My boyfriend works too much and doesn’t have time for me

by The Last Honest Guy

Ok I met my boyfriend whom is 30 years old. He is from a conservative white collar family like myself. I met him on the internet, on a game we both played. We have been talking for a year, when I initially started speaking to him, he had no job and was waiting to get into the armed Guard and living away from home in Oregon. Was living at his auntie’s and he was looking after her house while she worked. I was in Washington state at the time working (I am a promotions model). I went back to my country, Australia, and continued talking to him. We became serious as could be online and talked hours on the phone. He was feeling bad about his predicament and he and I talked and we both decided he should go back to his home in Michigan and take up a job offer of as Truck driver so he did, he moved in with his parents and saved money, our plan was to get an apartment in time for me to come to stay with him. So he did, he got the apartment, furnished it and has been working very long hours, his days range from 4 or 5 am – 7 pm and not walking in the door sometimes to 8 pm he is exhausted, he does this 6 times a week most weeks. He also has school online on top of that which takes about 5 hours a week online.
I finally got to Michigan the day he got settled in the apartment, but now he seems distant and always tired, he tells me he loves me, he considers us a couple but he just seems to act like he doesn’t care, he rarely asks how I am, how was my day, yet I always care for him. I don’t know if it is because of the astronomical hours he does, because I have seen him come home and literally fall asleep with food in his mouth in front of my eyes on the couch. I have asked him why we don’t communicate like we used to, he says it is because I am with him now, and he works a lot and between work and school he is tired and just wants to sleep. He has set up this life for us, an apartment, he buys food (and will go out of the way to buy items I like, special treats, like chocolate, jerky etc). Every morning he goes to work he kisses me on the forehead before he leaves. But now I am lucky if I get 5 minutes of conversation out of him.

Am I being silly and expecting too much? His work will slow down once the snow starts and he keeps telling me the hours of overtime he has will help us get through the winter. I am very grateful for everything he has done I love him dearly and I look at him as he is my soul mate. I just need someone to tell me this is normal. (more…)

Why does he seem to show interest and then “disappear”?

by The Last Honest Guy

In the beginning we were really good friends but due to mutual attraction things became “awkward” pretty quickly. As time went on we continued to become very close & he seemed to be falling hard. He often took time out of his schedule to see me, brought me meaningful gifts, ditched his friends to hang out, was happy doing nothing but just be with me, constantly placed me in future, would try to initiate hand holding or relationship discussions but shied away, sent text and called back regularly. I also began noticing he would get jealous quickly or would not talk (only stare) other days. As we continued to talk he stopped initiating contact unless he was trying to apologize for missing a date. Eventually, he stopped responding to every text but his actions in person were more apparent and frequent. After trying to ask me out but shying away he stopped initiating contact. While he would always answer and would express the desire to meet up or date things were never the same. A few months went by and I found myself feeling really hurt because I lost both a good friendship and someone I cared about romantically.

A few weeks ago, we ran into each other again. Despite not initiating contact or even responding to it for the past few months, he seemed unusually excited to see me. While I tried ignoring him, he kept trying to get my attention. He had a wide smile on his face, his eyebrows were higher than normal, kept giving shy waves and big waves, and tried to maintain eye contact. A guy friend of mine joined and I noticed he became less talkative, would not look directly at me, stared at the ground, and his feet pointed inward. Once my friend left, he seemed to open up but he seemed stiff with his movements. When he would open up, face towards me, or make eye contact he would literally “snap” the other way. At one point, when he would laugh, he would make sure to stop it and would only look at me from the side or when I wasn’t looking. He also kept placing objects of his closer to me and kept sharing my drink with me. He told me to call him if *I* wanted to talk and stayed to finish the conversation with me before leaving with a friend.

Oddly enough, when we talked he acted as if nothing had happened. He began opening up about all of his worries and hinting about coming over to visit or talking again soon. He also kept bringing up past memories and conversations and refused to get off the phone for any sort of distraction. It seemed to go really well and I thought we were going to be friends again (if not more—the conversation became progressively romantic). I ended the conversation because I was busy and he told me to call him again as well as promised to call himself. However, when I called him twice afterward the phone continued to ring and he never picked up.

What did I do wrong? From what I mentioned, does it seem as if he has no interest in talking to me again? Why does he seem to show interest and then “disappear”? I’m currently receiving pressure from friends to contact him again (social reasons) and I’m curious about contacting him myself, but I’m reluctant to do so because I feel as if he doesn’t want me in his life.

I apologize for the length and thanks for reading.

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I caught my boyfriend with another woman…

by The Last Honest Guy

3 months ago I caught my now ex boyfriend with another woman. (she happens to be his now ex best friends baby mama) He tried to say it wasn’t like that but I didn’t fall for it and turns out it was like that. I moved home to live with my parents. She has since then quit her job and moved in with her 2 kids. I’ve been with this man since we were 17. I got pregnant when I was 21. He said he wasn’t ready to marry and we should take it slow. I loved him so I gave him that. The idea was that when my son turned 5 we would get married. Obviously he was ready to settle down just not with me. He hid her for 8 months before I found out. Anyway I’m confused. He chose her but has never stopped telling me he was sorry and that he loves me. He blows up my phone saying he misses me, he’s not happy without me and she could never take my place. (BUT SHE DID) He wants to see me and take me out but I won’t allow it. I had to have my mom escort my son to him when he picks him up because every time I saw him for that second he would try to kiss me or grab me. He once followed me to a friend’s house and wanted to know who lived there. 2 months went by and last night I escorted my son partially because I wanted to see him and because my mom was getting tired of dealing with it all. He saw I had my phone and snatched it from my hand to see the last caller which happened to be a male friend. He questioned me and got angry then peeled out. I don’t know what is going on with him and I don’t know how to handle any of this. I love him and miss him too but I don’t trust him. I feel like everything was a lie and I don’t think I could ever take him back. I want to do what is best for my son and maintain dignity but this is hard. Can you please help me understand why he did this to me and continues to behave like this? I’m lost.

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