How long should you wait to start dating again after a break up?

by The Last Honest Guy

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People seems to always come up with different “rules” on how long someone should wait after a break up. Some say, at least 6 months if you were in a serious (years) relationship. Others come up with ridiculous time frames that have absolutely no rational reasons behind them. Often people simply seem to think is disrespectful to the other person if you start dating right away after you break up with them. And others will criticize you if you start dating right away when someone breaks up with you and say things like; “I guess she didn’t really love him that much, looks at her she’s already going on dates”.

So, How long should you wait to start dating again after a break up?

If you’ve ever wondered how guys get over relationships so fast I will tell you. They start dating right after a break up. If possible the next day, if not, at least that weekend you should go on your first date. With that said, I don’t think there should be a specific time frame before you should start dating again. In fact, I recommend you start dating right away so that you’re able to start the healing process faster.

If someone just broke up with you is a good idea to just start dating right away. If you just stay home and feel miserable, you’re just going to make things worse. Remember that the way you act will dictate the way you feel. Sometimes by just acting happy even though your not, you will suddenly start to feel happy. It’s a weird phenomenon but it works. If you don’t believe me just try it next time you’re feeling blue.

One of the worst things to do is to sink yourself into depression after a break up. Definitely going on dates is one of the best things to do and avoid feeling depressed. The faster you can start doing this, the faster you will get over a person. At the same time there’s not much criticism involved when you do this. In fact, isn’t that what most friends try to get you to do after they find out you’re going through a bad break up?

On the other hand, if you’re the one who breaks up with someone and start dating right away, everyone starts to talk about you and criticize every move you make. That’s completely wrong to do. Think about it, why should anyone who was miserable in a relationship and finally grows the balls to get out of it wait any period of time to start dating? It’s obvious that this person couldn’t wait to finally be free. Most of the times the person who is doing the “breaking up” has been long over a person in the first place. So, even though they’re not officially broken up, emotionally that person might have been apart for a long time. I think it should be expected for someone who has just broken up with someone else to start dating right away.

The bottom line here is you should start dating right away after a break up with no remorse. After all if that person broke up with you, there’s no longer a commitment and it should be fine. If you’re the one breaking up with someone, you have already hurt them, so don’t act like you owe them respect and wait a period time before dating. You will only be sending the wrong signal to them and make them think you still care about them.

What do you think? Agree or disagree? How long do you wait?

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  • Carmen

    I don’t agree with you. It doesn’t matte who brakes up with who. I believe that taking some time for yourself and not jumping into another relationship right away, is better in the long run. That time should be used to analyze your feelings and what went wrong. So you won’t repeat the same mistakes again. I am not saying to stay home and feel sorry for yourself. I encourage you to go out with your friends, have fun, and keep yourself busy. You have the right to feel free again. And when you feel you are ready to start dating, go ahead and have a blast!!

  • http://www.thelasthonestguy.com The Last Honest Guy

    Nobody ever said anything about starting a relationship right away. Of course you shouldn’t do that. There’s a big difference between dating and a relationship.

  • http://www.meetmymatch.co.uk/ Dating Websites

    This post put me in the state of dilemma.My personal thinking is that for starting a new relation after break-up lots of time is required for forget ex then to start a new but post seems to totally opposite.Still have confusion on this matter.

  • Sylvia

    Thanks for validating these feelings. I am the dunper and it was a four year relationship… I grieved the relationship way before it was over so I could safely break up with the person and be 100% sure. I feel guilty for not feeling guilty.

  • http://www.thelasthonestguy.com The Last Honest Guy

    Well done! There’s no need to feel guilty when you know the person you’re with is not the one you want.

  • http://www.amolatina.com/ Amolatina

    One of the best blogs I’ve read. I’ve recommended this blog
    to some of my colleagues. I’m sure they’ll find this useful as I found.Will
    definitely recommend to others. Good work. 
     

  • http://www.thelasthonestguy.com The Last Honest Guy

    Thanks!

  • AG

    From my personal experience ai would say please don’t play with your life by dating right away. You’ll only be left with regrets.

    I started dating one of my close friends as soon as my relation with my first ex came to an end. Coincidently she had broken up with her ex just a month prior to me.

    It was fun and frolic in the beginning, but very soon as we guys got serious, frustration started to set in and I started to miss my ex more as we guys shared some passionate moents. I was comparing my new girl with the old one in every way and even tried to change her to be like my ex. She was doing the same.

    To summarize I was doing nothing but searching my ex in my new fling. And getting irritated when I couldn’t find her. This was absolutely unfair as she had her own plus’s and minus’s.

    Within 4 months our relation came to an halt and now here I am going through my breakup phase again. Only left with regrets as she has found a new guy and I am all alone.

    And now 4 months after she left, I have started to realize she also had her own positives which I could not see earlier due to the emotional turmoil of my previous breakup.

    And again, I am getting to hear how much these guys fight with each other just 2 months into their relation. . So another rebound relations fail on cards i believe.

    I really feel She might have been still my girlfriend had I given some time to myself to forget my ex.

    -AG

  • http://www.thelasthonestguy.com The Last Honest Guy

    You sir sound like a complete pussy!

    Let me clarify that most guys don’t feel the way you did and most guys don’t try to get into other serious relationships right away. We try to get laid as much as possible and try to bang everything that has 2 legs and moves normal. Sometimes even if it doesn’t move normal. Lol.
    You’re clearly the exception to the rule.

  • Go for it!

    I really liked this article thanks! Sometimes when you dump someone its because they have quit the relationship on you so you’re really dumping yourself…why feel guilty after dumping yourself? I feel trapped because he bailed on me emotionally so i dumped him and now he will be watching to see if i move on to prove i never loved him. Fuck that i’m going to start dating because life’s to short to be proving your love to someone who can’t love themselves and it’s my goddam 25th year and i’m a 10 and he’s just an idiot. amen.

  • Bloke

    ‘… try to bang everything that has 2 legs and moves normal’

    hahaahah
    Such a try-hard line. Let me guess about the author: awkward, no real success with women at college/high-school? Probably the creepy guy that likes all his female friends’ photos on Facebook, because he thinks that makes him a ‘player’.

    No-one with any adult responsibilities has time for random hookups after a serious breakup. Especially if you have to move out, or if you have kids to think about. The best thing is to make sure your life’s in a good position to move forward on your own before you waste time dating. Could take a couple weeks, could take several months. No rules.

    The whole ‘over’ before it was over thing… just… get some conviction? Dump at the time? Confront it, rather than passively checking out like a coward? The whole ‘you deserve to be free if they weren’t right for you’ is pretty self-obsessed reasoning, and sounds like someone trying to rationalise an actio to themself after the event. Just keep dating discreet for a while after the breakup. Don’t wave it in your ex’s face, because that’s just unclassy.

  • broken

    What if you own a house together and still live with each other, date or wait till the house is sold?

  • http://www.thelasthonestguy.com The Last Honest Guy

    If you’re in that situation, that means you haven’t broken up yet! Make the decision to leave or kick that person to the curb already. Stop hanging on till the last minute.

  • Name

    I know it’s a horrible cliche’ but what if you do still care about the person as a friend? How long should you wait then?

  • http://www.thelasthonestguy.com The Last Honest Guy

    If you wait you’ll be sending the wrong message that you care for that person. That person will think there’s hope and it will be harder to get over the relationship. Just star dating people…

  • the first honest guy

    You sir a a complete shallow individual who has clearly never felt love, ” We try to get laid as much as possible and try to bang everything that has 2 legs and moves normal” that says it all, how do you live with yourself?! What an asshole.

  • http://www.thelasthonestguy.com The Last Honest Guy

    Look buddy, on this blog we don’t sugar coat anything. If you’re too sensitive and can’t take it, I suggest you move along to a different blog. There’s no room for closed minded individuals such as yourself here. The world is not pink and that’s the honest truth!

  • Allison

    So I have a little bit of a different problem. I’m in highschool and we dont really go on dates, you just kinda hangout until you both realize you like eachother then you date. Well, I was friends with this guy i had just met and he was in a relationship with this girl, but she was making him unhappy. So I was there for him and just kinda gave him moral support. But, in the middle of all that, we grew feelings for eachother. He finally broke up with her but he want us to start a relationship right away. Am I right that thats a bad idea?

  • http://www.thelasthonestguy.com The Last Honest Guy

    I would wait unless you want to have an enemy at school, who you see on a daily basis. It would be pretty obvious that you are the cause of their break up.

  • Carmine

    TLHG
    I think in some circumstances this would be okay but the majority of people would be better served dealing with the hurts and mistakes from the previous relationship before connecting with someone new. Good blog but your a little off for the majority. lol some good points though.

  • http://www.thelasthonestguy.com The Last Honest Guy

    I’m confused on how you can speak on behalf of this majority????

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