations where temptation is always around and you can bet he’s also participating!

Now, when he says, “I don’t care, I know you come home to me,” that’s a cop-out. It sounds nice, but it’s just a way to shut down the conversation and avoid accountability. You’re not in your 20s, playing around and hoping he’ll mature. You’re a grown woman, and you need to know if he’s going to step up and be serious or keep acting like he’s single.

If he isn’t willing to respect your concerns and adjust his behavior, you need to think long and hard about whether this is the man you want as your husband. Love’s great, but trust and mutual respect are non-negotiable. So, what should you do? Lay it out straight. Tell him exactly how this makes you feel and that it’s not just about trusting him—it’s about the kind of life and respect you want in a marriage. If he’s not on board, then you’ve got your answer. Don’t waste your time hoping he’ll change if he’s not willing to make that commitment now. Be smart.