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I have this ugly pattern in relationships with guys

Meeting-guys-through-an-app-relationship-advice

Q:

 

Hello,

I am happy that I found this site, you seem to be very helpful in giving relationship advices so I thought I should also ask you one myself since I also have a interpersonal relationship problem with guys that has been bothering me for quite a long time. I noticed that a same pattern repeats in every relationship I have with guys, whether they are just casual or a bit more serious one.

At first it’s always fine just like other people might have, but I end up sleeping with them and after that the spark is gone, well for them but on the other hand I become more emotionally attached to them. So whenever I think things will move on to the next level, they are gone. A lot of them just disappear without any explanation. I see this quite rude, I mean it is quite natural and normal for a person to suddenly lose interest or just don’t feel it anymore toward the other person without any reason, because I get that too sometimes, but at least I tell them in a nice, non-hurting way so they understand, I really hate, and a bit disturbing to some degree whenever those moments come where I notice they left and I get all paranoid, even to the point I get physical reactions like cold hands and I’m trembling in fear, just like a child thinking her mom may have disappeared and crying for her.

Maybe this has something to do with my attachment anxiety or something, but I also thought since a lot of them were who I met online so I thought I was just being too naive for believing what they only said too quick and being credulous, that I shouldn’t have taken it too seriously myself,.

Recently this guy I’ve known from elementary school through high school suddenly confessed that he liked me and we met and watched movies, but I made a mistake and slept with him on the first date, which I regret very much because I promised myself not to do this, and take things slow.

I also know now that guys kind of lose interest or in a way get disgusted by women who they quickly have sex with. I feel like I’m in a way tamed to be this way, like I don’t know how to be seen as a relationship material. I know at 23 years old, I am still young but I want to break this pattern and get the type of relationship I deserve. But I know I have to have self-respect first, but it is hard, I am thinking I should take some time alone for a while and just remain as good friends with the guy as well as other guys I might meet in the future.

But please, I want the real reason why guys think they can just get away with it, just leaving without a single word even when we didn’t have a fight, when we actually had a good time the last time we met, one guy would just stop talking to me after he last said he’ll call me few hours later, I am so confused, Thank you for reading this long message, I hope I get a reply from you. Thank you.

A:

 

Hello and I’m sorry to hear you’re going through this because you sound like a really nice girl.

What you need to do is stop acting like a slut.

The sad part is that you already know this but can’t seem to help yourself. I think you’re just looking for confirmation that what you’re doing wrong is spreading your legs wide open a little too fast.

Here’s what you should do: First, read my 7 easy and simple steps to finding the right person to marry. By following all 7 steps you’ll realize that you shouldn’t be meeting guys on dating websites or apps. The main reason is because most guys there are just looking to get laid, as you already know.

In addition, keep in mind that that most guys around you’re age group are not looking for anything serious. In fact, most guys at your age are just looking to hit it and quit it. You’re trying to find a needle in a haystack.

Be patient and follow the article mentioned above and you’ll see the results will be better. Trust me.

If you’re still unsure about something or have additional questions, don’t hesitate to do so by leaving a comment below, reaching out through my site or use my preferred method; Twitter.

Good luck.

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  • Melia

    I’m seriously obsessed with this site!! Amazing to hear all of these things from a guy’s POV. Love it!!!!

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