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My Husband doesn’t want to kiss me…

My Husband doesn’t want to kiss me… post image

We got married 3 1/2 years ago and 3 years ago I got braces and my husband hasn’t kissed me since I got braces… (Before I met him I knew he was a clean freak but I didn’t think it was this bad…)… So, as a result I suffer from very low self esteem… He also never wants to be with me sexually unless I ask him and I don’t ask him anymore because I used to get rejected and I felt embarrassed. When it does happen I feel shy around him, I’m not sure why I think it’s because I’m not used to having sex… I am hurt and I am afraid I’m going to have to live like this 4 the rest of my life… I feel like I have fallen out of love with him because of this… I feel like I want to get divorced but I’m scared. I married my first boyfriend. Advice please…. thx

P.S.

My husband says that he doesn’t want to kiss me because he says I can’t brush my teeth thoroughly with braces on. He is grossed out by them and he says if he kisses me he will mess up his teeth. He does have perfect teeth…

Let me just say that this is the honest opinion of a Guy from a guy’s perspective. As a men I can tell you that we are generally arouse by the physical appearance of a woman and in order for us to want to be with you sexually we have to be attracted. In general men don’t usually turn down sex from a woman unless there is something seriously wrong. In this case I do think that there’s something seriously wrong and it has to do with you. The fact that he has straight out and clearly told you why he doesn’t want to have sex with you says it all. Moreover, if you’re not the most attractive woman in the world (something tells me you’re not) and on top of this you have nasty braces, it’s no surprise that he doesn’t want to be with you. You should feel lucky that he’s still with you and at least tries to please you every once in a while. Quite honestly I don’t blame him.

On top of everything you said he’s a clean freak and complains that you’re not able to completely and thoroughly brush your teeth clean (which you can’t when you have braces). In my opinion this is a combination set for disaster. So let’s see, he can’t be physically attracted to you with those braces and to top that knowing that you’re teeth are dirty makes him mentally not attracted to you as well. C’mon, is that really a surprise? I don’t think so.

Here’s my advice to you and it’s simple and easy to do. After three years of having braces on, I think your teeth should be looking at least half way decent (unless your teeth were really effed up), and you should be able to JUST GET RID OF THE BRACES. If you really value your relationship and your marriage you’re going to have to sacrifice your teeth for your husband. That’s option number one and the easiest one to do by the way.

Option two is to just wait till your braces come off (hopefully soon) and not blame him for not wanting to be with you. Stop being so selfish and be more understanding. Put yourself in his shoes and tell me if you would want to have sex with him if he didn’t shower for a month? Well, given that he’s a clean freak, this is equivalent.

The fact that you’re considering a divorce over this tells me that you’re relationship is not as strong as it should be. Try to get rid of those braces first, either right away or when you’re supposed to and see if your relationship improves. If it doesn’t then at that point I think you have bigger problems and you really have to sit down and think about the future of marriage.

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Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Chelley

    Omg. Whoever responded to you is a jerk. That’s a terrible thing to say to a girl! Especially someone suffering with esteem issues like this. You should be ashamed!!

    And to the girl with braces,

    Maybe the braces really turn your husband off.
    Tell him to get over it though. I’ve had braces before and it’s actually a real turn on for LOTS of men. Your husband has to be attracted to you. He married you! So just talk to him about it. Stand up for yourself.

  • http://www.thelasthonestguy.com The Last Honest Guy

    The bottom line here is that if you’re unattractive to your husband and he is telling you the exact reason why, there’s only one thing to do; either fix the problem or suffer the consequences.

  • http://dentalassociatesinc.com/ Kathy Frederickson

     @The Last Honest Guy — Of course, I would want to fix the problem. Everything would be okay once we have already started  communication and have conversed with each other. However, I completely agree with the statement above that says nothing’s seriously wrong with the situation of the woman. I guess that you have explained everything well. Nice! 😉

  • Hs

    My boyfriend / hubby was so against me having braces but I put them on anyway (selfish)….He didnt kiss me for a week, I felt away for I know he is loves kissing. We spoke about it and I ended up crying, I was willing to take them off just for him. Waste my money to save my relationship.  He stated I love you, you dont have to do that. The main fact you suggested you will do it. Is good enough for me started to kiss again.  That showed me that he really loves me and metal cant come betwwen us.

  • Jessica Colon
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