Irish

I’ve been chatting with a guy online for nine months. We’ve been intimate over video calls, he calls me beautiful, and we spend hours talking with loads of emails every day. The issue is, he’s been divorced for two years and says he’s not ready for a relationship. He has two grown daughters and lives in the U.S., while I’m in Ireland. I’m in the process of separating, but he’s made it clear he’d never date a married woman. Am I wasting my time with this?

Here’s the hard truth: yes, you’re wasting your time. This guy’s told you he’s not ready for a relationship, and yet you’re hanging on, hoping he’ll change. Newsflash—he’s enjoying the attention without any commitment, and if he actually wanted something real, he’d make it happen. 

Stop wasting your time with a long-distance relationship when there are plenty of men near you who’d actually appreciate someone ready for the real thing. And let’s be blunt—you’re 44. You don’t have time to wait around on a guy who’s fresh out of a marriage and clearly just looking to get laid. You’re invested, but he’s not, and he’s shown that over and over.

There are plenty of men closer to home who won’t need convincing and who actually want to build something. So cut this guy loose and find someone who’s ready to match your energy. You deserve someone who’s all in—not someone who’s keeping you on the back burner.