Although he says he wants to work things out. I don’t really feel like he truly cares nor loves me. He does not want to deal with my questions anymore (I found out 1 month ago). When I get mad he gets mad back. I am really hurt but wish I could get things to be the way they used to be. We have 3 kids and 18 years of marriage. Has anyone out there truly gotten “over” infidelity and been happy again? What should I do?
This really has nothing to do with what other people have done to handle an infidelity. I believe that every relationship and every situation is individually unique and it should be handled on a case-by-case basis. What I mean by this is that you should never compare your relationship problems to someone else’s. There are too many details and information about a relationship that makes every relationship completely different no matter how similar a problem may seem.
It is possible to get over an infidelity and lots of people do it all the time. Most people don’t go around telling everyone about it and sometimes you never know who has gone through a situation like this one. Of course what ever they did to make it work for them is not necessarily the right way for you to handle your own situation. It’s ok to get ideas and then determine if something similar might work for you but you should really only take it as reference to help you come up with your own solution.
However, in your case, it seems like there’s little or no hope to save it. You seem to have a lot of issues with it and the only reason you want to make it work is because you’re living in the past and you’re really in love with someone who doesn’t exist anymore. You want to magically erase the facts and simply just wish this would have never happened. This isn’t new, it happens to a lot of people but you should just wake up to reality and deal with what you have now and not what you had in the past.
Clearly all these issues in regards to your husband’s infidelity are still alive and the only thing to do is to sit down, think and ask yourself if in your heart you can truly ever get over it. If the answer is yes than stay and work on the relationship, but if the answer is no, don’t force things and just move on. This is something that will never go away.