After dating my BF (who is a year older than I) for about 3 years, I took a job 350 miles away.
As a bit of background, I was married for about 11 years and left my ex-husband in a very messy divorce.
My BF and I had ups and downs when I first left but decided to let the relationship be what it is. We see each other occasionally (he travels to me, I travel to him). He takes care of his elderly mother (admirable.. the kind of guy you want!) and I know he loves me a lot.
I am a very busy independent person who has a professional career and a son in high school so I don’t sit around waiting.
The problem is, despite the way I feel about him, I wonder if I should give up on this relationship? I enjoy my time with him and he has told me if it weren’t for his mother he would have made the move with me.
We are not getting any younger… am I just being impatient?
I have a pretty good idea of what I am looking for in a relationship and just about all of it exists with him. As I said, this isn’t some internet thing, we basically lived together when we were in the same town. As for me moving back, that isn’t an option at this point either…
It’s clear to me that your career is way more important than your relationship with this guy. You already made the decision to move 350 miles away and that tells me that you’re only with him because you’re too afraid to just ends things. I understand that there’s nothing “wrong” with him and that makes it harder, but deep down I know that if he was a lot more important than anything else in your life, you would’ve declined the job and looked for something a lot closer.
My advice is to open up your options and perhaps ask him if he’s willing to be in an “open relationship”. This type of relationship allows both of you guys to meet new people but at the same time enjoy each other’s company when its feasible.
If someone better and closer to you comes a long, then you’re straight forward with him and end the relationship permanently.
At the same time, if his situation changes and he’s able to move closer to you in the future, you would then be able to continue where you left off.
I hope that helps.
The Last Honest Guy