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How long should a girl wait to have sex with her boyfriend?

How long should a girl wait to have sex with her boyfriend? post image

How long should a girl wait to have sex with her boyfriend? Or how long should a girl wait to have sex with someone they are seriously interested in? Does hooking up too soon ruin the relationship?

Okay, so this is a really common question that always gets tons of different answers and  crazy rules. What I’m going to do here is tell you how a guy thinks when it comes to having sex with a girl. Essentially this is what this site is all about, which is why is very beneficial for women to use it as a reliable source for having accurate information and access to the way guys really think.

Let me start by saying that a guy expects to get lucky the first night he meets you and definitely after officially becoming your boyfriend. However, I don’t recommend that you give it up right away if in fact you’re looking for a serious relationship. What tends to happen is that a guy just loses interest in you because it was so easy to get in your pants and it didn’t really present a challenge. Remember that guys like challenges and the harder it is to get something, the more valuable it becomes to him.

It’s really just like anything in life, if something is easily obtainable you tend to not care so much if you lose it, but when something takes work and effort to get, the appreciation for it is enormous.

That’s exactly what you want to achieve with a guy. You want him to appreciate you and make it clear that having sex is not something you do with just anyone but instead is something you only do with someone who has become special to you and therefore has gain your appreciation to the point where you’re willing to take the relationship to the next level.

In reality the way a relationship should go is in the following order:

1. Initial meet

2. Date for a while

3. Become exclusive

4. Become intimate

5. And eventually after a couple years if everything is still going good you make a life-long commitment to that special person.

Now, the amount of time for each one of those steps to last all depends on what feels right for BOTH of you. The important thing to keep in mind is that both of you have to feel the same way at the same time. This means that If you don’t feel ready to do something, you shouldn’t do it under any circumstances. This gives you full power to control step 4 (becoming intimate) and determining when the time is right. Just remember to always keep in mind that the harder you make it for a guy to get what he wants, the more he will appreciate it.

By the way, I’m not opposed to women not being free to sleep with whoever they feel like and as soon as they feel like. In fact this is something I encourage women to do simply because I think it’s important for women to learn about their sexual needs and have experience before making a life-long commitment to anyone. I really hate to see women commit to who they think is the love of their life just to later find out that person doesn’t completely fulfill them sexually.

The real answer

So I guess that’s not really the answer you were looking for because it actually forces you to give it some thought and think about your relationship and determine when the time is right.

I know, everyone always wants an easy answer that tells them exactly what they should do and follow. The truth is that when it comes to relationships there’s really no one-answer fits all. Every relationship is different and has unique factors that essentially determine how a relationship should be handled and these decisions should only be made by the two individuals in it.

With that said, if you really need a time frame, based on my experience I would say that a good amount of time before having sex with someone who you plan on having a serious relationship with is about 4-6 months. This amount of time will give you the chance to get to know the other person and make and accurate decision. At the same time it will allow you to se if that person is as serious about the relationship as you are.

One thing to keep in mind is that us guys have our needs too and I can tell you that if you expect a guy to go that long without sex, it’s not going to happen. If you decide to make him wait that long, chances are that a guy will either dump you or just get it somewhere else behind your back.

In a way, having this kind of result is a good thing. If he decides he wants to move on just because you didn’t give it up soon enough then you’ll know he wasn’t in it for the long run and he simply just wanted to get laid. And If you catch him messing around behind your back then that will also indicate his true intentions as well.

How to solve this

So I just told you to make him wait 4-6 months and I also told you that if you do he will dump you or cheat on you. You’re probably confused and don’t really know what to do now.

Well there’s a simple solution to this and that’s because having sexual intercourse is not the only way to satisfy a man. I recommend that while you wait for the right time to have sex with your boyfriend you gradually work your way until you get to that point. Some of the many ways to do this include having oral sex, performing hand jobs, etc.

If you keep him satisfied using these other methods while you determine the right time to go all the way you will keep him interested in you and you will get to really know him. You will also bring out many of his personality traits while you get to know him. You will be able to see if he’s the kind that will demand things from you and will pressure you do them or if he’s the kind that will understand you and patiently wait for you to be ready.

Well, I hope this answer some of your questions and gives you some guidance on your situation. As always, I wish you good luck.

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Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Jazz

    wow 4-6 months! that’s crazy lol Does that start the minute you meet or do you mean once you’re exclusive? I have a feeling I’d end up alone and single forever if I follow this haha. Plus, oral sex is the easiest way to contract STDs and some guys don’t want to be tested until they’re actually having intercourse.

  • The Last Honest Guy

    Hi Jazz,

    The 4-6 months would start from the moment you two start to get to know each other. You know, dating, hanging out, etc. And don’t worry that times goes by fast. Play with yourself if you have to, LOL.

    Also, if you’re concerned about STD’s (which is good that you are) there are also other ways besides bj’s to start being intimate before reaching actual sex. How about dry humping or hand jobs?

    And btw if a guy doesn’t want to get tested for STD’s prior to having sex with you that’s usually a good sign he’s dirty and probably not the right guy to be with in the first place. Besides, anyone having multiple sexual partners should be getting tested at least every 6 months.

  • Jazz

    That’s exactly how I feel (about testing). Well, anyone over the age of 18 who has had sex and isn’t married to that person they had sex with should be tested.

    P.s. you’re hysterical!

  • palmtreeone

    I agree, 4 to 6 months, not even I can’t wait that long my god!!! I’d say a month the most especially if you two are seeing a lot of one another..When the time is right, you will know, as long as it’s not the first, second or third night, your okay!!!

  • The Last Honest Guy

    I’m amazed at the number of people who disagree and can’t wait that long. Trust me, if you don’t want to get burned by a guy who just wants to hit it and quit it, waiting the short 4-6 months will be well worth it.

  • meaghan

    how can i fin a boyfirend

  • Disappointed

    Wow, what’s up with horny people not being able to wait? Four months isn’t that long, really. Besides, if you want it to be a long-term relationship, you won’t just be with them for a year or so, right? Well, that’s not how you WANT things to go, right? So if you can’t wait for at least four months, then I’m worried.

  • Aly

    I think this makes sense – there’s a reason why guys don’t usually get in a relationship with easy girls.

    The only thing I’m iffy on is that sometimes I think oral sex can more intimate then actual intercourse. Guys expect blow jobs before sex but rarely perform oral on a girl before she gives it up

  • The Last Honest Guy

    Oral sex is not more intimate than actually intercourse in most people’s opinion. It’s actually consider the step before intercourse or “third base”.

  • The Last Honest Guy

    Oral sex is not more intimate than actually intercourse in most people’s opinion. It’s actually consider the step before intercourse or “third base”.

  • Aly

    Ok. So I’m talking to this guy daily (we met online). We’re planning on meeting & grabbing a drink next week. I know he’s looking to eventually get into a relationship with a girl. 

    I guess my question is, after dating for awhile, how do you bring up being exclusive before intimacy, especially when a guy starts to try stuff? I always feel like it’s an awkward situation. Any tips? I want to come off like I respect myself, but not like a prude!

  • Humphrey Roydon

    But it’s not sure that every time it works. Every couple has different expectations from each other. But still it’s good.

  • pippa

    i think oral should come last …. this is basically your opinion & some parts i respect & agree but not where oral is concerned

  • Guest

    I agree with you. I may even take it further in that I have never given oral sex to a guy and I don’t plan to do it right now. I can’t understand why females are willing to put their mouths on a guy but he will not give her oral. I am adamant that if I do that nasty act to a boyfriend, he darn well better do it for me. 7-2-13

  • Kay

    I need advice. My boyfriend and I have been together for over a month. When we kiss sometimes we get carried away. What should I do? Should I continue the intense moments or what can I do? I care about him a lot and want to be with him for a very long time.

  • Alina

    giving blow jobs is worse than having normal sex

  • Alina

    no man will respect a woman for giving him blow jobs instead of having normal sex

  • The Last Honest Guy

    You’re wrong! Are you a man? How can you speak on behave of one?

  • pm4l son

    A girl should wait about 3.4 seconds before having sex with their boyfriend if they want to keep him

  • Gigi 33

    Ok, so I had to look this subject up because I’ve been single for 8 yrs and started now dating this guy. I see there’re a lot of different opinions on this but I think 4-6 months is good . You can be with someone for 20 yrs and think you know them but honestly you never finish to. On the subject of oral sex, I’ve noticed (I have A LOT of guy friends) that they always expect a girl to give them a BJ but they’re not as willing to do so. So, my opinion is, he doesn’t do it me either, sex goes both ways!

  • The Last Honest Guy

    Thank you very much for sharing your opinion. I do agree that any relationship should have equal contributions from both parties.

  • Al

    I think u shouldn’t even think about that yet until you meet him. He might be a catfish or a looney. Don’t over think stuff. Wait until you guys meet.

  • nick

    thanx 4 ur advice,

    but i m in relationship with a girl from last 3 years and she still don`t want to do sex. And i never Cheated her, but now i m frustrated and irritated. I don`t wanna Lost her .
    tell me what can i do now??

  • cathy

    Yesss!!! Thank you soo much!! What I just read answers soo much questions I had! I’ve Been with my Bf for the past 6 months and
    Im still Feeling the time is right yet idk why! But reading this helped me a lot!!!!

  • The Last Honest Guy

    Cathy, I’m very happy to hear this and glad I could provide some insight. Good luck and thanks for reading.

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