Help! I have been dating the most wonderful man for eight months. He is the most kind, caring and loving man I have ever been with. My problem started when I sold my house and moved in with him temporarily.
Since living with him I have learned that he doesn’t shower every day! He doesn’t have body odor and it’s not obvious that he doesn’t bathe, but now that I’m living with him I’ve seen that he sometimes lets as long as four days pass between showers.
I was raised to shower every day and I really find this disgusting. I’ve tried every way I can think of to persuade him to shower every day — joking, cajoling and being stern. For me, this is a deal breaker.
I realize I shouldn’t have moved in with him and that situation will change soon, but can you help me come up with ways to convince him that he must bathe every day?
The fact that for eight months you’ve never notice that he doesn’t shower on a daily basis makes me believe that this is YOUR problem and not his. The problem here is that this is all in your head and I think it’s ridiculous to be willing to let go of this great relationship and be willing to let go of “the most kind, caring and loving man I have ever been with” as you call it.
I believe that as long as he doesn’t have any weird body odors or looks like a slob, there shouldn’t be any problem at all. If the guy is comfortable with only taking showers when he feels he needs it and no one notices other wise then there is no problem at all what so ever. It actually makes sense. Would you wash your car every week even on the week when it just stayed parked in your garage? I think the answer is obvious and it’s only logical to only wash the car when it needs it. If he chooses to apply the same principle to his bathing schedule and is not affecting him in a negative way (clearly is not since his girlfriend never noticed in 8 months) then by all means continue this way.
You must also understand that in general women will develop body odors faster then man when they don’t shower.
Just because you smell after not showering for one day it doesn’t mean that this applies to men too.
I believe everyone should be responsible for their own bodies and their own hygiene habits. Just because you have certain habits, you shouldn’t expect everyone else to be the same as you. It seems a little selfish to want to change someone just because you feel that’s the way it should be. You should only worry about yourself and leave everyone else alone, specially when it doesn’t have a direct negative effect towards you. Stop being a ball busting bitch and just get over it. You will definitely regret leaving someone who seems to be the perfect guy for you over something as stupid as you wanting him to have the same bathing schedule as you.
I suggest you work out this out with yourself and think about the true importance of this minute issue. Something you never noticed in 8 months of being with this person and it seems to be only psychological. Some couples have real issues such as alcoholism, drug addiction or domestic violence just to name a few and here you are complaining and even considering braking the relationship over something that you are the only one that has an issue with and quite frankly really stupid? Be smart and weigh out the positive and negatives of the relationship and make a decision. But if the only thing you have to give up is living with someone who never has bad body odors but doesn’t shower daily and in return you have the most wonderful man a woman could ever ask for, that sounds like a good deal to me!