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Oral sex… is this fair?

Oral sex… is this fair? post image

Okay so if a guy never gives oral sex but expects it back is that fair? I don’t have a problem giving it to my man but not all the time unless I’m getting something back in return. Am I being selfish? Any tips on getting it back?? I am a very clean person I shower twice a day there is no reason why I would smell funny or anything.

When talking about what’s fair or not in regards to a relationship one should know that doing the same act in return is not necessarily always the “fair” thing to do. The most important thing to consider is the likings of the other person. For example, if I take you out to eat to your favorite place and the next time we go out you take me out to the same place to eat, that’s not necessarily a fair thing to do because that’s not my favorite place to eat, it’s yours. What I’m trying to say is that just because there’s something you really like it doesn’t mean that the other person likes it too. The fair thing to do would be to go to your favorite place one day and next time go to his favorite place regardless of if you like it or not.

When it comes to your oral sex situation I don’t think it has to do with being fair or not. On one hand maybe your man really has to get oral in order to get turned on and finish the job while on the other hand perhaps it’s not as important for you as long as you get yours? If you two don’t have the same needs then it’s not a fairness issue. The fact that you say:

“I don’t have a problem giving it to my man but not all the time unless I’m getting something back in return.”

Makes me think that you are acting selfish on your part because if you were like him (that has to have it all the time) why should it make a difference if you get it or not? You would want to get it regardless of giving it or not.

The bottom line is that you have to be true to yourself and find out if it’s really that important to you to get head from your man and if it is, here’s few ways to get it:

First, I would suggest you try to hint him by maybe “dirty talking” to him and telling him what you want him to do to you, (but make sure it sounds sexy while you do this) it will probably turn him on even more and you’ll get what you want.

If that doesn’t work, you could go to the extreme of introducing some edible toys to the bedroom and perhaps placing them in the areas where you want be touched. Maybe even making a trail in the direction you want him to go.

Lastly, your last resort is to openly communicate to him that some of your expectations in the bedroom are not being met. You can then proceed to let him know exactly what you want and if he opposes the idea then try to find out what his reasons are. You never know, even if you say you’re the cleanest girl in the world maybe there’s something else to it and you should be sensitive to his reasons. Then, try to come up with a solution to it if it’s possible.  Also, be careful on the choice of words you use and the way you say things, you don’t want to sound like you’re mandating him to do this because you will just make it awkward and will probably ruin the chances of this ever happening. The last thing you want is to make him feel like he has to give you oral every time you have sex because you will lose the excitement and fun out of it.

If none of these methods work and this is really important to you and you can’t live with only getting it on occasions, then you should be open to the idea that maybe this guy is not the perfect match for you. I truly believe that being compatible sexually is an important element in a relationship in order to be happy and stay together for a long time.

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Comments on this entry are closed.

  • fed up

    I think my man witholds because it seems like it  has to be on his terms; control issue?  It is not fair and I’m tired of wanting

  • whoakay

    This is some of the worst advice I have ever read. You are calling someone selfish for giving oral without receiving anything in return and saying the LAST resort is to talk about it? That’s the first thing to do.

  • The Last Honest Guy

    What makes you the expert on this topic? You found this site because you needed the advice and now you want to say you disagree? What a joke. Keep doing what you do and you will remain in the exact place that you started at.

  • The FIRST Honest Guy

    Whoakay is right. This is really bad advice, and for exactly the reasons stated: (1) Giving without receiving is the EXACT OPPOSITE of selfish; it’s the PARTNER who is being selfish in this relationship. (2) Open communication should be the FIRST resort, not the last resort.

    If you can’t grasp these obvious truths, you’re not qualified to give relationship advice. Your insecure response to whoakay, coupled with your belittling personal attack, only proves my point.

    The real joke here is a blogger who who can’t take constructive criticism graciously. Good bloggers have enough humility to recognize their limitations. Great bloggers actually learn from their readers. Listen up, self-appointed “expert,” because this is a learning opportunity for you, and I’m going to tell it like it is.

    Your advice here is beyond “bad” — it’s thinly veiled verbal abuse and gaslighting. First you tell a vulnerable woman SHE’S being selfish when her partner is the textbook definition of selfish. Then you demand that she be sensitive to her partner’s feelings while HER feelings are chronically ignored.

    This kind of “help” women don’t need. Pack it in, dude. You’re the one with the problem. Get some help.

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