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HELP! My boyfriend steals from me

HELP! My boyfriend steals from me post image

Hi I am having a problem with my fiancé. We are both in our late 20′s and he doesn’t have a job yet, so as a result, he has stolen from me. The first time he stole money I had laid out on my dresser (we don’t live together yet) that I was going to use for gas to get to work that day. The most recent time, he stole my debit card and used it, then put it back without telling me, thinking I wouldn’t notice. He has also stolen items besides money from me too, like computer equipment, a digital camera and other items. I honestly don’t know what to do. I love him to death and I help him out as much as possible, but he keeps taking. I am not even sure if it is a crime since we’re engaged. And I have asked questions of what would happen if I got the police involved, but I don’t want to get him in trouble. I just don’t know what else I can do? He doesn’t even apologize, he just takes things, and I don’t even know it’s missing until afterwards. Sometimes the money he takes, I really need for things. I am just really confused…I help him out with money and anything I can (most recently a LOT of money to get his car engine fixed). But it doesn’t help, he keeps taking. Any advice? I don’t know if counseling or therapy would help or what.. I just know something has to be done.


Wow! Don’t even know where to start on this one. The first question is how stupid are you? Do you really have that low of self-esteem?  Let’s recap on this real quick, the guy you are planning to marry is in he’s late 20’s, doesn’t have a job, you basically support him, and on top of things he steals from you on a regular basis.

First of all, someone in their late 20’s has already developed their personality and chances are that they are going to be losers for the rest of their lives and are never going to change. So don’t think later on it will be any different, in fact sometimes it keeps getting worse. Second, I can’t believe you call this guy your fiancé; do you really want to marry a low-life like him? How can someone be this old and not have a job? And third, putting up with someone who steals from you should be out of the question and should never under any circumstances be tolerated. Those are the most obvious signs that you are with the wrong person.

Let me tell you that when you have plans to marry someone you have to think of this the same way you would think about having a business partner. Essentially that’s what you are doing, forming a partnership between two people. Think about this, if you were starting a business with someone you would want a partner who is responsible, honest, reliable, pays the bills on time, and most importantly has something to contribute to the business. Getting married is no different, but what you have now is the complete opposite of this and it should be pretty clear that you are about to make the biggest mistake of your life.

My advice to you is that unless you are planning to be a low-life yourself, you should run as fast as you can!!! Get the hell out of there, you’re still on time. You are not married to him and you guys don’t live together yet. It doesn’t matter how much you “love” him eventually you will realize you’re with the wrong person and it might be too late. At least right now you don’t really have any real ties with him and it should be fairly standard to call it quits. Remember that you should always think about yourself first before thinking about anyone else because ultimately you will be unhappy deep down inside and you would be sacrificing your own happiness for someone who is not worth it. It’s pretty clear that you are feeling like this already other wise you wouldn’t have asked for advice. You seem to be too nice of a person (as many girls tend to be) but you have to put your feelings aside and know that this is just not the smartest choice. When ever you’re in doubt of something like this, pretend you have a friend who is going through the same situation and think about what you would advice her to do on this situation. Imagine she comes up to you and tells you she’s about to marry a guy who doesn’t have a job and steal from her all the time. What would you tell her? I think it’s pretty obvious and the only reason you are having a hard time leaving him is because you think you’re “in love”. So don’t be pathetic and please don’t marry this guy because you will end up a loser yourself who later will have loser-babies that can potentially turn into criminals and steal from me.

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  • funkytron12

    he needs help . Honesty will heal the relationship. Don’t let materialistic waste ruin your love for each other. I love my girlfriend but i just took 10 bucks from her. But I know I love her. You suppose to help him more than you can . Love takes work and dedication . Don’t listen to any of these other foolish people on here. They are already too far gone . They will create lies and code to live by.. I bet none of these people are married.

  • Jacque

    Yeah, umm, that’s bullshit. If you really *needed* the money (and I don’t just mean for cigarettes/energy drinks/whatever), and were in a real relationship, you’d be able to ask. Is it materialistic to expect openness/realness/honesty in the FIRST place? And you aren’t married either, are you (Mr. I just *stole* 10 bucks from my girlfriend)?

  • Chelsea

    I have had the same problem recently.. my boyfriend is 18 as well as I am. And I’m pregnant and he doesn’t have a job and steals money from me, takes my phone car, etc. After reading what she said to your question it makes a valid point, reading It I didn’t want to think it was true, but it is. And no women or male should have to go through that.

  • http://www.thelasthonestguy.com The Last Honest Guy

    I’m glad this post could help.

  • I’m Loser

    I have the same problem as well. I am 27 years old and my bf is 30 years old this year. I really no idea what can I do to my relationship. Me and my bf together for 1 year 7 months. The first 2 months was a fairy tale to me. I never have such happiness in my life before. After that I had an operation so he suggested we rent a room to stay together so that he could take care of me after the ops. Then I found out that precious 2 months he was staying with his “ex-gf” as what I saw in his phone text message. That was the first lie. He mentioned that he did not have enough money to rent a room himself. So he got no choice but to stay with the “ex-gf” for a few months until he stable down. After that I realized there are loansharks looking for him. He told me because his “ex-gf” is a materialistic girl. In order to be with her, he need to spend all his money to buy her branded stuff and eat good food. I didn’t know why and I guess loves really blinded me. I pity and knew that relationship is not easy. So I give him a chance, and continue to be with him, first he borrowed $3k from me and I told him that’s all I got because I still need to give to my parents. But that’s not the end, I found out he owe his “ex-gf” $24k and all the loansharks $50k. He got $50k loan from his company and paying back his company bit by bit but his $24k he still need to pay $1/month. So subsequently he got nothing left every month after pay all his debts.
    Now alrd 1 year and 7 months I together with him. Honestly speaking, I have supported his living expenses until today. Even when he wanted to go back to his hometown I will buy returns tickets for him. Recently I found out he stole my credit card and withdraw all my money without letting me know and sold my LV wallet / My Birthday headphone / his watch which I bought for him for his birthday. He say he don’t have enough money to spend. I’m super frustrated because I have been stressed up for 1 year plus and yet he still wanted to steal all my money. I slapped him on his face really hard for a few times. It was my first time slapping someone. He still begging me to be with him. What should I do? Is love really can forgive everything?

  • Lynnita

    After 9 years in marriage with my hubby with 3 kids, my husband started going out with other ladies and showed me cold love, on several occasions he threatens to divorce me if I dare question him about his affair with other ladies, I was totally devastated and confused until a old friend of mine told me about a spell caster on the internet Dr. osas who help people with the relationship and marriage problem by the powers of love spells, at first I doubted if such thing ever exists but decided to give it a try, when I contact him, he helped me cast a spell and within 24hours my husband came back to me and started apologising, now he has stopped going out with ladies and he his with me for good and for real. Contact this great spell caster for your relationship or marriage problem at spirituallove @ hotmail . com.

  • Kk

    I sure hope you’re getting help as well funkytron12. Btw, your name matches you.
    Advice to the honest guy!!!
    I totally empathize your situation but 10 or 20 bucks isn’t that big of a deal. You should lend him 20 or 30 bucks when you know he short with money. Tell him to ask it from you anytime. As long as you have it you’ll loan it to him but he have to pay you back once he gets pay. Be a good role model to him and show him how to be a better person by learning from you. Your boyfriend is not robot. His heart and soul will see what he has done wrong and he will be good to you. Be patient if you really love him you’ll see a change from him.
    I hope things are better between you 2. Good luck

  • http://www.thelasthonestguy.com The Last Honest Guy

    Stealing is stealing, it doesn’t matter if it’s $100 or $2. It’s not your job to be “fixing” these guys. When one guy is no good, move on to the next one until you find the right one.

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