This guy I’ve been seeing for the past few months; divorced 2 years ago after 7 years of marriage, dated a girl 10 years younger for 10 months after his divorce was final and broke up with her to be single for once in his life. 6 months later he meets me and gets pretty serious early on and has become Mr Confused.
he doesn’t want to give me up but feels like he wants to be single bc 1 marriage counselor told him he should be single for 1 year before getting into another relationship. I’m guessing to not fall into the arms of someone like his ex wife. I am nothing like her at all but he seems to have been experiencing post traumatic stress recently. He keeps on telling me he doesn’t want to feel guilty when he wants to travel and doesn’t want to worry about a girlfriend at home bc it makes him feel bad. His ex wife didn’t let him do much without him and did make him feel bad when he did things with friends and not her. I could care less what he does as long as he doesn’t cheat and he knows this. I’m an extremely independent person and I do things with my friend alone all the time.
Well a few evenings ago he tells me his gut is telling him he should be single. That he fights wanting to be with me and being single. I told him I was crushed but if that’s how he feels, that’s how he feels.
The next day he calls me in the morning and leaves me a message that he couldn’t sleep well last night; he was all stressed out. The guys at his fire station told him he was talking about me in his sleep and sleep walking and talking. I then spoke to him later that day and he ask me how I’m doing, I tell him I’m crushed and he proceeds to tell me, “I care about you so much, I mean I don’t think you realize how much you mean to me.” “Please let me come over after my shift on Wed morning to see you.” I don’t know what the point of this meeting is but I said I would see him. I’m really hurt but understand that he needs time. I’m not sure what to do bc I don’t want to date him and him date other people too.
Would you want to back off entirely or date but not as seriously and accept him dating others too? Any other advice is appreciated
Clear and simple, this guy is just looking for a booty call. The fact that he says that his gut tells him he wants to be single is BS. That’s just a way for him to tell you in a soft way that he wants to be single but at the same time he wants to continue to get laid by you whenever he wants to. That’s actually every man’s dream and is nothing new. Of course he says he cares about you because you are probably decent looking and he wants to maintain a relationship with you, again, with the purpose of having access to your panties. He also wants to meet up with you in person, conveniently enough at your place, in hopes that he gets laid. If you don’t believe me, than accept to see him but instead go to a public place where there’s lots of people and I guarantee that he will somehow use a lame excuse to ask you to go back to your place or his place. As you know, I am on honest guy and I take pride in saying it how it is.
My advice to you is to be aware of what he really wants and not get fooled by those lines he has been using. If you are willing to accept having an open-relationship with him then continue this relationship if not, please don’t think that this is only temporary and that if you hang with him long enough he will eventually want to be committed to you . This will never happen. One thing you should appreciate is the fact that he has told you how he really feels instead of making you think you’re the only one and later catching him with another girl. Now the decision is yours and you should be firm in your decision and not give in to any story he might later tell you. I hope this helps.